Harvest Moon
by Jana
Summary: AU - The first few months after the change were always the most difficult. The girl would need supervision. A patient teacher to guide her and keep her out of trouble. I didn't just feel obligated to fill this role, I yearned to fill it.
1. Prologue

**Harvest Moon**

Prologue

By: Jana~

**XXX**

My siblings often amuse me.

At that moment, I was wavering between amused and annoyed.

I wasn't pleased, either, but sometimes it is necessary to hunt the less appealing. We often adjust our activities based off the balance of nature in the area. Recently, there had been a surge in the deer population.

I much prefer mountain lion. Not for the thrill of the challenge, but simply because they taste better. Emmett prefers bear. Not because they taste better, but for the thrill.

Alice, as always, was indifferent. As I was, she was waiting for Emmett to decide on how to best create entertainment for himself. Deer are docile creatures, and rarely put forth much of a fight during the brief struggle to survive.

Emmett is not fond of gentle game.

_If he doesn't hurry up, I say we go and leave him to chase his down._

I gave my sister a nod of approval, watching as each of Emmett's decisions turned to visions inside her mind. The one where he ended up in the river brought a smirk to my face.

But then the winds shifted, taking our scents to the herd of deer. They scattered, but I was unconcerned with that. New scents came with the change. The scents both enticed me and worried me.

Instinct drove me. I'm faster than most. My siblings struggled to keep up with me.

_Edward! Wait!_

A vision played out inside her head, but that just prepared me for what I was about to find. The vision then changed to something far more acceptable. Then it vanished. We both knew why.

Finally, I saw them, but he was too busy feasting to discern my approach. Surprise was my advantage. I hit him full force, sending him flying across the field. He righted himself quickly and took an offensive stance, crouching and hissing as I crouched over his victim defensively.

"That's mine!" he growled.

"Not rightfully! You are on claimed territory!"

_Like hell I am. Twerp is a scavenger._

His thoughts were preposterous, so I didn't bother responding to them. I just glared back and waited. He was eyeing me, trying to determine what my weaknesses were. I allowed it. I only needed a few seconds more.

_It's a Cullen!_

_They broke the treaty!_

_But who's the other one?_

_Wait for the command!_

_He's standing over her!_

The wolves' thoughts bombarded me all at once. I hissed in response, and to get their attention. "It wasn't me! Look at my eyes! Are they red? It was _him_!" I pointed at the trespassing vampire for emphasis.

The trespasser's thoughts filled with curse words and plans to flee. And then he did. All the wolves but the alpha gave chase, just as Alice and Emmett arrived.

_He thinks you did it._

"He's not sure," I answered my sister. One thing that was for sure… he knew the victim. He was lamenting over the idea that, if she didn't die on her own, he would have to kill her, because she would now turn into the enemy of his tribe. I felt a pang of sympathy for his grief. "I might be able to stop the change from happening, Jacob."

_You can save her?_

_Edward, no! It's not safe! I can't predict when the mutts are around!_

I ignored Alice. I was fully aware of the risk involved. If I could not restrain myself, the treaty would likely be seen as broken, and a war between the wolves and my family would break out. Starting with my death, and possibly Alice's and Emmett's as well.

"I can try. I cannot guarantee the outcome."

_Try. Please._

I knelt next to the young woman and located the wound. With where it was, on her forearm as opposed to a wrist or her neck, the nomad's intentions were clear. He had planned to drain her slowly while she suffered. Rage filled me, but I used it to help me through what I was about to attempt.

_Spit it out. You'll drain her and doom us all if you don't._

I took my sister's advice. The first pull tasted heavily of venom. If not for that, I might have failed instantly. The second pull wasn't any weaker. There was no stopping the change from happening. I took a third pull, just to be certain. I didn't dare take another.

I glanced at Jacob and shook my head, then I sealed the wound closed with my tongue and placed her hand on her heaving chest. Her heart rate was fast and erratic. Her breathing was labored. She was twitching and convulsing alternately. The shock of her ordeal had, mercifully, rendered her unconscious.

_So, that's it? You can't save her?_

"Not her humanity, no. But she doesn't need to be destroyed. We can teach her to live as we do, if you will allow us to."

_I don't know… I can't…_

"Yes, you can. You are the alpha. You are the only one who can rightfully make this decision. I know you consider us the enemy, but this isn't her fault."

Jacob's thoughts jumped randomly. Memories of spending time with this girl intermixed with horrifying images of ripping her apart.

"It doesn't have to be like that," I assured him.

He seemed to be searching for opinions from the rest of his pack, but the only two still in wolf form were Seth and Embry. The rest had phased into their human forms so that they could burn the pieces of the dismembered vampire.

Seth and Embry were younger than Jacob, and offered nothing of help in making a decision.

_Pups in charge of anything besides where to find a good ass scratching tree is ridiculous!_

I ignored Emmett and tried again with Jacob. "You obviously care about her. She didn't ask for this to happen. Isn't a life such as this better than no life at all?"

Jacob's love for the girl and hatred of my kind battled for a moment within his thoughts. Finally, he conceded.

_Fine. Help her._

"Thank you."

As I began to lift her, Alice asked, "What's her name? How old is she?"

_Bella. Isabella Swan, but she goes by Bella. She just turned eighteen a couple weeks ago._

"She goes by Bella," I said, translating Jacob's thoughts for my siblings. "She's eighteen."

_At least she's legal. Less complications._

I nodded at Emmett, then turned back to face Jacob. "Would you like us to contact you? Later? After?"

_I'm going to need some time._

He turned and left then, anger and anguish filling his mind. I felt pity for the boy. I also felt for the young, limp woman in my arms. The days ahead of her would be excruciating, I knew.

A few miles away from the clearing, as my siblings and I ran for home, I heard a lone, heartwrenching wolf cry.

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

Okay, so, the journey begins. I'm a bit nervous about this one. Not only is it from Edward's POV, which I'm not so sure I have a solid handle on, but because I know I won't be able to update this story as fast as I had _**Two Weeks**_. I just don't want to disappoint people.

I considered waiting until I had half the fic done before starting to post, but this story isn't pouring out of me like _**Two Weeks**_ did, so who knows how long it would have taken for me to get that far in.

Plus, reviews tend to ignite my creativity. I'm kinda hoping that I'll see some reviews for this, and it'll set a fire under my muse. Right now, she's not telling me I _can't_ write this story, but she isn't being helpful about it, either.

I wanted to say a quick thanks to my beta, Kristylized… not only for beta-ing, but for creating my very cool banner for this story, and for her creative input. If you haven't seen it yet, you should go check out her fic, _**You Found Me**_. It rocks socks, I promise!

I also want to thank everyone who reviewed _**Two Weeks**_… The response was both thrilling and humbling, and I very much appreciate every kind word said and compliment given. I'm so glad the epilogue didn't disappoint.

Still not smoking, for those who were following my progress with that.

A quick mention that my novel, _**The Mengliad**_, can be purchased on Amazon, for those who might be interested.

And now I ask that you please review, whether it be negative or positive. Positive reviews will spark my creativity and get you faster updates, negative reviews will tell me if I should bother continuing.

Thanks, and MTLBYAKY


	2. Chapter 1

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter One

By: Jana~

**XXX**

My father's concern found me as I carried the girl through the door. No offense was taken on my part, though. Of course the scene would bring questions with it.

It's hard to control one's thoughts. Usually, as deliberation arrives at a conclusion, one can edit what is said accordingly. Since I can read minds, those around me don't have that luxury.

_What did you do?_

I continued to move toward the couch, dismissing my father's accusation.

_I'm sorry._ "What happened?" he amended.

"A trespassing nomad. I stopped him before he could kill her, but…"

"He did more than just _that_!" Alice flitted over to us. Emmett was a moment behind her. "He tried to suck the venom out!" Her pride in me was misplaced and unearned. I had acted with foolish impulsivity.

Carlisle's thoughts raced as he stared at me. I waited for him to decide on and voice one of them. "How did you find the will to stop?"

"I don't honestly know." The monster inside me would never have allowed that kind of self-control. Something happened out in that clearing. Something that went beyond what is rational, or what is irrational.

The unexpected desire to save the girl – this _child_ – had somehow given me the will to try for the impossible. It gave me the strength to resist killing her myself, and finishing what the trespassing vampire had started.

Alice had a theory about that, based off a vision she'd had while on our way home, but it seemed too ridiculous to even consider. So I didn't bother to consider it. I dismissed it now as I had then.

Carlisle resumed his examination of the girl, his further questions remaining unspoken. "Everything appears to be progressing as it should be," he said.

I wasn't as certain as he was. Her stillness and silence concerned me.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow at me. I saw myself in his thoughts, scowling. "Are you hearing something that I'm not?" he asked.

"Her vitals sound as they should," I answered. "It's what I am not hearing that bothers me."

Never once had I encountered a silent mind in all of my existence. Even when unconscious or on the brink of death, I have heard the thoughts of others. Any living thing, if it is capable of thought, I can hear them.

So then why was this seemingly ordinary girl's mind silent?

"You can't read her thoughts?"

Carlisle's fascination irritated me. I didn't want him to be fascinated. I wanted his insight into what was happening. But he didn't seem to know any more than I did.

_You could read the others as they were changing…_

I reminded myself that he couldn't help his musings. He was merely reasoning through the information. It did little to ease my tension.

_Stop being so impatient! Give him time. If anyone can figure it out, he can._

Apparently, my frustration was obvious to my sister. I acknowledged Alice by shifting my eyes in her direction and nodding once. By the time I had refocused on Carlisle, his thoughts were on a different subject.

…_police chief's daughter. Without a body, he won't stop searching…_

"I didn't think of that," I muttered. In truth, I hadn't been thinking of anything beyond what I had seen in Alice's visions. Initially, she saw the girl dying – in my anger, I growled as I approached and the nomad snapped her neck. After that vision, I decided to curb my rage, which produced a more favorable image. Favorable to me at that time, at least.

I just couldn't allow an innocent life to be taken when I was capable of stopping it from happening.

_You did the right thing. We might have to plant some evidence, though. Have it appear as if she had been attacked by a wild animal._

Alice's vision came immediately after Carlisle's thoughts. She and Emmett would take care of that. I could concentrate on the girl.

The debate on where to move her was brief. I insisted, ignoring the speculative thoughts of my family. It was the only room in the house with a single occupant, anyway. Myself.

I was inexplicably drawn to her. I needed to protect her. I wanted to comfort her as her body twitched and she moaned in pain. She belonged in my room, where I could care for her. She was my responsibility. I was the one who had saved her, after all. Or, better put, doomed her.

_How is the patient doing?_

I replaced the cool, wet washcloth on the girl's forehead. "She is now exhibiting signs of suffering, but not on a level that would be deemed normal."

_Perhaps she's not normal._

That was an intriguing thought, and possible, given that I could not read her mind. Though, the girl I had glimpsed within Jacob's memories didn't appear to have any mental deficiencies. Or, at least, none that were obvious.

_I wonder… Could Alice's visions…?_

I groaned aloud, interrupting the direction of Carlisle's thought.

_Sorry. Though, you must admit, her visions seem sensible. What happened in the clearing…_

"I'm not so sure," I argued. "What if this girl _is_… abnormal? How might that affect what Alice sees?"

"You haven't left her side since you found her."

"I feel responsible for her. Nothing more."

Even as I said the words, doubt plagued me. Could my father hear the uncertainty in my tone? How grateful I was that no one within my family could read minds as I could.

_You deserve happiness, son._

Carlisle's opinion was clouded by his love for me. I was not worthy of his praise. I deserved nothing. I had accepted that truth long ago.

"And what of the girl's happiness?" I asked coldly. "Should that not be considered?"

_No one is suggesting that, Edward. No one is proposing she be forced into anything._

She had already been forced. Forced into a half-life, her humanity stolen from her. How could I ask more of her? How could I request she see me as anything other than the monster partially responsible for her fate?

While my intentions were without malice, I _was_ partially responsible. Hadn't I once admonished Carlisle for not giving me the choice? Yet here I was, having just robbed this girl of the same. Maybe she would have preferred death. Had I alerted the nomad to my presence, he would have snapped her neck – a quick and humane way to die. She could be in Heaven now, singing with angels, her soul not lost or damned… if not for me and my _admirable_ intentions.

She would not forgive me, nor should she. And I wouldn't ask her to.

Once the girl awakened, and could make coherent decisions, Alice's visions would change. Of that I was certain.

_You're an idiot._

I had wondered when Rosalie would make an appearance. She was the only one who hadn't yet, in the hours that followed my arrival with the girl. Emmett informed her of the events that had transpired, but unlike the rest of my family, she had no esteem for my actions.

"Thank you for your observation."

_You could have doomed us all. Do you ever think of anyone besides yourself?_

The irony of that question made me scoff. Rosalie was the most self-centered being I had ever known. "I wasn't thinking of myself in that moment. I was thinking of the girl, and of Jacob's grief. If Carlisle had been able to save your humanity, would you not have wanted him to try?"

That shut her up. She grumbled wordlessly as she left my room.

My full attention returned to the girl. Her twitching had eased, but she was tenser than before. She moaned more often now, the sound threatening to shatter my dead heart into pieces.

I had felt a great deal of empathy for my mother and siblings when they went through the agony of the change, but what I was experiencing now, with this girl, was on a different level entirely. I actually wished to trade places with her, to take the pain on myself so to spare her from it. If I could have done so, would I have earned her eventual forgiveness?

Probably not.

_Won't you at least consider that Alice might be right about this?_

Esme often wished that I might find love someday. It was a mother's desire for her son's happiness.

"I can't consider it. The notion is ludicrous. She will hate me, as well she should. My actions destroyed her."

"Your actions saved her life."

"Her life was not saved. I only succeeded in stopping her death."

I ached in a peculiar way as I imagined a different outcome. Her lifeless body. The sickening crunch as the nomad snapped her neck. I shook with rage and fear at the thought of it. Rage for the despicable beast that preyed on this innocent, fear that it had almost come to pass.

My own selfishness enraged me as well. I had taken the choice away from her. Or, at the very least, I had interfered with fate. What right had I to do either? What right did I have to want for her existence, regardless of her wishes?

I had played God again, as I had during my rebellious stage. Only, instead of exacting my own brand of vigilante justice, deciding who should die for their crimes, I chose who should live.

No, not live, but merely exist in a frozen, unchanging state, in a world where the most frightening myths are a reality.

_You're an emotional mess right now._

Jasper's attempt to control my mood annoyed me. I wanted to feel the guilt, and the pain, and the confliction. It was a self-imposed penance for my part in altering the girl's path. I glared at him through the artificial sense of calm, and he eased off.

_Just trying to help._

"I don't want that kind of help."

_What do you want?_

"I don't know," I admitted.

_You care about her. You can lie to the others, you can even try to lie to yourself, but emotions speak louder than words. Louder than thoughts, even._

"I'm not denying that."

_You're denying that she could come to feel the same._

"Yes."

He sighed. _How often has Alice been wrong?_

"How often have I come upon a silent mind?" I asked in return, allowing my exasperation with the conversation to show through in my tone.

There was a first time for everything, was my point. Not only that, but Alice's gift was not infallible.

He took the hint. _Fine. Be miserable._

As if I had a choice. Misery was all I had ever known. Sure, there were occasional distractions, but nothing held my interest for long, or filled the void of loneliness.

They all had someone. Their lives held a purpose mine did not – to be in love with and take joy in their mates. That was something I had yet to experience firsthand. And experiencing it secondhand, through my gift of reading minds, was disturbing rather than gratifying.

There had been a couple opportunities for me to claim a mate, Rosalie being the first, Tanya being the last, but I could not see myself bound to either of them in that manner. Rosalie and I were in agreement, though she childishly insisted I should want her, even when she didn't want me. Tanya was harder to dissuade. She wanted me, but more as a conquest than as a mate.

The girl began shrieking and thrashing. Her pain became my pain. I welcomed the punishment of that. There was little room beside her, but I inched into that small amount of space and partially draped my body across hers, hoping to steady her. Maybe the coolness of my skin would help ease the fire raging inside her. I wondered if anyone had ever tried that before.

Her thrashing became more of a subtle writhing, her shrieking returned to a guttural moaning.

"It will all be over soon," I whispered in her ear as I held her. "You are not alone."

Could she sense that I was with her? Was my presence comforting or frightening? When her tension eased slightly, I supposed the former as the answer.

As long as I was of help to her in any way, I would stay with her.

_Cozy._

Leave it to Emmett to assume something tawdry. I growled softly but otherwise ignored him, my eyes closed, my head resting next to the girl's. Of course I wasn't sleeping, as it might have appeared, but then neither was she. She was suffering, and I was counting.

_Two hundred twenty-two beats per minute, divided by the square root of pi, multiplied by thirty-eight breaths per minute…_

"I don't get what the big deal is. I think it's nice that you saved her."

I abandoned my pointless mathematical calculations and glared up at my usually dense brother. "The choice was not mine to make," I explained with as much patience as I could muster.

"You didn't make it. The damage was already done. You couldn't just sit there and let him finish. 'Oh, hey, never mind me, I'm just going to sit here and wait for you to finish before I kill you for feeding on our land.'"

He smirked as if he had said something humorous. I was not amused.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You know, for someone so smart, you sure are dumb. I think you like being miserable. You think it makes you deep or something. It doesn't. It just makes you a pain in the ass. And right now, you're being the biggest one I've seen in a while. You did a good thing. Everyone thinks so."

Not everyone. And the only opinion that mattered had yet to be tallied. It was absent, like the mind that contained it. Peacefully, frustratingly absent. Her thoughts didn't add to the din of noise I was forced to endure ever constantly, but I found myself wishing for them to. I wanted her voice inside my head. The unfamiliar longing troubled me.

Of all the minds in all the world through all the decades, why did hers have to be silent to me?

It felt like a punishment. One I likely deserved, but it punished the girl as well, and that angered me. She deserved no form of punishment as she had committed no crime. She should not be made to suffer due to my past transgressions. Yet she was, because I was powerless to help her. Powerless, because I couldn't read her mind, and therefore could not determine her needs.

Was the cool, wet washcloth soothing or annoying? Were my whispered words comforting or unnerving? Those questions remained unanswered, so I did the only things I could think of to do, inadequate as I was sure they were. I held her tighter as she convulsed, and planted comforting kisses in her hair as she screamed.

_The visions become stronger with each passing hour._

I knew that. I had seen them all clearly, since she made no attempt to hide them from me.

"_She_ could still decide differently," I argued. There was no point in denying it any longer. They were my own thoughts and feelings that were responsible for Alice's visions.

_I don't see that happening._

"You see only what _my_ decisions have shown you. _She_ is hardly in any condition to make her own right now."

_I don't see any deviation from this ending, Edward. Any decision she makes, the end result will be the same._

"So, it's destined?"

Alice flashed me a mischievous grin as she nodded. _She's your mate. Your _soul_ mate. That's why you didn't kill her out in the clearing. You couldn't._

As I had watched us interact inside Alice's mind, my affection for the girl swelled. The conversations we had yet to engage in were inaudible, but we were both equally rapt, hanging on each other's every word.

I longed to experience those envisioned moments with her. To brush the back of my fingers across her cheek tenderly. To share stories that earned me her smiles. To feel her hand in mine as we strolled companionably through the blooming meadow.

"When, Alice?"

_She'll be waking up within the hour. But, Edward, keep in mind, she can't see my visions like you can. She doesn't know what her future holds, and all this will be confusing and frightening to her at first._

Of course I had already considered that inevitability. The first few months after the change were always the most difficult. Instincts rule over rationality. Since raging thirst is never far from a newborn's mind, it often makes for careless choices.

The girl would need supervision. A patient teacher to guide her and keep her out of trouble. I didn't just feel obligated to fill this role, I yearned to fill it. I wanted to help her through the difficult transition. I wanted to be the one from whom she sought understanding and wisdom.

I would learn of her in the process. Discover her likes and dislikes. Whatever she desired, it would be hers. It was the least I could do for her. It was also the least of what I wanted to do for her.

I was already lost to her, powerless to escape, held captive by an unseen force that drew me to her, and by my sister's visions of a promised future. I was in love with Bella Swan.

But that love was one-sided.

She had yet to even learn my name. Yet to even lay her eyes upon me. What would her opinion of me be when she did?

I didn't have long to ponder that question.

_It's time!_ "It's time!"

I stood from where I had been sitting on the chaise beside her, not wanting my close proximity to unnerve her, and joined my family by the door to my room.

Their thoughts were buzzing, mostly sharing a common thread, though a few did stray askew.

Alice was excited to become Bella's new best friend. She was already planning several shopping excursions they would take, once Bella learned control.

Esme's wishes were centered around my happiness. My mother is one of the most selfless beings I have ever known.

Unlike Rosalie. I love my sister, but her need to be the center of the universe can be… off-putting. Leave it to Rose to make this moment about her.

Carlisle was analytically scrutinizing every nuance of the situation. My father's compassion was matched only by his inquisitiveness.

My brothers were on tactical standby. Jasper was considering all the ways in which a frantic newborn could be a threat to his family, and how to calm her should the likelihood arise. Emmett was mentally rehearsing defensive maneuvers, should he need to physically subdue her.

I caught Emmett's attention, interrupting his mental drills. "Only if absolutely necessary," I said. He rolled his eyes but nodded acquiescently.

Bella's heart pounded cruelly. Had she not been moments away from the finality of her transformation, the hasty, abnormal rhythm would have killed her most certainly. Her breathing turned sharp and rapid. She began to whimper and growl.

Needing to go to her, wanting to help her in some way, I took a step forward. A hand on my shoulder stopped me from taking a second.

_You would only be appeasing yourself, son. She's past consoling. She might possibly lash out at you, like a wounded animal at its rescuer._

I knew my father was right, but it took effort not to shrug off his hand and go to her anyway.

When Bella's body stilled, I held my breath and watched her eyes carefully. I ignored my family's thoughts and focused on her and her alone. Any moment now…

**To be continued…**

**Author's Notes:**

Okay, so, what do we think so far? Edward seems a tad OOC to me, but I guess with it being AU, I have a little leeway. Still, I would like him to be as close as possible, at least in most aspects.

Lovable, self-loathing little vampires are difficult to write. (grin)

For those who are interested in such things, I made two Twilight fan videos that I've uploaded onto YouTube. My username there is: janaonwheels

Keep in mind, I'm not great at video making, so they're not fantastic or anything. Still, I enjoy making them, and I'm proud of them.

I'm always looking for songs for new projects. If you can think of a song that might work for Edward and Bella, please let me know.

And please let me know how you liked this chapter. Seriously. Because if it sucks, I will just scrap the project and move on.

Thanks for reading, and for all the wonderful words of encouragement and support!

MTLBYAKY


	3. Chapter 2

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Two

By: Jana~

**XXX**

Crimson eyes grew wide soon after they opened. Unmoving and unblinking, she stared straight ahead, above her and at the ceiling. She was likely trying to understand, attempting to piece together some kind of logic to explain what she was experiencing.

But she would find no reasonable explanation. Nothing to reasonably explain why she could see details and colors she couldn't before, or hear sounds that no human should be able to. Nor would she be able to dismiss her other heightened senses.

She already knew we were in the room with her because of them. She could taste our scents in the air around her. Would mine hold any significance to her, given that I had spent every moment of the last three days with her?

Hers was already ingrained in me. It had changed subtly throughout her transformation, but had stabilized about four hours ago. I had been inhaling her continuously since then, memorizing her. I wanted my scent ingrained her memory as well.

I could feel her panic starting to rise through Jasper. He focused on calming her, but the effort wasn't enough to stop her actions. Alice saw it only a moment before it happened.

Bella leapt off the chaise, ending up across the room and against the glass wall. It cracked a little with the impact; the sound of it splitting caused my family's thoughts to become alarmed. If it weakened further and gave way, it would offer Bella an escape route.

Emmett considered pouncing on her, but when Alice saw them both crashing through the wall and falling to the ground outside as a result, I held my hand up to stop him. That would certainly scare her, more so than she already was.

"Bella, come away from the glass," I said, purposefully sedate. She seemed confused by my words. Disoriented, I assumed.

"Who are you? Where am I? What did you do to me?"

All reasonable questions. "Come away from the glass, and I will tell you anything you wish to know."

Warily, or so it seemed, she took two steps away from the wall, more into the center of the room. I could hear Emmett contemplating how he might slip in behind her if she became distracted.

"My name is Edward Cullen." I introduced myself only, though I did gesture to the rest of my family as I continued. "This is our home. We didn't do anything to you but bring you here."

Answering her questions succinctly, with little elaboration or emotion, did nothing to deter her. Not that I expected it to. I was stalling.

"Why? What happened? What's wrong with me?"

She deserved to know, I just wasn't sure how to say it. I remembered when Carlisle told me, and how I had scoffed at the absurdity of it. Or I would have scoffed, if I hadn't been insane with agonizing thirst.

I felt that familiar agony now, through Jasper. He could feel her as easily as he could anyone, but it seemed he could only partially influence. He was able to manage her fear, reducing it to an intense curiosity and minor concern, but the pain of her thirst would not abate.

She needed to hunt, and I needed her to understand that and trust me so that I could take her. Earning that understanding and trust would not be easy, though. I was about to speak the most outrageous words she had ever heard in her life.

"You were attacked. By a vampire. He bit you…" That seemed to spark some kind of memory for her. She immediately looked down and ran her index finger along the crescent shaped mark on her forearm.

"I don't feel like I'm asleep," she muttered, like her musing was meant for her ears alone.

She thought she was in a nightmare. In a way, she was, just one she would never wake from.

"You're not asleep." Even though my voice was soft like hers had been, she startled as if I had shouted at her. Her eyes, full of uncertainty, locked on to mine.

"Vampires aren't real?" This was asked rather than stated. Her grasp on the typically believed notion was starting to slip.

"Yes, Bella, vampires are real."

Would she piece it together and come to the conclusion on her own? That she was now a creature she believed to be mythical? If she didn't, I would have to tell her, though I dreaded the idea of doing so. I didn't want to frighten her. I didn't want her first impression of me to be negative.

She didn't seem frightened now, however. She seemed confused. Her scowl deepened as she continued to stare at me.

"I'm assuming my name is Bella?"

My family's thoughts turned chaotic. I focused on Carlisle's alone.

_Amnesia. Trauma induced, most likely. It should be temporary._

"Yes," I answered, surreptitiously in response to my father, openly in answer to Bella's question. "You don't remember?"

She huffed. "Obviously not, or I wouldn't have asked."

_Feisty. Good luck with that._

I stopped myself from rolling my eyes at Emmett. I would rather deal with 'feisty' than Rosalie.

_Her thirst is agitating her. She needs to hunt._

Jasper was right, I agreed, but the subject would have to be broached delicately.

"Can you remember anything? About yourself, or about what happened to you?" I asked her. We would start with that. I could then ease her into what she couldn't remember. What I knew of her, that is, which wasn't much.

Her brow furrowed, and for a moment she was silent. "Fire," she said finally. "I felt like I was being burned alive. But then it felt like I was in an endless black pit for a while. Until the fire came back."

_Interesting._

I supposed it was, but I pushed Carlisle's opinion aside. We would get back to that later.

"You don't remember being attacked? When I mentioned him biting you, you touched your scar."

"When you mentioned it, it tingled. A psychosomatic reaction, maybe?"

I raised one eyebrow in response. "Maybe," I said. Not only did her word choice indicate intelligence, but the way in which she attempted to analyze her reaction did as well.

_Interesting._

Indeed. This time, I acknowledged my father with a subtle nod.

Maybe I hadn't been giving Bella due credit. Maybe she would handle the news of what she had become better than I expected. Better than any of my family members, myself included. I decided to test my theory.

"You understand what has happened to you, don't you?"

"I might have amnesia, but I'm not an idiot. What I don't understand is… besides being _Edward_ _Cullen_, who are you? Why am I here?"

The animosity in her tone took me by surprise. So much so that I found I was unable to answer her. Alice did for me, not that I was pleased by her doing so.

"He saved your life. Twice. He tried to a third time, but he was too late for that."

I growled at my sister, trying to silence her, but of course she ignored me. I had wanted to wait to tell Bella those details, later, when she wasn't feeling so overwhelmed.

"In what ways did he do that?" Bella asked.

Alice's thoughts turned smug. She honestly believed she had done me some kind of service, simply because Bella's tone was less harsh now.

"He stopped the nomadic vampire from killing you, he stopped the wolves from killing you, and then he tried to save your humanity by sucking the venom out. He obviously wasn't successful, but he _did_ try."

Bella's deep scowl returned. "What wolves?"

I hissed at Alice, in irritation and in warning. I didn't want to compound Bella's emotional stress by introducing another complicated subject. And the wolves _were_ a complicated subject. Added to that complication was her friendship with the alpha, Jacob Black, and probably with the rest of the pack.

How much did she know? Did she know the Quileute could phase into wolves? That her friend, Jacob, could? Even if she were privy to that fact before, her amnesia now likely interfered with that memory. Learning that vampires exist, and that she was one now as well, was enough of the fantastic for the moment.

"They're unimportant," I answered. Alice immediately disagreed, but in thought only. "For now they are," I amended. "We have all the time in the world to educate her on the mutt pack, all right?"

I was so focused on Alice, and she on me, that neither of us realized what was happening, or what was about to happen, until it was too late. In a split second decision – evidently, or Alice would have seen it – Bella chose then to make a break for it.

Emmett's sharp reflexes prevented her from escaping, but they both ended up crashing through the wall, falling to the ground outside. Shattered glass rained down on them as Emmett pinned her beneath his immense frame. It was not unlike Alice's earlier vision.

I leapt out of my room to join them. Everyone else in the house followed.

Jealousy burned inside me. I had to fight the urge to rip my brother off of her and claim her as mine. Emmett was just trying to stop her from fleeing, I reminded myself. His thoughts confirmed that, of course.

"Careful, Emmett," I growled, my anger tethered only by a thin, fraying thread.

_I think I'm in more danger of being hurt here than she is!_

"You're scaring her."

"I'm not scared!" she snapped, persistently struggling for her release. "I just don't want to be here!"

The idea of her out in the world, unaware of how to appropriately behave within her new circumstances, was truly frightening. "Bella, don't be absurd," I scolded her. "Where would you go?"

Her combativeness finally ebbed. "I don't know."

She sounded defeated. I sighed as I knelt near her, still under Emmett. "There are many things you will need to understand. I can help you, teach you, but first, I need you to promise to be a little more cooperative. Can you promise me that?"

That irritated her. She glared up at me. "Do I have a choice? I'm a prisoner, right?"

"You're not a prisoner," Alice said, interfering again.

I knew my sister meant well, but I wanted to be the one to deal with this. I shot her a firm, disapproving look.

_I don't see her running now, Edward. I'm sorry I missed it before, but she decided it spur of the moment. You should tell Emmett to get off her. He won't listen to anyone but you._

I knew she was right about that. Emmett's thoughts were always simplistic and straightforward. He believed it was time to let her up as well, but was just waiting for me to say so.

"You're not a prisoner," I said, repeating Alice's words as I signaled to Emmett. Standing, I offered her my hand to help her up, but she ignored it and glared harder, though at the ground.

She stood, crossed her arms over her chest, and then she stared back at me defiantly.

So much for first impressions. It seemed I had been right and Alice wrong from the start. Bella hated me. It was understandable that she would. I could not begrudge her that hatred.

"We only want to help you," I explained. "Once we have, in time, you will be free to leave."

Alice panicked. _Edward, no!_ Her vision showed Bella, her eyes golden in color, leaving us as I watched. I looked devastated in the scene playing out inside her mind.

"In time? For how long were you planning on _helping_ me?"

"That depends," I answered, my eyes stern and locked with hers.

She didn't even flinch. She held my gaze, her tone still indignant as she asked, "What does it depend on?"

"On how quickly you learn." I hid my amusement when she scoffed. Emmett's assessment of 'feisty' wasn't entirely comprehensive. She was far more than that. She was headstrong and stubborn as well.

In the seconds between my answer and her response, as I had predicted she would, she rose to the challenge I had subtly extended.

"I'm sure I can manage."

_Idiot has lost his mind._

_I'm not so sure pissing her off is the way to go here._

_I will respect your right to handle this as you see fit, but be cautious, son._

_She's just acting angry because she's scared. The poor girl._

_She might not be my best friend yet, but I will rip your head off if you hurt her!_

_Hunting, Edward. Now._

Of course I considered my family's opinions – well, except for Rosalie's; she had merely insulted me – but I didn't acknowledge any of them apart from Jasper's. While Bella was distracted, her thirst seemed a distant annoyance, but that had only bought us time. Soon, it would be all she cared about, and that would make her difficult to reason with.

"Are you?" I asked her. She raised an eyebrow at me, as if looking for me to elaborate. So I did. "Are you sure you can manage? You don't yet know what I might ask of you."

She huffed dramatically, like I was the most aggravating individual she had ever known. I supposed that was probably true, at least to some extent. But I would rather her be aggravated than frightened.

"Are you planning on asking something ridiculous of me?"

"No," I answered, "but we might hold opposing views on that."

After glowering at me for a long moment, her gaze then shifted to each member of my family. It seemed she was assessing them, trying to determine what roles they would play in her life as our prisoner. I took a step closer, bringing her attention back to me. I wanted her to know my family eventually, but for now, as she adapted to becoming a vampire, _I_ needed to be her primary focus. The one she relied on solely. If they were too accessible to her, because she hated me, she would soon ignore me and depend on them.

I didn't want that. I couldn't have that. Maybe Alice's envisioned future wouldn't happen – the one where Bella was my mate for all eternity – but it would not be from my lack of trying.

I would start by being her teacher. In time, she might come to see me as more, but if not…

If not, I would let her go. This would be devastating to me – I didn't need Alice's visions to know that – but I would not force her to stay with me. I could never force her. The decision must be hers.

"Your first lesson starts now," I told her firmly, but with a hint of kindness. Her being aggravated with me was one thing, but to alienate her further could cause her to shut me out completely. That would benefit no one.

_Who gets to go with you?_

"You, Alice, and Jasper." My eyes never left Bella's as I said this to Emmett, who had silently asked me the question. He clapped and howled his approval.

Rosalie's thoughts indicated that she was offended, but I knew she didn't actually want to go. She just didn't like being excluded from any form of invitation.

"What about me, Alice, and Jasper?" Bella asked, now more confused than irritated. She had assumed I was speaking to her. "Who of them are Alice and Jasper?"

Her eyes shifted to the left when Alice and Jasper tentatively raised their hands.

"And that's Emmett," I added, gesturing to him. "They will be joining us."

Her hostility redirected onto my bear of a brother temporarily. "Him I know," she muttered.

Emmett smiled sheepishly as he gave an awkward wave. "Sorry about tackling you and all. It's kind of my job, what with me being the strongest. Well, strongest besides—"

"Emmett." I cut him off abruptly, knowing by his thoughts what he was about to say.

No good could come from Bella learning that she was stronger than the rest of us right now. With her desire to escape, even with nowhere to go that she could think of, she might use such knowledge to her advantage. Emmett might have been able to hold her himself this time, but it was a struggle. He could have become injured in the process. If she had known of her full capabilities, he most likely would have been. If several of us were needed to subdue her, even if we were cautious, _she_ might become injured.

Granted, injuries healed quickly amongst our kind, but the pain was often unpleasant.

Then there was the potentiality that such an ordeal might traumatize her. I could imagine the fear she might feel, terror emanating from her as four to seven strangers sprang on her. Instincts would kick in, and she would thrash and fight for her freedom…

Neither scenario appealed to me in the slightest.

I offered her my hand again, though I knew I wouldn't give her a choice on whether she actually accepted this time. Already she was predictable. She glared at it, and then she glared up at me.

"We will be running, Bella, and that might be disorienting to you at first." What's more, there was no way I would risk her attempting to flee again.

And because she just had to be insolent…

"You offer lessons in how to run?"

I couldn't stop the brief smile from appearing on my face. "No. The lesson will take place once we arrive. After running." I extended my hand a little further and waited patiently. I could wait for all of eternity, if need be.

Thankfully, I didn't need to wait nearly as long as that. She might have been stubborn, but she also seemed to have a shred of common sense. There was no moving forward, with lessons or otherwise, until she cooperated.

She rolled her eyes and placed her small hand in mine. The electricity that arced between us was instantaneous. I knew she felt it. There was no way she hadn't. Her expression confirmed that, but as quickly as our eyes met, she lowered them and looked away.

It seemed she either didn't understand it, or was refusing to acknowledge it. Whichever, I decided not to mention it, since it would probably embarrass her. We needed to go hunting, anyway, before Jasper lost his mind.

_Edward? Are you testing to see how long it'll take her to snap and thin out the locals? Because she's about to fail this particular test._

I doubted that. While I couldn't read her thoughts, I could sense her emotions through Jasper. She was edgy, yes, but in no immediate danger of snapping and feasting on the locals. But to be safe, we would hunt far from the human hiking trails. To catch a hiker's scent while in a less controlled frame of mind would be difficult for most members of my family to resist. For Bella, a new vampire, it would be next to impossible.

I glanced down and noted she was watching me, not with hatred, now, but with curiosity. Hope swelled.

"Do you trust me?" I asked her. I knew she didn't, but the question would let her know that I wanted her to.

And since I knew what her answer would be, I didn't wait for it. She struggled to keep up with my first few bounding strides, but after that, we were running…

**To be continued…**

**Author's Notes:**

Okay, here we go! Chapter two. What are we thinking? Good direction? Sucks so bad we couldn't possibly read another word about it? Please let me know, 'kay?

For those who have asked… still not smoking! Yay me!

Did anyone go over and check out the videos I made and uploaded onto YouTube? Just curious. And, actually, I have more than just the two Twilight videos. I mostly have (the TV show) 'Friends'/Matthew Perry tribute videos, but I also have the 'A Baby Story' episode my youngest son was born on, and family trips to amusement parks and such. Oh, and me doing karaoke (rolls eyes). What the hell was I thinking, posting those? Temporary loss of brain function.

Anyway… if you're interested, my username there is: janaonwheels

As always, I am humbled by all your kind words. Thank you so much!

MTLBYAKY


	4. Chapter 3

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Three

By: Jana~

**XXX**

I let her set the pace, of course. I just _encouraged_ her to run in the right direction. She followed that encouragement without question or challenge. Too caught up in the experience to fight me on it, I supposed. Our world could be very beautiful, to those of us who took the time to appreciate it.

I remember little of how the world looked to me as a human. Vague images lacking detail, mostly of a woman I knew to be my mother. But I've read enough minds to know how the world appears through human eyes.

Fewer, less vibrant colors. Duller, inadequate details. Flawed, unremarkable attributes.

The filter all humans see through had been lifted from Bella's eyes. There was now nothing to prevent her from seeing the world as it really was, and it seemed she was doing just that. In awe, she took in every sight as we ran lithely past, wonderment marking her expression. I ached to share the joy of it with her.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

She didn't answer, but she did respond, just indirectly and without words. Her hand tightened around mine and her slight smile grew. Just a little, but still, it was enough to thrill me.

Perhaps she didn't hate me after all.

I wanted so much for that to be true, but I knew that it wasn't.

_Any moment now._

I knew what Alice meant. Though I had been concentrating more on Bella, I did catch a glimpse of her brief vision. The brief ones usually indicated a possible outcome, rather than a definitive one. How Bella reacted next – the decisions she would make – would shape the subsequent several.

To our kind, hunting is instinctual. Hunting animals, however, is not. It is a practice that must be learned, and is often a hard one to master. Bella would not be drawn to their scent, but with her extreme thirst, and with her never having tasted human blood before, I hoped they would be tempting enough.

The sound of their heartbeats, the smell of their blood, alerted us to how near we were, yet Bella seemed unaffected.

_Her thirst is at the back of her mind. You're going to have to bring it to the forefront._

We all slowed to a human-like stroll.

"The burn in your throat…" I mentioned. She immediately tensed. "There is a way to ease it."

Her eyes widened, searching mine. Through Jasper, I could tell that her wild newborn emotions had overpowered all traces of rationality. She needed to feed. Now.

I released her hand and pointed to the trees a few yards away. "Over there," I whispered. I nodded once, encouraging her to go.

She only hesitated for a fraction of a second. Thankfully, instincts seemed to pull her in the right direction. We followed, of course, arriving just in time to witness her take down the buck and sink her teeth into his neck. His fight to survive ended quickly.

Then a new vision formed in Alice's mind, but only a moment before the reality. We both tensed, because we knew what was coming. When we did, Jasper and Emmett tensed in response.

Bella seemed to plummet into some kind of shock. She pushed and backed away from the animal, scrambling to put distance between her and it. Her eyes were wide. Horror filled. Appalled.

"What did I do?" She whispered this, but the anguish she was suffering was loud and clear.

"What was needed to survive," I said. Had she not considered…? "The alternative is worse."

She looked at me then, her eyes still wide. "The alternative?"

The question was unnecessary. She knew what I was referring to. "Bella, we're vampires. Did it not occur to you…?"

"No!" she shouted. "No! I won't…! I can't…! You can't make me…!"

"Bella." I didn't raise my voice at all, but her panicked ramblings ceased instantly. "We don't hunt humans. Our family is different from others of our kind. We only hunt animals."

Grief twisted into her expression as she looked again at the buck she had killed.

_Remorse? For a deer? This is not normal newborn behavior._

Not normal, but certainly genuine. Jasper worked to soothe her guilt as I watched helplessly.

Right then, like never before, I envied Jasper's gift. I wanted to be the one to comfort her, but I knew she would not allow me to be near her.

"Bella…" What could I possibly say to her? Which words would help her understand? "You've done nothing wrong."

Suddenly, her anger for me superseded her mourning.

"I don't want to be this! Why did you do this to me? Why didn't you just let me die?"

"Bella…"

I stopped Alice before she could continue. What my sister planned on saying would not have been helpful, anyway. Bella had the right to be upset. She was right to admonish me.

"Take her back to the house, all right?"

A flash of Alice's vision, showing Bella at the house, was all I needed to see. I was running before the image was fully formed. I told myself that this was for Bella's sake, that my absence might help her to regain her composure, but really, it was my cowardice. I simply could not face her. I could not bear to hear the truth, that I was every bit the monster that nomad was, for condemning her to this half-life.

I continued running until my siblings' thoughts faded into silence. I needed to be free of them. I could see Bella's pain and confusion from each angle…

Emmett was closest, hovering like a warden over his prisoner. Jasper was the farthest, but just slightly, still attempting to lessen her extreme emotional state. He was frustrated over his ineffectiveness. There was definitely something different – something unique – about Bella.

Alice's mind was the hardest to be inside. She was worried, not just for Bella, but for me as well. Visions overlapped in a jumble, creating nonsensical images of numerous potential futures. She had been so certain before, but her earlier visions did not appear to be destined after all.

I slowed when the peace of distance found me. They were headed back home now, and I had escaped in the opposite direction.

Her certainty aside, Alice must have been wrong. Or, if not, the fates were cruel and vicious harpies, tempting me with what I desired, yet holding it just out of reach, never to be obtained. I hated them for the malevolent game they were playing, for toying with my emotions, but worse still, was the misery they were inflicting upon Bella.

Was it not enough that she had been attacked in the first place? Not enough that she was now a creature from nightmares? Not enough to have amnesia, further distressing and confusing her? Not enough that she would never see her family and friends again? Why must she also be tortured with a sense of guilt, for simply doing what was necessary in order to survive?

What could this woman have possibly done to provoke the fates in this manner?

I knew why they taunted me.

_I've seen where you ended up, so I know you can hear me._

Alice. I considered running, but she saw that decision and reprimanded me before I could act.

_Don't you do it, Edward! I just want to have a conversation with you! And I don't want to have it while chasing you!_

I rolled my eyes and stayed my ground. When I heard the rustling of her approach, I knew she was within earshot.

"I want to be alone, Alice."

She sighed as she took a seat beside me a minute later, undeterred by my exasperation. "Did you think it was going to be easy?"

"Of course not." Nothing about this would be easy. "I just don't appreciate you getting my hopes up. Your visions from before were clearly subjective, not destined."

"Why?"

"Alice…" I groaned her name, irritated. "The visions were changing so fast, they couldn't even form."

"Those visions were of the near future, not your destiny. You were both overly emotional and reacting to each other… It snarled things up a bit, but the future is clearer now."

She focused then, showing me several images.

Some were reality; her memories of what had happened when they took Bella home. She seemed confused, but composed. Esme was speaking with her as Emmett and Jasper lingered nearby, when Alice had left to come find me.

Some were visions she'd had after Bella calmed down. We were in the meadow again, lying on our sides, facing each other, heads propped up on hands, chatting easily. About what was not discernable, but we were clearly enjoying the conversation.

In the remembered vision, I reached out and touched Bella's cheek. She did not recoil. Instead, she leaned into my touch.

"I think you guys will be spending a lot of time in this meadow. I see it a lot when I see you guys together. It's the one to the east, just past the brook, isn't it?"

I nodded as I visualized it, spinning my own imagined scenario of taking her to it and sharing it with her. I smiled.

"She didn't mean it, you know. What she said."

My smile dropped. "Yes, she did."

"Maybe for a split second, but the opinion won't last. She's just an emotional mess right now."

I growled in Bella's defense. "This has been a very traumatic ordeal. Of course she's an emotional mess."

She smirked at me. _Protective much?_

I had to wonder if all psychics were as smug as my sister. Rolling my eyes and standing, I muttered, "Go home, Alice. Leave me to my thoughts."

"You're not coming?" she asked. A second later, she got another vision and her smirk returned. "Oh. Okay. Yeah, she'll like that. I'll see you at home."

Annoying little sprite, though she was well meaning, and definitely helpful at times. Bella _would_ like it. And it would be a way of introducing her not only to the meadow – our meadow – but also to the beauty that this world could offer. Beauty that could help offset the horrors of it.

I wanted badly to ease the horrors of it. To counteract the pain of the day she'd had already. I would not yet be able to take her there in person. Not while we were alone, at least. She was predictable in her unpredictability. I could not risk her trying to flee, as I would not be strong enough to stop her if she tried.

But I could bring a piece of it to her. There would be a scant amount of the Blue Flax still in bloom. In that, Alice was helpful. She saw the wildflowers I would choose. It would not be a wasted trip, time spent only to find the meadow empty.

I ran east as fast as I could, not wanting to be away from Bella any longer. I should not have left her in the first place. I should not have let her angry words, said in the heat of the moment, rattle me.

Her hatred for me would not last forever. I would simply have to endure until it faded.

The Blue Flax were sparse, as I knew they would be, but, luckily, I was able to find a few that were still clinging to life. After selecting the best of those remaining, I set off for home.

The moon was already rising, even as the sun continued its descent in the sky. The Harvest Moon – the full moon closest to the autumnal equinox – was larger and more vibrant in color than any other full moon. Or so it appeared. In reality, this was only an illusion, though still beautiful to witness.

If Bella would allow me to, I would share its beauty with her.

The closer I was to home, the clearer I could see her through the thoughts of my family. She was sitting on the couch in the living room, her gaze fixed on the floor, motionless like only a vampire could be. She didn't appear to be angry, or sad, or… anything.

Her static state concerned my parents and siblings. Even Rosalie seemed uneasy, though she was also mentally assaulting me. In her mind, I had already been tried, found guilty, and sentenced to an eternity of hostile glares for being the cause of Bella's current condition.

Had I caused it? By leaving as I did, had I caused Bella to shut down and retreat into herself?

I didn't know how to feel about that. Guilty, yes, but also… hopeful? It was ridiculous, wishful thinking, but I did feel hopeful. If she truly felt hatred or indifference toward me, why would she react so despondently to my leaving?

Or maybe she was just reacting to the situation, overall. How arrogant of me to assume otherwise! Why would my absence – the absence of a virtual stranger – mean anything to her?

It wouldn't.

Moments from home, I leapt over the river then slowed, still holding the wildflowers close to my chest, protecting them from the damaging effects of the wind. Caring for them in the same way I wanted to care for Bella, as if she were delicate like a flower.

Relief swirled inside Alice's mind when she realized my close proximity and imminent arrival.

_She started asking questions, but we didn't know if we should answer them. She asked about you, but we didn't know what to tell her. She's been like this for several minutes now._

From five different viewpoints, I saw Bella startle when I entered the house. Rosalie was pretending to read a magazine, so her point of view was that of an article about automotive repair. She was considering all the ways in which she would express her anger at me. One involved my car being dismantled in the most destructive manner possible.

Everyone else's thoughts were like a hum of noise, shifting from awkward concern to relieved curiosity. They were curious to see how I would proceed. Honestly, I wasn't sure how I would. I had no plan, other than to hand her the wildflowers I had picked for her.

I sighed as I sat next to her, staring straight ahead, like she was, for several moments. There was probably a perfect thing to say, but what it could be eluded me. I settled on, "I'm sorry for the horrible day you've had. Perhaps I should have explained it to you first, about the need to hunt, before taking you out."

"I don't think the forewarning would have made it any easier."

Her lips, and nothing else, barely moved when she spoke. Her unhappiness was almost tangible; a physical obstacle between us. A few sprigs of Blue Flax would not change that. Suddenly, it felt ridiculous to be holding them at all.

Knowing I had decided against giving Bella the pathetic peace offering, Alice silently yelled at me.

_Just do it, Edward! She _will _like it!_

I reconsidered, and the following vision showed Bella smiling faintly as I extended the pitiful floral bouquet toward her. Better judgment aside, I emulated the image from Alice's mind.

Bella smiled, faintly, exactly as she had in the vision. She seemed mesmerized by them. I watched her, fascinated, wanting so badly to know what she was thinking.

"Blue Flax? I didn't know these were still in season."

She knew these flowers. She knew their time of blooming. What else did she know? What other facts, or even inconsequential trivia, did her mind hoard?

"Not far from here, is a meadow that enjoys more sunshine than the rest of Forks. There were a few left." Would she question why I went to that meadow to find them?

Apparently, she would not. Her rapt attention remained on the Blue Flax she now held. "It's like I've never really seen the color blue before."

"The world will look quite different to you now. Like earlier, when we were running." When, for a brief moment, she was actually happy. I wanted to help her find that place again. I wanted to join her in that place. "Colors are but a part of it. There's more. Much more. I could show you, if you'd like."

"I really don't think I'm up for any more lessons today." Though she was speaking a sad truth, she infused a lilt of humor into her words.

I smiled a little, choosing to react to her sarcasm over her pain. "I promise not to teach you anything further for what remains of the evening."

Optimistic that she would respond favorably, I extended my hand. Once again, electricity arced between us instantaneously, only this time, she did not disregard its occurrence. She looked down at our clasped hands, then back up at me with a questioning expression.

I could not explain it to her. Not yet, anyway, and preferably not in front of my family. Embarrassing her was not on the agenda.

_She won't run, but she has a million questions for you._

A million questions… surely an exaggeration, but I had no doubt that there would be many. It made sense that there would be. I just hoped the answers wouldn't frighten her. I just hoped to have the answers to give her.

As Esme offered to put Bella's wildflowers in water, her thoughts of their previous conversation gave me some insight on what to expect.

She wanted to know who she was. She wanted to know more than just her name. Unfortunately, I didn't know much else.

I was able to glean some knowledge of Bella's human life through Jacob's thoughts, but hadn't dug any deeper than what came to me easily. My concerns had been elsewhere, and it didn't occur to me that she would awaken without any clue as to who she was.

It is common to be disoriented when first waking, but usually one's own name and a few random memories are present. These typically pertain to the individual, and their life before.

Not so for Bella. She had no recollection of herself, yet she could recall the name of a native wildflower, and its natural season for blooming.

This was just another way in which Bella was unique. I would have been worried, only Carlisle was not, and I trusted his judgment and diagnosis. He believed her to be suffering from Dissociative Fugue, a rare, temporary form of amnesia brought on by psychological trauma.

Of course it was rare. Bella personified extraordinary. Her mind being silent to me… Her emotions being resistant to Jasper's influence…

Perhaps the little information I had would trigger her memories' return.

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

So? Anyone? Still okay, or starting to suck?

Responses:

MouseKitty: They have to take her hunting, so having her running about the forest is unavoidable. They can't just up and take off, because with (human) Bella missing, it would seem suspicious. This is a canon concept. From _Midnight Sun_, (chapter 1, page 21): Bella Swan, dead. My eyes, glowing crimson with fresh blood. The search that would follow. The careful time we would wait before it was safe for us to pull out and start again…

This makes sense to me, so I ran with it.

Daggers4U: LOL, you'll have to read on and see.

Motherthing: Thank you for sharing with me! Yes, he was a little patronizing, but this is a canon concept. He called her absurd in _Twilight_, and teased her and pushed her buttons quite a bit. In the fic, he's doing this for, what he thinks, is a good reason. He would rather her be irritated than frightened. If he can keep her 'feisty', maybe she won't be scared.

ADarnell: Rainbows and puppies! LOL!

To one and all: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I very much appreciate it!

And a big freaking thanks to my beta, Kristy (Kristylized)! If it wasn't for her patience and support, there wouldn't be a fic for you guys to read! Seriously. I have literally pestered the crap out of her… Does this sound like Edward? Does this suck? Should I just quit and pull it before I embarrass myself?

You can probably guess what her answers were, since the fic is still up and I am now updating with a new chapter. And speaking of… sorry it took so long to update. I'm finding that I'm second guessing every line I write, which is time consuming.

Okay, I'm done babbling now. Please let me know if I should continue.

MTLBYAKY


	5. Chapter 4

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Four

By: Jana~

**XXX**

Her smile delighted me in ways I could not begin to describe. It wasn't even intended for me, and yet it stirred in me the greatest happiness I had ever known. Just being near her was like an answer to long forgotten prayers.

Could I honestly expect to inspire the same in her some day? Currently, she at least seemed to be comfortable in my presence. That was enough for now.

She reclined, her hands behind her head as she stared up at the sky. "It's the Harvest Moon, right?"

I had taken her to the large rock slab by the river, located a few hundred yards from the house. I needed to keep her near home, but was hoping for the illusion of privacy. My family was attempting to grant us that, while still at the ready to be of assistance should the need arise.

Joining her, I fell into a similar stance, though my attention was more on her and less on the proof of evening above us. "Yes. Through human eyes, it lacks this vibrancy. This clarity." The smile she wore slowly faded. I missed it instantly. "I'm sorry. I know how overwhelming this must be for you. I'm sure you must have questions."

"I don't even know where to begin," she said after a long moment. "I feel like I have a million of them."

Remembering what Alice had said, I hid my smile. Perhaps she wasn't exaggerating after all. "I will answer them all for you, given time."

She was silent for another long moment. "Did we know each other, before this happened to me?"

I was not surprised by the question, but my knowledge of the forthcoming subject was limited. "No."

She turned partially onto her side, facing me. I mirrored her. "Then how do you know who I am? Did I have identification on me or something? Can I see it?"

"You had no identification on you." Her eager tone made me wish there had been. "There was a backpack nearby, but it held only schoolbooks, and it was not brought back with you."

"You just left it out in the middle of...?" She waved her finger around in the direction of nowhere, since she didn't know the exact location we were discussing. But then her expression changed. "Wait. Schoolbooks? I'm a student?"

Had that sparked a memory? I studied her face closely for any sign of recognition. "It appears so," I answered.

I knew she had been a senior at Forks High School – my siblings discovered that upon searching her backpack before shredding it; fabricated evidence that she had been attacked by a wild animal – but I wanted her to remember that on her own, if possible. Anything she could remember on her own would be better than having the memories handed to her.

"How old am I?"

"Eighteen. You recently turned eighteen, apparently."

Still she showed no sign of recollection.

"When? When's my birthday?"

"I don't know the date." Jacob never thought of it when he briefly recalled her paltry birthday party. Why had this woman's birth not been celebrated with the utmost grandeur? It was incomprehensible. "Would you like me to find out?"

"Who would you find out from? My family? Couldn't I ask them myself? Aren't they worried about me? Do they know I'm here? Do they know what happened? Do they know what I… am?"

Her voice rose with the rush of questions. I wouldn't lie to her, but I didn't want her anxiety to elevate further. I spoke the unsettling words soothingly.

"No, they don't know where you are, or exactly what has happened to you. They can never know that. For our safety and for their own, they were led to believe that you were attacked and killed by a wild animal."

She calmed. She seemed pensive. Rolling off her side and onto her back again, she returned her gaze to the sky.

"I guess that's not very far from the truth, is it? I wasn't exactly killed, but I'm not exactly alive, am I?"

Her passivity caused me to wince. Could it be that she had come to terms with this horrifying truth already? "Not exactly."

"Undead? Immortal?"

"Yes."

Scowling, she turned her head to face me. "We were out in the sunlight earlier."

Once again, I hid my smile. I didn't want her to think I was laughing at her. How was she to know the truth? The myth was widely available to humans, and often believed, if they believed in the existence of vampires at all.

"We were out in the daytime," I corrected, "not in direct sunlight."

"So only direct sunlight kills… us?"

She hesitated before saying the last word. It was a hard truth for her to admit. She was one of _us_. The undead. Immortal. Inhuman.

She had not completely come to terms, then. Not yet.

"No, direct sunlight does not kill us, but it does expose us for what we are. That we're inhuman."

"How does it do that?"

"Someday soon, I will show you." Her brow furrowed deeply. She did not like having her questions unanswered. "This is closely resembling a lesson," I teased her, hoping to lighten the mood. I resisted the urge to smooth away her frown lines with the pad of my thumb. "I thought you didn't want to learn anything else today?"

She rolled her eyes and turned them back to the moon. "I think some lessons will be easier to learn than others."

Truer words were never spoken. "Undoubtedly."

"So, back to the other subject… If you didn't know me before this happened, and I didn't have any form of identification on me, then how do you know my name?"

"A friend of yours was there. Jacob Black." I watched her carefully, to see if she reacted in any way to his name.

"Was he attacked, too? Is he alright?"

She had asked about him like how any caring individual might. She didn't seem to recall Jacob, her friend, at all.

"He was not attacked. He arrived a few moments after I did."

"I know his name should be familiar to me, but it's not." She sighed, frustrated. "Is it normal to have amnesia like this?"

"There is no normal with this. Every conversion is different."

"Okay." She paused, considering her next question, it seemed. "What's my last name?"

"Swan."

"Swan?" she asked, incredulous. "My name is Bella Swan? Were my parents trying to be funny?"

I laughed a little. "Perhaps."

A hint of a smirk revealed itself, but then suddenly, she was very serious. "Earlier, when you left… why did you?"

I hated this question. I despised my cowardice for leaving her in the first place. I also despised myself for not wanting to answer her, and for giving her only the half-truth when I did.

"I felt that my presence was upsetting you. I hoped that by leaving, you would be able to regain some semblance of calm."

"You shouldn't assume to know what's best for me." She huffed, then stood and leapt off the rock. "You don't even know me."

Confused, I watched her leave for a moment before moving to follow her.

What had happened? Had she sensed that I held something back from her? Had I said something that upset her? Silently to myself, I replayed my final words to her, but could find nothing offensive about them.

"Bella," I called to her, "we shouldn't venture too far from home."

"_We_ shouldn't, or _I_ shouldn't?"

"_You_ shouldn't."

She glanced back at me over her shoulder. "Then come with me."

Was it just my imagination, or was she being coy? Intrigued, I darted up beside her, matching her pace. "And where are we going?"

"You said you would show me. You said the world would look different to me now, and that if I wanted you to, you would show me."

She wanted me to show her! Could a dead heart lurch? Mine felt like it had. "I did say that." I quelled my excitement as I offered her my hand. "Do you trust me?"

We both stopped walking and faced each other. While she didn't answer me, a slight smile pulled at her lips briefly. She didn't trust me yet, not completely, but she at least felt comfortable enough to place her hand in mine.

She monitored her own movements closely as she did so, like she was expecting something of significance to happen and didn't want to miss it by looking away. Did she now understand the meaning behind the electricity between us, or was she still merely curious about it?

The familiar arc of energy sparked; her wide eyes lifted, searching mine. She was still just curious, and most likely confused. She wanted answers, and I wanted to give them to her – I wanted to tell her I felt it, too – but…

_Patience, Edward. It's too soon._

I would have been upset with Alice for eavesdropping, but I was too grateful for her advice. She was probably right. She usually was. It would be better to wait to explain things to Bella. No more heavy subjects for now, if it could be helped.

I smiled reassuringly, tightening my hold on her hand. "Don't be afraid. And don't let go."

Swiftly, giving her no time to question me, I began running toward the river. Not too fast initially, but soon I picked up speed, always being sure that she had caught up to my momentum before increasing it.

"Edward?"

She sounded nervous. I gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. "When I say."

Seconds later, we were a few yards from the river's edge.

"Jump!"

She followed my lead and leapt with me, a squeal piercing the air as we flew through it and across to the other embankment. When we landed, she gasped, looking back at where we had come from and then up to me. A smile slowly appeared.

"How did we do that?"

"Bella…" I laughed, not at her, but because I was suddenly elated. To share such simple things with her; to witness her awe at those simple things… "I have so much to teach you."

She pulled her hand from mine and looked away. It confused me.

"I'll try to learn quickly, so that you won't have to put up with me for long."

There seemed to be a hint of sadness in her voice. Did she think she was a burden, an inconvenience that had been forced upon me?

"You shouldn't assume that I'm in a hurry for you to leave my company."

That seemed to brighten her mood a little. Or maybe I was just being stupidly optimistic. Her only response was to glance up at me before strolling to the river's edge. Naturally, I followed. If she would allow it, I would follow her to the ends of the earth.

Bathed in the orange glow of the harvest moonlight, as she took in the splendor of the warm autumn colors reflecting off the water, I marveled at her radiance. Her mahogany hair danced in the light breeze, teasing her shoulders, pleading with me to run my fingers through it. I itched to reach out and do just that – to feel her soft curls brush against my skin – but I somehow managed to refrain. Only just.

I was so engrossed in my fantasy that, when she startled suddenly, I did as well.

She had caught sight of her own reflection in the water.

"Bella?"

"What's wrong with my eyes?"

I could hear it in her tone. I could see it in her body language. She was unhinging again, like she did after she'd hunted the buck.

I was regretting the river being between us and the house. It was careless of me to create such distance when Bella's newborn emotions were still so volatile. I located Alice's inner voice, relieved to find that there were no visions of catastrophe or chaos, but that only reduced my tension slightly. Her gift allowed too much room for error.

I would not be fully at ease until we were back at home.

"Bella, please listen to me. There is nothing wrong with your eyes."

"They're red! Yours aren't red! I look— I look like a monster!"

I winced. "You're not a monster, Bella. The red is temporary, only because your own human blood lingers in your tissues. In time – within five to six months – your eyes will change, provided…"

My sentence remained unfinished. Without warning, or forethought, apparently, Bella took off.

There was no way she could outrun me. I caught up to her easily, keeping pace beside her. She growled and altered her course slightly.

"Bella, don't do this. Talk to me."

"Go away!" she snarled. She took a haphazard swing at me, but I dodged it effortlessly.

"I can't do that," I told her calmly. I could hear my siblings gaining on us.

_Sorry. She decided in a split second._

I figured as much.

_Are we going to Canada? Just take her down!_

"Only as a last resort," I snapped at Emmett. I would not physically subdue her unless I had no other choice. I was hoping to reason with her. "Bella," I tried again, "why are you running?"

"I don't know! Leave me alone!"

"If you don't know, then please just stop. Talk to me. Let me help you."

"You can't help! You already tried and you failed!"

_She doesn't mean it, Edward!_

"I know," I sighed. Knowing did not lessen the sting, though. "I'm sorry I failed you before, but I won't fail you again. I promise. Please stop."

She slowed. The difference was almost imperceptible, but it was enough to spur hope.

"Bella, I will help you through this," I whispered. She slowed a little more. I offered her my hand.

She reached for it, but this time, the electricity didn't intrigue her. It frightened her. She jerked her hand away and sped up again, changing directions radically.

_She's headed straight for _their_ land now. If she gets there…_

I shuddered to think.

_If you're worried that she'll hate you, let me do it. I'll be careful, Edward, I swear._

Reluctantly, I nodded my consent to Emmett, creating a few feet of space for him to work within.

As I knew he would, he took her down cleanly and efficiently. Alice and I slowed to a stop before circling back.

Bella struggled under his weight, angry and snarling – the absolute depiction of a wild, crazed newborn.

"Bella…" I used the gentlest tone I could muster. "Stop."

She didn't. She was past hearing me. Her survival instincts had kicked in. We could do nothing but wait it out now.

Alice and I both sat on the ground nearby, helplessly watching as Bella thrashed for freedom. Her shrieks and growls echoed around us, stilling the wildlife for miles.

_I don't think she realizes her own strength yet. I'm barely exerting myself here._

"Don't become complacent," I warned my brother. Then I sighed before addressing Bella once again. "For how long will you do this? Hours? Days? You need to calm down now."

"You need to leave me alone!" she spat. "Go away!"

"I'm not going to do that."

"You did before!"

_She's scared, Edward. She thinks you're going to leave her._

But she was demanding I leave. Were all women so contradictory, or was it just Bella?

"That was a mistake," I admitted. "One I will not be repeating."

She stopped thrashing and her eyes narrowed on me. I met her intense glare passively.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked. "Who am I to you?"

_Not yet, Edward. It's too soon._

I didn't need my sister's advice that time. I knew better than to answer that question with total honesty. Instead, I went with a version of the truth.

"Why do you not want to hunt humans?" I asked in return. Her anger faded; shock and confusion took its place. "Are you the only one allowed to feel compassion? I'm doing this because I want to help you. Whether you choose to believe it or not, you do need help, Bella."

She exhaled heavily, her eyes now avoiding mine. "I don't want to hunt animals, either."

She circumvented most of what I had said, but at least she was talking. "It is a necessary part of survival."

"What would happen if I didn't? Would I… die?"

Did she want to die? Terror filled me. "No," I answered truthfully, hiding my fear, "but the lack of sustenance would weaken you horribly."

"I would rather be weak than a murderer of defenseless animals," she muttered, holding onto a shred of her irritation. She squirmed halfheartedly for a moment before falling still again.

_She could be a spokesperson for PETA._

I shot Emmett a discreet warning glance. There was nothing humorous about this situation. If Bella could not be reasonable, she would not only grow weaker, but she would also become more erratic. Newborns were unstable enough without adding further complications. They were insane with thirst when feeding often. To deny her body what it needed – what it craved; though animal blood was a less appealing substitute for human blood – would be inviting mayhem.

"Not all animals are defenseless," I mentioned carefully. The thirsty vampire that she was took interest in that. Of course she was thirsty. One buck was hardly enough to sate a newborn. "Some animals are ruthless predators, stalking and killing the docile deer of the forest."

Perhaps it was despicable of me to play on her odd sympathies, but I wasn't above being despicable just then. I wanted Bella to feed properly.

"You would be doing the deer a favor, and you wouldn't have to be in pain anymore. Doesn't your throat burn with need?"

_Edward? Are you insane?_

My sister might have been right. I might well have been completely insane. I was conducting a dangerous experiment; the equivalent of poking the beast with a stick.

Bella hissed involuntarily, a low roar rumbling from deep within her. She was in the right frame of mind now. I grabbed her hand, signaled to Emmett to release her, and when he did, I took off running.

"Stay close," I called out to my siblings. Their thoughts assured me that they would.

Thankfully, Bella did not fight me. She held my hand tightly – perhaps a little too tightly, but I wasn't about to ask that she loosen her grip – and matched my strides. There was no trace of curiosity in her expression. She was of one thought; one raw, instinctual thought. She was a huntress.

She was magnificent.

I knew exactly where to go. It was a preferred place to hunt for my favorite prey. I'd been there innumerable times, both in recent years and in decades past, but never had I been so excited to share it with another.

If my experiment proved successful, Bella and I would be visiting often in the coming months.

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

Okay, so, what's the verdict? Is it sucking yet?

Responses:

Birdwoman95: Yes, I imagined the nomad as being James. As for Victoria (and/or Laurent), I haven't made a concrete decision on that possible element yet.

AJ04-Jtrs98: Neurotic babbling! LOL! Yeah, you're not the first to say something similar. (grin)

To those who have asked: Still not smoking. It has been nine weeks since my last cigarette! Mini-wave in celebration!

Big bunches of luv and huggles to my beta, Kristy!

And thanks to everyone who took the time to review! I very much appreciate it! If you continue the love, I will continue to be appreciative. (smile)

MTLBYAKY


	6. Chapter 5

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Five

By: Jana~

**XXX**

I had never truly seen or appreciated the beauty in hunting before. It was just a necessary aspect of my existence. I hunted to survive, and then I found what little interest I could in other pursuits so that my time might otherwise be occupied.

But watching Bella as she gracefully leapt through the air, moving from tree to tree before landing squarely on the majestic feline as he crouched…

He was unaware of our presence, his own prey in his sights…

They tumbled from his perch to the forest floor, his sharp cries and then growls of protest silencing quickly as Bella sunk her teeth into his jugular and drained his will to fight.

I could finally, after all my decades, see the beauty in what I had always considered to be an uncivilized act of necessity. Even with her inexperience, she truly was magnificent.

I dropped out of the tree, my eyes fixed on her, gesturing blindly to Emmett and Alice to remain back for the moment. I wasn't sure how she would react once she became cognizant again, and I didn't want her to feel crowded.

_So far so good, but I still say you're completely insane. Next time you feel like provoking the irrational newborn, wait for Jazz?_

Not wanting my voice to startle Bella as she fed, I only nodded in response to Alice's thoughts.

This was an acknowledgement, though, not an agreement. Jasper didn't seem to be able to do much more than take the edge off of certain emotions, and only when they were not at the extreme. Was she somehow blocking his gift – unknowingly, I was sure – like she was mine?

How? How was it possible for her, without even trying, to block me from reading her mind? How was she able to block Jasper from effectively easing or directing her moods? The curiosity was like a festering wound, commanding my attention. Attention that I could not pay, as it was needed elsewhere currently.

Bella had drained the animal dry, but she was too far gone, lost in a frenzy, to realize it. Pulling at the carcass, her teeth released, only to clench down elsewhere in a desperate attempt to find more.

"Bella…"

Her eyes snapped up to me and she snarled, protective of her kill.

"If you're still thirsty, we'll find you another one."

The crazed look in her eyes softened a little. Her hair was wild, leaves and twigs adorning it. Her shirt had a rip in it near the shoulder, allowing a beautiful patch of skin to be visible. There was a small trickle of blood near her lips, taunting me to remove it with my tongue.

She was spectacular.

She pushed the animal aside and stood, slowly, as if she wasn't sure of how to behave in the wake. Heedfully, I watched for signs of shock or guilt, but neither made any play for show. More than anything, she seemed perplexed.

"It tried to kill me."

I almost laughed with the relief I felt. I had poked the beast with a stick and was actually rewarded for my foolishness. Not only had Bella hunted without remorse, but my siblings and I had escaped her newborn frenzy unscathed.

Emmett was somewhat disappointed by this. He was rarely given the opportunity to flex his muscles – the only exception being when he would hunt bear – and he had been hoping for the excitement of a scuffle. I would explain to him later how I was very much against him scuffling with Bella.

"To be fair, you tried to kill him first," I said lightly. It seemed best to keep things light. "How do you feel?"

"I don't know. It still itches a little." She scowled with the discomfort as her hand cupped her throat.

"Yes, I'm sorry, animal blood doesn't completely quench the burn. Only human blood does." Bella tensed, though in want or disgust I wasn't sure. I was unwilling to find out by chance. She seemed in control of herself, but I wasn't comfortable with pushing her any further at that moment. I had pushed her enough for one day. "And we don't hunt humans," I added firmly, to either reassure her or dissuade her, whichever.

Her hand dropped from her neck, a flicker of comprehension in her eyes. I had reached her. Bella, the sensible, had returned. The newborn was sated… for now. The scavengers of the forest could have what remained of her kill. I offered her my hand and, when she took it, I led her away.

Once again, she reacted to the arc of electricity, but unlike before, I did not. I feigned indifference, then set out at a run and headed for home.

My actions were not meant to be unkind, however. Despite Alice's earlier advice, I wanted to acknowledge it. I wanted to take her into my arms and explain it – tell her it was mutual – but my concerns were growing. How much more could her trauma afflicted mind handle? I would not risk her mental wellbeing to learn the answer. Until I spoke with Carlisle, no further lessons would be taught.

She was silent for the entirety of the trip, her eyes narrowed, her brow furrowed, her lips set into a thin line. Was she upset about something? I thought of asking, but before I could, we were home. She yanked her hand away from mine and stormed into the house. The last step creaked under the force of her footfalls.

I turned to Alice and Emmett as they approached; they arrived just after Bella and I had. Emmett laughed, passing me by and heading into the house.

_Get used to it, kid._

Helpful, Emmett, thank you. I faced Alice, hoping for some insight. She rolled her eyes as she passed me as well.

_You couldn't tell her?_

"Tell her what?" I called after her. She scoffed and kept walking. Her thoughts spun like webs, intricate designs meant to deflect me. It was her unique way of blocking me.

I didn't understand why she was, but I had no time to spend on deciphering my sister's riddles. I needed to speak with Carlisle before he left to attend his shift at the hospital. I darted inside and up the stairs to his study.

_Come in, Edward, please._

I heard my father's thoughts, inviting me in before I even had the chance to knock. He was expecting me. Still, I opened the door and entered slowly, out of respect.

_Just let me finish, and we'll go._

"Go?" I asked. His mind wasn't on a trip.

_Hunting._

I was just about to protest – I didn't want to leave Bella, especially if she was upset with me for some reason – but he stopped me.

"Edward." _It's been a while. You had already gone too long the day you found Bella, and you haven't left her side since then. You cannot neglect your own needs for hers, son. Besides…_ He closed his laptop and stood from behind his desk. _I think it would be unwise for Bella to overhear our conversation. It might upset her._

I didn't want that. Of course I didn't. I attempted to pinpoint the details of the subject he wished to discuss with me, but he was heavily considering other things. He was blocking me, but why? "Won't you be late?" I questioned him.

He knew what I was doing. I was trying to create a break in his wall of thoughts, to get to the ones beneath them – the ones of importance – but through the years, he had become proficient in obstructing me. His barrier held firm.

_I called, informing them that I would be. This is important._

I felt afraid, truly afraid, for the first time in decades. When one is nearly indestructible, one doesn't usually fear much. But with my father's vague remarks, combined with his blocking me from reading his thoughts…

"Carlisle, please, is she…? Is there something…?" I was at a loss for words, unable to find a way to pose my questions. If there was anything seriously wrong with her, I was certain I would not remain mentally stable.

_Son, relax. _ He smiled as he put an arm around me; a fatherly gesture I had always found comforting. _She's wonderful, isn't she? Intelligent, compassionate… feisty._

I grinned. She _was_ wonderful. She was perfect. Now if we could just get past the little problem of her hating me.

My grin twisted and downturned.

_Such anguish…_ He sighed, and with his hand still upon my shoulder, he led me toward the door. _Have you no hope at all of a happy ending?_

Did I have hope? Could a monster even hope to have some version of happily ever after? It seemed like too much to reach for, and yet, I wanted it. I was sure I didn't deserve it, but I wanted it all the same.

I waited until we were away from the house and out of earshot before answering him.

"I hope for it," I admitted, "but should I?"

"You know my answer to that question. Why must you punish yourself, son? You are the only one who has not forgiven you for your rebellious period."

"That's not true…"

"You _are_ worthy of happiness," he insisted, interrupting me.

"The Fates don't think so. Clearly, _they_ have not forgiven me. And now they're trying to taunt Bella, simply because of my affection for her."

"How is Bella being taunted?"

"Her feeling remorseful for hunting a deer to survive?" I asked challengingly, citing the first point in my argument.

"She's compassionate. That will help her adjust to this alternative lifestyle."

"Her amnesia?" I cited as my second point. I would not be citing any others. My father's thoughts raced and jumbled, making them difficult to read. Difficult, but not impossible. A tiny fissure in his constructed blockade had allowed me just enough access to discern the subject matter. "What? What about her amnesia?"

"We shouldn't rule out anything just yet, but I'm wondering if her amnesia and your inability to read her mind are somehow connected."

"How might they be connected? When her memories return, would I then be able to read her?" I asked hopefully.

"I don't believe so. The amnesia is not the cause, but an effect, a symptom, like blocking your gift and severely limiting Jasper's."

I had been right about Jasper's influence over Bella. When we were out hunting the mountain lion, he spoke with Carlisle about it, frustrated over his ineffectiveness. "Then what is the cause?"

"I'm not sure. I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but I need more time… more information…"

He trailed off, still attempting to guard his thoughts, but I was just able to glean a name before he pushed it from his mind. "Eleazar? What about him?"

He sighed. "I wanted to wait to bring him up, to have this conversation, until after you hunted…"

That was why he was blocking me.

"I would like to put in a call to Eleazar, invite him here for a visit, but I wanted to ask you first before doing so. I know how you feel about his former position with the Volturi. I wouldn't be asking if I didn't feel it would be immensely helpful to us. To _Bella_."

"You think her amnesia is the effect of an ability?"

This was an intriguing consideration. What gift could block me, limit Jasper, but seemingly have no consequence to Alice, and cause amnesia?

"I believe it could be, yes. That is why I would like to confer with Eleazar."

My father was right about my feelings toward Eleazar. I wished him no ill will – he was a kind man, and I hoped for nothing less than his peace and contentment – but he was not someone I wholly trusted. His ability to determine gifts amongst our kind, and potential gifts in humans were they to be changed, granted him a position of importance with the Volturi for a great many years. Would a well placed call from Aro, requesting Eleazar's return to his guard, be met by a refusal or an acceptance? I was unwilling to wager Bella's detection on the answer, especially if she had a gift. Aro coveted those with abilities. I would not allow him to desire Bella in any manner.

"I hold no animosity toward Eleazar, but I would still rather he not know of Bella, or of any gift she might possess."

"Son, eventually, he will know of her. The Denali clan are our family. If she is to be your mate…"

Of course he was right. I couldn't hide her forever.

"Do you trust me, Edward?"

He knew I did. He asked because he was planning to test that trust. "Yes, of course."

"I know of your concerns, but I'm asking you to belay them. I'm asking for your confidence in this matter. I would never put Bella in harm's way, I hope you know that."

"I do know that, but I would like Bella to have a few more days, at least, before thrusting anything more upon her. She needs time to adjust to what she has already been given."

"Of course. I will leave the timing to your discretion."

My discretion would set that meeting years from now, possibly decades, but I could tell by Carlisle's thoughts that he had a nearer date in mind. Within weeks, a month at most.

I led the way as we tracked the scent of deer; my mouth filled with venom as a reminder of how long it had been.

"Three weeks," I said. "Tentatively. If I feel she's not ready…"

"No one will force her, Edward, I promise. Three weeks is reasonable. Thank you."

I didn't want to be reasonable, and I didn't want his gratitude. I just wanted to hunt so I could get back home, not that I was expecting a warm welcome. When we were leaving, as we passed the living room, the tenor of my siblings' thoughts was less than pleasant. From Rosalie, this did not surprise me, but Alice, too, seemed annoyed with me. Emmett was finding it all amusing, which had me annoyed with him.

Tensions would be elevated upon my return, I was sure of it. What had I done? I tried to recall some action, some word or comment, but could think of nothing to warrant Bella's mood, or their reproach of me for that mood.

Whatever I did, I would make amends in any way that I could.

I was feeling rather contrite, until the closer we got to the house. The overall atmosphere seemed somewhat jovial. Even Rosalie seemed in better spirits than she had been in days. Bella was… happy? Laughing? I picked up speed and left my father behind.

_Edward? What is it?_

I didn't answer him. I flew through the door moments later and into the living room; the happier mood dissipated instantly as the four occupants registered my presence.

Rosalie was glaring, her thoughts as hostile as her expression. Alice looked at me with both confusion and pity, as if I had lost my mind and she was desperate to help me find it. Bella was avoiding my eyes, her gaze instead locked on the game controller she held in her hands.

Emmett's thoughts were the most enlightening. I could see how I looked to him – to all of them – primal and angry and ready to defend the claim I had staked.

_Hey, I just started playing, and she started telling me what to do, so I told her to put up or shut up, and then she joined in... It was innocent!_

I continued to glare at him. He had no idea why I was upset. His thoughts weren't even close to hitting the mark. I knew he wasn't trying to claim Bella for himself. He had Rosalie.

_Just claim her already. Jealousy doesn't suit you._

I growled, irritated by his assumption. I wasn't jealous. Well, no, admittedly, that wasn't true, but I wasn't for the reasons he believed I was.

Emmett had tackled and pinned Bella twice, something she clearly had not enjoyed, yet she so easily forgave him. It was so easy for her to join him in his fun, laughing and happy.

I wanted to be the one she was happy with. I wanted to be the one who made her laugh.

My father had entered the house then and was standing behind me, his thoughts heavy with concern.

_Edward, perhaps you should find a place of calm before this escalates any further._

As I allowed his advice to settle me, I realized that I had been tense, tightly coiled, at the ready to attack my own brother, whose only crime was including Bella in his childish videogames.

I straightened my posture, gathering the small amount of dignity that I could. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

I tuned out their thoughts – my father's concern, Emmett's forgiveness, Rosalie's censure, Alice's visions – and escaped to the one place that could offer me the peace I needed to find.

This room did not offer me solitude, but it did offer me harmony. _And melody_, I thought wryly.

I approached the grand instrument and grazed my fingers along the sleek finish of the wood. _It's been a little while, my friend, hasn't it?_

It seemed to hum in agreement. I took my seat, placed my hands upon the ivory, and gave myself over to the music.

The tune relaxed me, helping to put my thoughts into perspective. Emmett was right. Not about claiming Bella right now – that would need to wait until we were both ready – but about the jealousy. As well as it not suiting me, it was a painful emotion that was completely unnecessary. No one would steal Bella from me. They were all mated, anyway.

In time, if she wanted me as I did her, she would be mine.

"Wow, you're really good."

My hands froze over the keys. I had been so focused on playing, and on my rumination, that I did not hear her enter.

"I didn't mean to disturb you. Please, don't stop."

The thought of playing for her had my entire body tingling with excitement. I resumed, but I did not continue with the song I had been playing. I began a different one. One that I had been composing for the past three days. One that she inspired. It was the first time being heard outside my own head.

Now that I knew she was there, I could hear her soft footsteps shuffling into the room.

"You know you're brilliant, right? You must have taken lessons for a lot of years, to get this good."

My pride swelled in response to her praise. I had received similar compliments before from others, but coming from her, it meant so much more. It meant everything.

"Self taught," I shared, "though it did take a few decades to master."

"Decades? How old are you?"

My answer was automatic. "Seventeen."

"Huh. I would have guessed nineteen. I'm older than you." This seemed noteworthy to her for some reason. "But, no, I meant, how old are you _really_? Like, when were you… changed?"

I was nervous to admit my true age – the years between us might have been disconcerting to her – but I found myself being honest despite my apprehension. "Nineteen-eighteen."

My answer did not seem to trouble her, but rather, she almost seemed to be expecting it.

She hummed in response, and then she asked, "May I?" as she gestured to the empty space beside me on the bench seat.

Joy overflowed, almost overwhelming me. She wanted to join me, to take pleasure in the music while in my company. "Of course."

She sat cautiously, inching onto the bench just enough so that she would not fall off the edge. I considered moving closer to her, subtly, but I didn't wish to make her uncomfortable. She already seemed to be, though I wasn't sure why she would be. We had been in such close proximity before, earlier in the evening, when watching the sky out by the river.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." She could ask me everything – every question in all the world – and while I most likely would not have all the answers, I would happily listen to her pose them for the rest of my eternity.

"Don't laugh at me, okay?"

Why would I laugh at her? Was this a genuine concern of hers? "I would never."

"How come I could see my reflection earlier? I thought vampires couldn't cast reflections. Or is that just in mirrors?"

Interesting. Before, when she asked me about sunlight, I had hidden my amusement from her. Or so I thought. Had she picked up on it, anyway, despite my attempt to hide it from her? Was that why she had asked me not to laugh?

"That is just a myth," I explained. "In reality, we cast reflections. We also photograph."

"Huh." She seemed to consider that for a moment. "What else is a myth?"

I grinned, a game of sorts coming to mind. "Why don't you ask, and I will answer."

"You won't laugh at me?"

This was clearly worrying her. I would swallow any sign of mirth at all costs. "I promise I won't laugh, Bella."

"Okay." She hesitated for a long few seconds. "Um, garlic?"

"Myth."

"Holy water?"

"Would get us just as wet as any other form of water."

She chortled. I had made her laugh! It was slight, but my dead heart thrilled at the sound of it.

"Sleeping in coffins?"

"Myth. We don't sleep."

She startled. "Ever? I'm never going to get tired?"

Was this thought distressing to her? I couldn't tell by her tone. "No, you will never get tired."

"Huh. Okay."

She fell silent then. I wanted more than anything to ask her to continue – to ask her what she was thinking – but I refrained. I needed to be patient. Allow her time to absorb all of this new information. When she was ready to, she would speak.

I brought the song to an end, immediately considering what I might play next. I was hoping to keep her seated beside me a little longer. The way she watched my fingers glide across the ivory; the way she had started to inch closer to me subconsciously; I was in heaven.

And then I plummeted back to earth. Of course she noticed. I was all but a snarling beast.

"Why were you so angry with Emmett? What did he do that was so horrible?"

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

Not beta-ed. Hopefully, the mistakes are minimal.

Okay, so, how are we feeling about things now? Still liking it okay? Starting to suck? Should I continue? Let me know.

So many wonderful reviews for the last chapter! Wow. Just, wow. Thank you so much!

A couple of shout-outs:

Motherthing: LOL, yeah, sorry. This chapter is a little longer. Hope that helps the 'literary coitus interruptus'. (smile)

ADarnell: LOL, excellent. Glad you are. I'm still writing. As long as people want to read, I'll write!

Nena1981: Initially, I just thought you meant that at face value, but then I learned that the actor who plays Emmett is actually a spokesperson for PETA. I did not know this when I wrote the line, I swear! I laughed hard when I read that, and then thought of your review!

AJ04-Jtrs98: Thanks! I'm glad you are. Your reviews always cheer me. Thanks for that, too.

Cullen Confection: Thank you! I appreciate that. And, actually, I sent you a private message some time ago (September 20), but never received a response. I'm hoping it was just overlooked, and that I didn't break some rule of etiquette by contacting you in that manner. I apologize if I did.

To everyone else: Thank you for your reviews and encouragement. It's appreciated more than you know.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, and MTLBYAKY


	7. Chapter 6

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Six

By: Jana~

**XXX**

She was waiting for an answer. Unfortunately, the only one I had to give her would expose me for the ill-tempered monster that I was.

_I wanted to rip my brother's arm off and hit him with it repeatedly, because no one is allowed to make you laugh but me._

If I were to say that, she would think of me as a possessive lunatic. She would be right, but I didn't want her to think it. And I didn't want to be it. I wanted to be better than that. I wanted to be worthy of her affection. Perhaps I never would be, but I had to try.

"I was angry with Emmett unjustly. I complicated something simple. I apologize if my actions frightened you."

"You didn't frighten me," she said. I wasn't so sure I believed that. With the way she had stared down at her game controller, frozen in place, I was fairly certain that I had. "I just thought you were upset with me again."

She imagined I was angry with her? How had I managed to leave her with that impression?

"I wasn't upset with you, Bella. I was never upset with you." The same could not be said of myself. How many indefensible acts had I committed since first catching her scent in the clearing? I had lost count.

"But, before… You were… Did I do something wrong?"

Her incomplete sentences were bordering on maddening. What was I before? In what way had I implied that she had done something wrong? I could think of nothing, no word or action, to explain her assumptions.

Since I had no idea of what she was referring to, I offered her an all-inclusive reassurance.

"You're a newborn, Bella. Newborns tend to become irrational with nominal provocation. Your behaviors aren't wrong, they are expected."

_Idiot. She's looking for your approval, you clueless sack of stupid._

Rosalie's insults were really getting on my nerves. But I guessed that, in her own crude way, she was trying to be helpful. It made sense, actually. I was Bella's teacher. Of course she would want a positive word from me after the day she'd had. Like a child hoping for a good grade on a difficult school assignment they had completed.

"You did very well today, Bella. I was impressed."

I was more than just impressed, I was awestruck, aroused by her beauty and prowess. I was no better than a horny miscreant, fantasizing about taking her into my arms and making her mine.

"I ripped my shirt," she said quietly, her gaze lowering to her lap. "Alice gave me a new one."

Did she feel guilty for this common occurrence? She would ruin many articles of clothing before she became proficient at hunting. It was to be expected. "That happens rather frequently," I assured her.

She looked up, staring, as if trying to determine something. "If I did okay, then why were you distant afterwards?"

Distant?

Distant. My unresponsiveness earlier, when I took her hand… She assumed it meant something else. She thought I was upset with her, or disappointed in her, perhaps.

"I wasn't intentionally distancing myself from you, Bella. I apologize if it seemed that I was. I was never upset with you," I repeated.

"You were a little bit, after I ran off."

Remorse again. Her eyes continued to avoid mine as she picked at nothing on her jeans.

"I promise you, I was not. I was… concerned." That was an understatement. She needed protecting, not only from herself, but from all other dangers that might have developed. If she had happened upon a human, or had ended up on Quileute land…

"I don't know why I did that. I knew it wouldn't do any good."

She did it because the sight of herself frightened her. She saw herself as a monster. The pain of that, knowing that was what she thought, still stung.

"You panicked." Her fleeing was the result; nothing more, nothing less.

She shrugged. "Yeah. Sorry. It freaked me out."

"You think you freaked out!" Emmett exclaimed, his voice carrying from the living room easily. Of course I'd known he was eavesdropping, I just wasn't expecting him to involve himself in the conversation. "Last thing I remembered, an angry bear was ripping me a new hole! Then, after I don't even know how many days of burning hell, I wake up, and everything is fine, except it's not. And there were all these crazy people I didn't know telling me stuff, like that they're vampires, and I was one, too! It took all four of them to pin me down!"

"Okay," Bella replied, smirking, "but did you have amnesia?"

"Uh, no."

Emmett viewed this as a defeat, like he had lost a game that they were playing.

"I did," Alice chimed in.

Bella took immediate interest in that. "You did?"

Maybe she needed to talk to someone who could relate to her unique set of circumstances? Though Alice's situation, when she was changed, wasn't exactly the same.

"Yep." _Edward, bring her back out. We'll all have a little chat._

Alice's idea was a good one. We could all share with Bella, and then she would see that, in time, her existence would not be so unpredictable. We could assure her that the newborn phase doesn't last forever. That we had all been there, and her volatility was nothing to feel shame or guilt for.

I offered her my hand, smiling as she accepted it. I didn't feign indifference this time. She misunderstood me earlier when I had done so, and I didn't want there to be any more misunderstandings between us. Instead, I stared deep into her eyes and gave her a subtle nod of acknowledgement as I helped her to stand. Let her see a glimpse of the truth from that small gesture.

_I feel it, too, Bella. When you're ready…_

We took a seat on the couch, together, when joining my siblings in the living room. As we settled in, she released her hold on my hand, but we were near enough to each other that our bodies were still in contact.

Close proximity to her was like a reward in Heaven. A reward I would strive every day to earn, by any means necessary.

"My amnesia was a little different from yours," Alice continued. "I could remember my name, but almost nothing else. And unlike my siblings, I woke up alone, in an abandoned shack in the middle of nowhere. If it wasn't for my visions, I wouldn't have known what I was, or how to even survive."

"Visions?"

She was asking for an explanation, but it seemed too soon to give her one. I had to tell her something, though. It had already been said, and I didn't want to lie. She would never grow to trust me if she learned that I had lied to her.

Alice's indecision on the matter was not helpful. She could see no outcome either way.

_Sorry._

I scowled in her direction before facing Bella. "Some will find, upon waking, that they have… abilities. Gifts. Alice is one such someone."

Her expression was hard to read, but her entire body tensed. "Visions. You know the future."

This was not asked but stated – like a fact she had just pieced together – quietly and to herself. She seemed unnerved by it, but Alice's mind was devoid of any and all future reactions Bella might have. Which meant she wasn't sure how to feel. Perhaps she was waiting for more information before making a decision on whether or not to panic.

If I worded that information carefully, I could maybe prevent a negative overreaction.

"She can only see glimpses of possible outcomes. No one can know the future, because the future isn't set in stone. It can be changed."

Alice did not appreciate my devaluing her gift, but she understood why I had done so. She saw Bella tense as well. She had been given too much to absorb in too short an amount of time. And while Carlisle's thoughts held no deep concern for Bella's mental wellbeing, I did not ask him outright if there should be a limit set for what I taught her and when, like I had planned to. I would rectify that as soon as I was able. Until then…

"Does this worry you?" I asked her. I needed her to talk to me. If I could just know what was on her mind, I could respond accordingly, assuring and calming.

"I don't know. Should it?"

She was genuinely asking me. She wanted my opinion. If I felt it was a worrisome situation, why would I speak of it indifferently?

"No, it shouldn't worry you."

Bella glanced up at Alice through her eyelashes, as if suddenly bashful or embarrassed. "You know _my_ future, or possible future."

"Yes," Alice answered; I immediately shot her a warning glare. _Relax, Edward, sheesh! I know not to say anything! I'm the one who keeps telling _you_ to wait!_

That might be, but she had slipped and mentioned her gift in the first place. Reminding her, it seemed, was not just a sensible precaution, but a necessary one.

"I do," Alice added, "but it would be better if I didn't tell you. It's not a good idea to know too much about one's own future."

I fought back a smirk. If that were true, I was in serious trouble, more so than I already was.

My sister knew where my thoughts were. We locked eyes briefly in amused understanding.

Bella pouted, disappointed. "I just wanted to know if I'll ever be okay."

She sounded so sad and frustrated. Any humor I had felt dissolved into a pang of guilt.

"Bella, you _are_ okay." My insistence was not enough to convince her.

"I don't feel okay. I feel lost. I can't remember things I know I should, and I feel like… like I'm about to go insane at any moment."

I wanted so badly to take her into my arms and comfort her, but would she have allowed it? I decided not to risk it. Alice's visions were sketchy right then, mostly revolving around Jasper.

"Your memories will come back to you, I promise." Since Carlisle felt confident of that, I had no qualms making her such a guarantee. "The loss is temporary, as is your… insanity."

"You're not insane." Rosalie glared at me, riled by my use of the word. "I know it feels like it, but trust me, you're not. We all went through this. It passes."

My sister's uncommonly altruistic thoughts surprised me. She was actually feeling sympathy for Bella. She was still pissed as hell at me, but she continued to guard the reasons why she was. I didn't care, nor was I even curious enough to delve any deeper.

I was grateful for her encouraging words, though. Bella's tension had eased considerably.

Unfortunately, Alice's had soared. She could see Jasper on his way home from hunting, and he was being followed.

"Who is it?" I asked. "Anyone we know?"

She focused then on the stranger's face. "I don't recognize her."

I did. Her likeness had flashed briefly in the mind of the nomadic vampire that had attacked and changed Bella. This woman was his mate.

And she wasn't alone. We outnumbered them, but a fight was not what any of us wanted.

The woman's thoughts were just starting to become readable as Jasper flew through the door.

He pulled Alice into his arms. "You know?" he asked her.

"Of course."

"Two of them. Their moods weren't exactly friendly, so I hightailed it out of there."

This was not a cowardly action. Jasper could have braved both nomads and lived to tell the tale without question. He was looking to avoid a confrontation.

"Two of our kind?" Emmett asked. "What do they want?"

"They're looking for someone." I did not want to mention who the someone was out loud. I was worried that it would frighten Bella. My siblings seemed to understand that. All except for Emmett.

"Who are they looking for?"

I rolled my eyes and ignored his question. They were almost to the house, anyway. I didn't want them to overhear our conversation.

The man's thoughts held no animosity. He was merely curious, and was only with the woman for as long as it was beneficial to him in some way. There were no loyalties assumed. He considered himself without a coven; a true nomad.

The woman would be more problematic. She did not suspect us of any wrongdoing, but her mind was sharp and cynical by nature. She would catch any slip.

Protectively, I redirected Bella to the back of the living room, to stand next to Rosalie. I wanted as little attention brought to her as possible.

I wanted to be the one to stand beside her and comfort her – I could tell she was nervous – but my family's thoughts were all in agreement. With Carlisle having already left for the hospital, they felt that I should be the spokesperson for our coven.

My gift gave me an advantage that the others did not have. I always knew instantly how to respond to thwart suspicion, not only because I could read minds, but because I could also see Alice's visions and read the emotions Jasper picked up on. Emmett referred to this as a triple threat.

He flanked me as we approached the door while Alice and Jasper were behind us and to the right. Esme joined us from upstairs after hearing our discussion. She stood beside Bella opposite Rosalie.

It was less than three minutes after Jasper had arrived home that the nomads appeared, ghosting up the front steps and knocking.

They both began to assay us, the man defensively, the woman offensively, as I greeted them with well faked politeness.

"Hello. I am Laurent…" His accent reflected French origins. "And this is Victoria. We were traveling with a third, James, but he seems to have come up missing. We were wondering if you've seen him."

He spoke as if he was the coven leader, but he wasn't, and had never been. James was, before three days ago. Victoria felt that role was hers in his absence, but allowed Laurent to act the part, since she wasn't as proficient at pleasantries.

"You are the first of our kind we have seen in a while," I lied smoothly.

"You live here?" Victoria asked.

Her thoughts were filled with bitter confusion. She could not understand why we would choose to live as we did, in a home, with civility. It went against all she knew and valued.

"Yes." Since she wasn't interested in an explanation, I didn't bother extending her one.

Jasper, however, always military minded, decided on a different strategy. "This is our _permanent_ residence."

The implication was clear; this was _our_ territory, and they were trespassing. The intended effect had been accomplished. Though neither of them acknowledged it out loud, they had both caught on.

Laurent was only interested in leaving then. He felt they had outstayed their welcome, which was true before they had even arrived, but Victoria's curiosity had not yet been satisfied.

Leaning a little, she looked past me and into the house, her thoughts betraying each tactical assessment she'd made. She seemed to have an extraordinary sense of self-preservation; the ability to detect and escape danger against incredible odds.

She was attempting to determine what potential threat each of us posed to her when the brighter red of Bella's eyes registered. Glaring, I stepped into her line of sight.

"You have a newborn. Adding to your ranks?"

I growled in response, tense and ready to defend what was mine. She wasn't interested in Bella specifically – she didn't know that her mate had created her – but I still felt threatened. Her thoughts were malicious.

_Weird reaction. Too intense. He's hiding something. Creating an army? What for? Or maybe she's his mate. She's clearly his weakness. Good to know. Wonder if he's hers._

Laurent was not unaffected by my display of hostility like Victoria was. He held his hands up in a submissive, peaceful gesture and took two steps back.

"We didn't come looking for a fight. We'll go now. Victoria…"

She ignored his cue, watching me intently before slipping an eerie grin into her expression. "We'll be moving along, out of your territory, as soon as I find my mate. The sooner we find him, the sooner we'll leave."

She didn't believe we had anything to do with James' disappearance, she was merely taunting me. Somehow, she knew I wasn't the coven leader, and found there to be entertainment value in trying to provoke me.

"Maybe he's moved on without you," Emmett suggested firmly. He could be very intimidating when he wanted to be, even to our kind. "Maybe you should move on, too, and go look for him."

The smile she forced was meant to be genial, but held noticeable malice behind it. "We'll take that into consideration."

Alice's vision showed her leaving without incident, so I merely stared back at her, unflinching, and waited for that moment. She didn't want to be the one to look away first, feeling it would have established her as the weaker of the two of us. I almost caved, just to be done with her, but my stubborn nature refused to give her the satisfaction. That tiny victory might have led her to believe that she stood a chance against me. She didn't, but I didn't want to go through the trouble to prove it.

What I did want was for her to go away, which she finally did, after reluctantly tearing her confrontational gaze from mine. Her thoughts swirled around her loss of the tacit battle between us as she moved to catch up with Laurent.

_I never sensed any anger. They don't suspect us?_

"No." That was the truth, but the problem was far from resolved.

Laurent would not be an issue; he wouldn't be lingering much longer. He had grown tired of their games, and had been planning on separating from them shortly, anyway.

But until it was proven that her mate had left the area, she had no intention of leaving. Apparently, he had done this before. He considered it a sport; a twisted, almost cruel equivalent of Hide and Seek.

She was no better. She played cruel games as well, which often involved her making him jealous by being with human men in the most perverted of ways. And then they would torture the unsuspecting man and drain him.

Victoria and James – before his demise – were the worst kind of vampires. No respect for human life, even beyond seeing them as a food source. They tortured their victims, relishing in their fear and pain before finally allowing them death.

Dread shot through me as I considered what James might have done to Bella before biting her, before she lost consciousness. Did he torture her? How horrifically did she suffer? When her amnesia lifted, would she remember? Were those the traumas that triggered her memory loss in the first place?

Suddenly, it seemed a blessing that she had amnesia, rather than a cruel infliction by the fates.

"The one they're looking for… James? He's the one that did this to me, right?"

Had Bella recalled that, or was it an astute observation? Watching her eyes, her expression, I guessed the latter. "Yes," I answered.

I could see the flash of fear. Even though her memories had not returned, her instincts were telling her to be afraid.

"And where is he now?" she asked.

"Dead. He can't hurt you ever again." I hoped that would bring her some solace, but it didn't seem to.

"But _she_ can, right?"

If the sadistic shrew tried to harm Bella in any way, she would meet the same end as her mate, by my own hand. "I won't let that happen. You're safe, I promise."

That was one promise I could make without reservation. For the rest of my existence, I would protect Bella Swan from whatever dangers might stalk her. I wasn't opposed to enlisting help in doing so, either.

Of course my family would flank me in battle, but the more we had in ranks, the more protection there would be. Not just for Bella, not just for my family, but for the tiny town of Forks as well. The vicious redhead wasn't a prudent hunter. Human life was at risk as long as she was in the area.

Alice knew what I was about to do, but her visions were expectedly hazy.

_I think it's a good idea, just be careful._

I gave my sister a subtle nod, assuring her that I would be. I understood why the mutts made her nervous. They blocked her gift. Not intentionally, but whenever she was around them, or they were involved in any way with what she was seeing, her visions dissolved, vanishing like smoke.

We had spent many a long evening trying to determine why this was, but we could never conclude a reason.

My gift, however, was not affected by them in any way. Ironically, because of that, I didn't particularly care for the mutts. I knew exactly what each one of them thought of us. Some were more hate-filled than others. One was actually pleasant, one was tolerable. Seth, the youngest in their pack, genuinely liked us. He thought we were interesting and, at times, humorous. Jacob, the alpha, was bearable.

He was not happy that we had moved back to Forks, but he upheld the treaty his grandfather, Ephraim Black, established, and he did so against his pack's squabbles. Despite the fact that he hated us, I had to admit, he was a fair leader. If I told him about Victoria, he might be willing to join forces with us to keep her from wreaking destruction upon the unsuspecting townsfolk.

I stood before Bella, fighting the urge to touch her. Just to brush my fingers softly across her cheek, or rake them gently into her hair. To say goodbye to her in a manner befitting how I felt.

"There is something I must tend to, but I won't be gone long."

Her eyes widened. "You're leaving?"

I could no longer find the strength to resist. Slowly, I reached out and cupped her face. Her hair swept against my fingers as I grazed my thumb along her cheekbone.

Her eyes grew wider, but the fear they held before had faded. She seemed bewildered, or so I guessed.

"I won't be long," I repeated. I would not have left at all, if not for the urgency of the situation.

Victoria's eyes had been nearly black with thirst. She would be hunting soon, and she had no interest in adhering to the rules of territorial rights. If someone didn't intervene, her next victim would be a citizen of Forks, Washington.

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter posted. Bad week for Jana. This week marks the sixth anniversary of when my husband left me, I found out my dad has cancer (curable, but still scary), and my best friend (in real life) is moving out of state this weekend.

I struggled hard with this chapter. There are parts that I like, but there are others that I'm still not exactly thrilled about. My beta says she doesn't see the problem, so I'm left to assume it's just me, being ultra critical of myself and seeing something that's not there.

At any rate, if you feel this chapter sucks, that's why, and I'm sorry.

Thanks for reading, and please review.

MTLBYAKY


	8. Chapter 7

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Seven

By: Jana~

**XXX**

Tracking the wolves by scent was an easy, albeit unpleasant task. Their revolting stench clung to the earth, creating a map of everywhere they had been in recent hours, sometimes days, if the rains were light. One only needed to follow it.

Which is what I did, through the forest and to a small neighborhood nestled on the outskirts.

Suddenly, I was blindsided by a wall of thoughts. A jumble of them, from multiple people, all in close proximity, most with the same person on their minds.

Bella.

I could see her from every conceivable angle, in every conceivable setting, as they remembered their time with her. In her home, in classrooms at school, at the local diner, in the hospital… scowling, laughing, eating, crying…

The accompanying wave of grief that struck me was incapacitating. Overwhelmed, I stumbled to a stop and dropped to my knees.

They were still searching for her. Carlisle had been right; without a body, Bella's father refused to give up. I had followed Jacob's scent straight to the Swan house, where a makeshift search and rescue command center had been established.

For some, the hope of finding her alive had been waning steadily as night fell on this, the third day since she had disappeared. Some felt the elements or the wildlife would have claimed her by now. Others held onto the possibility that she was still out there, trying to find her way home. They remembered past stories in the news, of others who had survived worse conditions for longer.

Even with those varying outlooks, all who were assisting in the effort to find Bella felt a great deal of empathy for her parents. Her mother, Renee, who had not been living with her – a somewhat recent change in a preexisting custody arrangement – had flown in from Arizona, needing to be close by when any word came in, good or bad. She had barely slept or eaten, and had been crying continually since arriving. Her father, Charlie, as he was the local chief of police, was all business, appearing stoic in the face of his personal crisis. But behind that veil, he was blaming himself. His self-torment included replaying his final words to her, over and over again inside his head.

"_I don't care if you're eighteen. If you live under my roof, you obey my rules. Go to school."_

Why he had said that to her was unclear. His thoughts were difficult to grasp, like sand slipping through my fingers. I got to my feet and inched closer to the perimeter, attempting to solidify the granules.

"You okay there, Jake?"

I was so focused on Charlie's puzzling mind, I hadn't realized that Jacob was standing right next to him.

"Shivered," Jacob answered, lying. He hadn't actually shivered, but had caught my scent and reacted noticeably. _What the hell is he doing here?_

"No wonder why. Don't you own a jacket?"

"Too cumbersome. I think I'm going to take a quick walk. Clear my head. I'll be back." _I know you're out there, Cullen. What are you doing sniffing around the Swan house?_

I couldn't answer him, not quietly enough so that the other humans wouldn't hear. I waited until he was farther in, almost to me. "Looking for you."

He nearly lost his footing coming to a stop, his head whipping around as he tried to locate me. _Why? Where are you?_

"Don't startle. I'm in the tree above you." The wolves were unpredictable. It seemed best to warn him. His eyes narrowed on me suspiciously when I landed right in front of him. "I'm not here for malicious reasons, Jacob."

"Out with it, Cullen. I need to get back so I can play my role in this nightmare."

"We have a problem that I wanted to make you aware of. The nomad that attacked Bella, he wasn't traveling alone. There are two others. The man, he won't be around for long. He's moving on soon, within a day or two at most. But the woman… she was his mate."

"So she's after revenge?"

"Not yet, but she will be once she learns of his death. Before then, she refuses to leave the area, and… She's dangerous, Jacob."

"Of course she is. She's a leech, isn't she?" The words corroded on his acidic tone.

"That aside, even for a vampire, she's dangerous. She's cruel and thirsty, and loose in Forks, with all these volunteers searching the dark woods."

That reached him. Concern replaced his judgmental irritation. "I'll get word out to the pack. We'll handle it from here."

His notions aggravated me. My grip on civility slipped just a little.

"We don't need you to handle it. I only wanted to make you aware. More of us on the lookout means more protection for everyone, including the people of Forks."

"Someone needs to handle it," he sneered. "You sure didn't."

He assumed I had the chance to kill her and didn't. He wasn't exactly wrong, but…

"There are rules of conduct. I read her thoughts, so I know what she is capable of, but thoughts are not actions. She had done nothing wrong."

"Whatever. We're done here."

He started to walk away before I could call his name.

"Jacob, wait, please. There is one other thing."

He turned and glared. "What? I need to get back."

"It's about Bella…"

The anger in his eyes melted a little. "What about her? Is she okay?"

"Yes, but she has amnesia. She can't remember who she is."

_I know what amnesia is. I'm not a moron. _His irritation had returned.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't implying…" I trailed off, sighing in frustration. "Is there anything you can tell me about her? Anything I can pass along that might help her regain her memories?"

More than a dozen images of Bella flashed through his mind, the last being of her in the clearing with me standing over her. He winced in response, his thoughts racing. "I don't have time for this, Cullen. Go pick through somebody else's brain."

His thoughts held a new form of resentment toward me.

"You agreed, Jacob. I asked your permission first."

"I know, and I stand by that decision, but you can't expect me to be happy about it."

No, I didn't expect him to be happy about it. He had essentially lost his best friend, someone who was like a sister to him. He was left to grieve with her family, knowing the truth but unable to speak of it. I could spend time with her while he could not.

He was jealous. He was in pain.

"I'm sorry. I wouldn't wish what you are going through on anyone, Jacob."

He scoffed, annoyed by my words of sympathy. "Sure, sure. Whatever. I gotta go." He only took a few steps. "She really has amnesia? Is that… normal?"

"There is no normal with this. It is not without precedent, though."

"Meaning, it happens sometimes, so there's nothing to worry about?"

"Yes. It's temporary, but she's frustrated. I would like to help her if possible."

He groaned, battling with his conscience. He didn't want to help me. He did, however, want to help Bella. "I have to get back. They'll wonder where I am. Meet me tomorrow at sunrise, five miles north of the clearing. They won't be searching there tomorrow."

"Thank you, Jacob."

"Sure, sure. Whatever." More flippant than angry, he dismissed my gratitude and jogged off, back toward the Swan residence.

As tempting as it was to follow him – to maybe decipher Charlie's mind, or pick through the other humans' brains, as Jacob had so eloquently put it – I decided it best to go home. I didn't want to leave in the first place, let alone for any significant amount of time.

Bella didn't want me to go, either. This had not been wishful thinking on my part, or if it was, my mother and siblings had the same wishful thoughts. They all seemed to catch her change in mood, Jasper specifically, when I had mentioned that I was leaving.

And when I touched her face…

The electricity between us before – the few times her hand had been in mine – was nothing in comparison. A mere prelude to what we could truly experience together.

I ran for home, my desire to be in her presence outweighing my interest in learning more about her. There would be time for that tomorrow, when I met with Jacob.

As I got closer to the house, and my family's thoughts came into focus, panic shot through me. Their minds were in chaos. Alice's visions were confused and ill-defined. Bella was on the ground, pinned under Emmett, struggling and growling as Esme tried to calm her.

What had happened? No one was thinking about that, so I couldn't determine the cause of the scene I was witnessing from five different angles. They were just thinking of me, wondering when I would return. Alice was finally able to _see_ that through the haze of blurred images, since I had gained distance from Jacob.

"_He's coming. Just a few more minutes." Hurry up! She's freaking out!_

_Yes, I can see that, but why?_ It was maddening not knowing. I wished at that moment that my sister could read my mind as I could hers.

_Oh, thank Heavens. "You see, Bella? He's safe."_

"_Her visions aren't always right! He said so!"_

"_Sometimes they're not, but they are this time. He's safe and on his way home, right now."_

Was this about me? How could it be? I hadn't been gone more than an hour. I pushed myself faster, only slowing once I reached the steps. I was in the living room and on my knees in front of Bella in less than a second.

"What happened?" I didn't ask this of anyone specifically, because I didn't care who answered. I just wanted to know.

_Idiot! You left her again, that's what happened._

Rosalie stormed out of the room after insulting me.

She had known I was leaving, though. I told her I was.

_She was worried for you. _Esme explained this silently, as she didn't want to cause Bella any further distress. She had only calmed slightly upon seeing me.

My mother's memories filled in the story. Through them, I could see Bella sitting on the couch, her focus on her arm as she dragged her nail down it, breaking the skin and watching it heal before repeating the action. She was rocking in place and growling softly. Anyone could see it was only a matter of time before she snapped.

"_Bella? Do you maybe wanna play that game again?" Emmett asked. "You were winning, but I bet I can still kick your ass."_

_She continued mutilating herself. "Edward didn't like that we were playing that game."_

"_He just… misunderstood some stuff. We can play if you want to."_

_Her growling intensified a little. "I don't want to. Where's Edward?"_

"_He told you, he had something to do," Alice answered. "He'll be back soon."_

_Her eyes were wild. She was on the brink. "But where did he go?"_

"_He should probably be the one to explain that."_

I could hear the concern in Alice's tone, even through Esme's memory. She had probably gotten a vision of what would be coming next.

"_He went after Victoria, didn't he?"_

Before anyone could answer her, she bolted for the door. It took both Emmett and Jasper to get her back into the living room.

They tried to assure her that I was fine, they even attempted to give her a version of the truth, but she had already become lost to her instincts.

She was still lost to them. She continued to thrash and growl as she glared at me.

"Bella, calm down. I'm home now."

"You left!" she snarled.

"I told you I was leaving."

"Not where! Where?"

She was too crazed to engage in any sort of reasonable conversation. I kept my answer simple.

"I went to see… someone."

"Who? Why?"

Emmett was struggling to hold her. My vague answers were only enraging her further. I had no idea what she would do if she gained freedom. Alice didn't know, either. Bella's ability to make decisions was affected by her anger. Before any kind of image could establish itself, it would evaporate.

Jasper was certain her rage was coming from fear, and I concurred, but I couldn't determine exactly what she was afraid of. I wanted to know, to assure her that she was safe. I would never let anything happen to her. Did she not realize that?

I would help her to understand, once I helped her to regain her sanity. I cautiously extended my hand, wanting to touch her face. Perhaps doing so would bring her back to me.

_She's gonna bite your hand clean off._

I ignored Emmett and continued. Slowly. She settled a little, her growls softer, her eyes less wild, though she still fought against my brother's hold.

For a second, she seemed more curious than angry, so I took a chance and cupped my hand against her cheek. The abruptness of her change in mood caused Jasper to flinch.

_She's attaching to you._

My entire body tensed as my anxiety climbed.

_Isn't that what you wanted?_

Yes, I did want that, but I hadn't expected it to happen so quickly, nor was I expecting it to be so upsetting to her. There were still moments when she seemed to hate me. This must have been very confusing to her.

"You left." She said this in a quiet, worried tone, not with the ire she had before.

"Bella, I told you I was leaving. Do you not remember me telling you?"

"I remember, I just didn't like it."

"Why?" The word caught in my throat. Would she admit to it?

"I didn't know where you went. I didn't know when you were coming back. _If_ you were coming back," she added in a whisper.

No, she wasn't ready yet. Jasper could sense her conflicting emotions. She didn't fully understand what she was feeling.

"I will always come back," I assured her.

She made a huffing sound, irritated but in a calm manner. She wasn't a frantic newborn just then. She was Bella, pissed off.

"Can you tell Emmett to get off me now? You're the one in charge of that, right? Deciding whether or not I'm sane enough to be free?"

Definitely pissed off. Her hatred of me had returned.

I signaled to Emmett, fighting the urge to remove the grin from his face by violent means. There was nothing amusing about her resentment toward me.

She leapt to her feet in one graceful, swift motion, and then she was on the move, ranting as she stomped from room to room. I followed but stayed out of her way. Though she probably wasn't aware of it, she could have thrown me across the house with ease. I didn't care to experience that.

"You shouldn't just leave like that! No one would tell me anything! I felt like I was going crazy! I don't like feeling like that! I don't like any of this!"

It was a controlled release of anger, so I didn't attempt to stop her. I also didn't respond. She wasn't looking for me to. She just wanted to vent, according to the thoughts of my family.

"Something's wrong with me! I'm not okay! Why did this have to happen? Why can't I remember anything?"

These were not rhetorical questions. She was asking me, desperately wanting answers. I couldn't share my theories with her, though. They were too disturbing, and she was too upset. If I was right, I would rather her not recall the horrors just yet. She would soon enough. I was dreading that.

I wished it were possible for her to remember herself, but leave the traumas buried forever.

"All of this is temporary," I soothed.

"Don't placate me! I know something is wrong with me! Besides the obvious thing wrong being that I'm now a vampire! You don't think I can feel it?"

I knew exactly what she was feeling. I could remember my days as a newborn with perfect clarity. I never had amnesia, but I, too, had questioned my sanity repeatedly in the first several months. Hearing every thought from every living being had lent to that assumption.

"I'm not placating you, Bella." I kept my tone even, lacking any form of sympathetic lilt. She didn't want that. "Besides the obvious being that you are now a vampire, nothing is wrong with you. The memory loss and… overly emotional tendencies, are temporary. I promise."

"So you keep saying," she grumbled. She stopped pacing the house and faced me. "Maybe I wouldn't freak out so bad if you just took me with you when you left."

Her tone was firm, but her eyes were troubled. They almost seemed to be holding fear, and searching mine for answers to questions I didn't know.

"I won't always be able to take you with me—"

A twitch of something indecipherable showed in her expression, and then she was mad again. "Fine!"

She spun around, starting to leave, so I reached out to stop her. I wanted to explain myself, but before I could form words, as my hand touched her shoulder, I felt a sharp impact to my chest.

Faster than I could register the action, she turned and shoved me, sending me into the air and toward the glass wall. I crashed through it, landing on the ground outside, on my back looking up at the night sky. I felt my stone flesh crack, and then immediately start to mend.

A softly exclaimed "oh, crap!" blended with the perplexed thoughts and racing footsteps of my family. They wondered what had happened. Their curiosity piqued when they saw me sprawled out in the driveway, unmoving.

I wasn't injured, of course. I was a little weak from the fissures created by the fall, but they were nearly healed.

I was stunned.

Four nosy faces appeared over me; a fifth worried one slowly joined.

"Edward, I'm sorry. You startled me."

Mental note: Don't startle Bella. I found relief in the knowledge that she had not been trying to attack me. Her reaction was instinctual.

"Are you okay?" Her tone thick with remorse, she knelt down beside me and placed her hand on my chest, above where my lifeless heart lay.

Yes. Just then, I was more okay than I had ever been. I willed my family to leave us alone, but of course they didn't hear my silent demand. Yet another rare moment when I wished that they could read my thoughts as I could theirs.

I knew I should ease her guilt, assure her that I was fine, but I wanted her sympathy for a little while longer. Closing my eyes, I placed my hand over hers, savoring the energy flowing between us.

I felt both excited and content; both coexisted and then merged effortlessly.

"I apologize for startling you."

Yes, I was sorry, but I could not find it in me to regret the outcome. I felt alive in ways that didn't seem possible. Had I not known better, I would have sworn my heart was beating again.

_Would you like us to leave?_

My mother's thoughts were warm, without derision. Always wanting for my happiness, it thrilled her that she could see a glimpse of it now within my expression.

Eyes still closed, I nodded once, barely, watching through her perspective as she ushered my siblings away.

"Are you in pain?"

Bella's guilt was still present. I had selfishly drawn it out for long enough.

"No, I'm not in pain."

"I guess it's kind of hard to hurt a vampire," she ventured, her legs crossing as she settled in beside me. Her hand remained under mine. She seemed in no hurry to remove it.

"Yes."

"But not impossible."

"No, it is not impossible."

In the silence that followed, I opened my eyes. She was staring at me thoughtfully, her eyes brimming with questions. I wondered if she would ask them or keep them as her secrets. Or perhaps I could coax them from her.

"What are you thinking?"

"Where did you go tonight?" she blurted out.

Esme was right. Bella had been worried about me. I could see it then, etched across her face as she awaited my answer.

"I went to see Jacob."

Her brow furrowed adorably. Clearly, that was not what she was expecting to hear.

"Why?"

"I needed to warn him about Victoria." I could be honest with her about that much, but I would wait to tell her the rest.

I wasn't sure how much information I would be able to glean from Jacob about Bella. I did not yet know how I might use that information to help her. Until I was certain, those plans would remain unmentioned.

"Then you weren't in any danger?"

I could hear the underlying discomfiture in her question. I sat up and faced her, taking her hand in mine so that we would not lose our connection to each other. I didn't care that we were sitting in a pile of broken glass on a loose gravel driveway. She didn't seem to, either.

"No. Were you worried that I was?"

I knew she was, what I wanted was for her to admit it. Just that slight indicator of her feelings…

"I couldn't shake the sense that you were."

Apparently, what I wanted was not to be fulfilled. Not yet, anyway. I needed to be patient. She was less than twenty-four hours old. She was new, and confused, and severely unstable. It would likely take months before she was settled enough to understand the bond that was forming between us. Admitting it might take even longer.

"I'm sorry you went through that. When I leave tomorrow, try—"

"Tomorrow?" She yanked her hand from mine. "You're leaving again tomorrow? Why?"

_You're bad at this, little brother._

I didn't need Emmett's assessment of the obvious. I was already aware.

"For a short time only, I promise."

"Can I come with you?"

She asked this somewhat calmly, but her anger was just below the surface, on hold until I answered. It was about to break loose.

"No, it's too dangerous—"

"You'll be in danger?" she snarled, interrupting me again.

She didn't wait for my response. With the type of speed only our kind was capable of, Bella leapt to her feet and jumped back into the house, through the opening where the glass wall used to be.

I sighed heavily and followed…

**To be continued…**

**Author's Notes:**

Okay, I know I ask this every time, but, is it starting to suck yet? I sincerely hope that it isn't, but my low self-esteem keeps me questioning myself.

Just to update…

My dad will have surgery in two weeks to remove the cancer. The surgeon is very optimistic. He will lose a large portion of his ear, as that is where the cancer is. He says he thinks it'll be fun to tell stories to explain why he is missing his ear. The few he has come up with so far are: Pit Bull attack, hunting accident, and mugging. (rolls eyes) My dad is an odd man.

The cover artist for my novels bailed on me. I've hired someone new, but I have to pay extra to have 'The Mengliad' redrawn, so that the artistic style matches on all three book covers. Major headache and hassles!

For anyone who's interested…

I have a blog-like thing I post on my webpage, and in the latest one, I rant a bit about how some anti-fans of the saga accuse Edward of being 'creepy'. You can find the link to my webpage in my profile. If you're reading this on my webpage, never mind. You already know how to find it. (grin)

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes, and for reading and reviewing. Good reviews are like hugs, and I could sure use some hugs right now.

MTLBYAKY


	9. Chapter 8

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Eight

By: Jana~

**XXX**

Jacob was late. Normally, I wouldn't care – punctuality was not a pet peeve of mine – except I didn't want to be away from Bella for any longer than was absolutely necessary. She had not handled my leaving very well, not that I suspected she would. Actually, her reaction was predictable.

She had asked again if she could go with me, almost pleading, but when I told her she could not, she stomped up to my room and slammed the door behind her. I considered that she might destroy my belongings in a fit of rage, but Alice assured me she would not. She saw that Bella would do little beyond pout until I returned.

So that Bella would not entertain the notion of escape through where the glass wall used to be, Emmett announced loudly, purposefully so that she would hear, that he would be keeping guard outside. We all heard her huff dramatically as she dropped herself onto the chaise.

Clearly, her anger had resurfaced from the night before, when she had ranted and paced for fifteen minutes before calming enough to hear me. Even after explaining myself – after letting her know that I would not be in danger, but that she might be if she accompanied me – she wasn't happy. I wanted her to be, but short of giving in to her demands, which I could not do, for her safety as well as for Jacob's, there seemed to be no way she would be.

Knowing I would be unable to make her happy, I settled on the next logical thing. Distract her.

A few weeks after waking into this existence, Carlisle had suggested that I start writing in a journal; a diversion from my insane newborn bloodlust. It was not entirely successful, but I soon came into the practice of collecting my thoughts within the suede and leather books. This practice continued throughout my years.

Perhaps if Bella was given a similar task, her focus could be diverted for a time.

I treated it like an assignment. I was her teacher after all.

"_I find it immensely helpful to write down my thoughts. I want you to try doing that for me. A lot has happened today… write about it. You don't have to show it to me if you would rather it remain private."_

She seemed skeptical, but she had taken the leather-bound book of blank pages from my hand, anyway, and seated herself at the desk.

I watched as she scribbled a few words, stopped and stared at the pen in her hand for a moment, then put it back to the paper and scribbled a few more. I guessed that the speed in which she could write had surprised her.

After she had finished, she clutched the book to her chest for a while, protectively. She wanted her written words to remain secrets. Honestly, I had expected that. It was understandable.

I had settled in with my own journal by then, but I wasn't collecting my thoughts as she was. I would do that later. I was relieving my mind of the song she had inspired, into my newest of many musical journals.

She had been staring at me for several minutes – curiously, which was preferable to the anger and disconcertment – when I broke the silence between us.

"_Did it help?" I asked._

_She shrugged. "A little, I guess."_

_I nodded and closed my journal, giving her my full attention. "I will not invade your privacy, Bella. You may set your journal down anywhere you wish to. No one will touch it, I give you my word."_

_She slowly released her harsh grip on it and placed it down on the desk she was still seated at. "I'm driving you nuts, aren't I?"_

_Emmett voicelessly warned me not to answer her question, but I did so anyway, just cautiously._

"_No. I don't believe you will find it so easy to drive me away, Bella."_

I offered nothing else in explanation, even when she arched her brow at me. I let her make of that what she would. I allowed the vagueness of it to give her pause to think.

_Her forehead crinkled in frustration when my silence indicated that I would not be elaborating. I felt guilty for that immediately. I needed to make things easier on her, not harder. I needed another distraction._

_I shifted my position and gestured to the space beside me. "Come read with me."_

I did not request that because of the close proximity it would create, nor did I because of my feelings for her, or because of my desire that she eventually become my mate. It was a simple act of compassion. She was feeling lost, adrift, and I wanted to help anchor her. I often found solace in reading, and I hoped she might as well.

She seemed to, much to my relief. She sat beside me for hours, still as the breezeless night, and read one of my favorite novels with me. I had it memorized, of course, so I had given her more of my attention than I did the words on the pages.

_I was in Heaven again. My arm was around her, rested on the back of the chaise. Occasionally, I wiggled my fingers, just to feel her hair graze against them. She was too engrossed in the story to notice, it seemed._

_Her scent was all around me, teasing me, thrilling me, saving me from my miserable and mundane existence._

_I yearned to drape my leg across hers and press my lips to her temple. I wanted to caress the curve above her hip as I pulled her tightly against me. I wanted to learn every inch of her body, memorizing it so that I could bring her pleasure…_

"Sorry I'm late."

Startled, my eyes flew open, locking on Jacob a few yards away.

"I think that's the first time I've ever surprised you. You usually know when I'm close before I do." He laughed a little at that. "What were you thinking about?"

Things I should not have been. Things he would hate me for.

"Family issues," I lied. Of course I lied. I wasn't about to tell him that I was fantasizing about the woman he considered his sister. I might have been struggling with what to say to Bella at times, but I certainly knew the inappropriateness of sharing that information. "I appreciate you coming."

He shrugged, strolling over. "How do you want to do this? You want to ask me questions, or have me just think of stuff while you pick apart my brain, or what?"

"We can start with a few questions. Memories will generate from the answers."

His thoughts indicated his willingness as he sat cross-legged a few feet in front of me. I joined him in sitting, but remained where I was.

"She was wondering what her birth date is."

"September thirteenth," he answered. Her inconsequential party flitted into his mind again.

"Why did you not celebrate her birthday in a more… traditional manner?"

"She wouldn't let us," he laughed. He then remembered that conversation.

"_I don't care if eighteen is supposed to be some big deal! I don't want a party!"_

"_Bells, come on. Give your old man a break, will'ya? This is the first party I get to throw for you since you were two."_

_Bella sighed. "Fine. But a _small_ party! Just you and Jake! No decorations! No presents! And no cake, either!"_

"_What's left?" Jacob asked, laughing. She scowled at him._

"_Okay, how 'bout this? A small party, just me and Jake, a few balloons, two presents, one from me, one from Jake, unwrapped, and cupcakes without anything fancier than frosting on top?"_

"She finally caved, but you could tell she only did it to make Charlie happy. She's always been shy. She doesn't like being the center of attention. She doesn't like people making a fuss over her."

Interesting.

"Her living with Charlie was a new arrangement?"

Jacob nodded. Disjointed memories entered his mind, flashing like movie clips…

"_We used to make mud pies together, remember?" Jacob asked._

_Bella nodded, her arms wrapped around herself, a strained smile preceding a softly spoken acknowledgment. "Um, yeah. I remember…"_

"_This is your homecoming present." Charlie patted the tailgate of an old, red pickup truck._

"_No way! Are you serious?" Bella excitedly climbed in behind the wheel…_

"_You need a ride to school?"_

"_No, actually, I go to school on the reservation," Jacob answered._

_Bella's face fell. "Oh. Yeah, of course. It would have been nice to know at least one person…"_

"When did she come to Forks?" I asked.

Jacob's previous memories dissolved.

"This last summer, about a month after you guys."

That was why I had not seen her in his thoughts. Our meetings to discuss and reestablish the treaty had come to an end by the time she had arrived, and we made it a point to avoid the wolves whenever possible after that.

"She used to come every summer," he continued, "but she stopped when she was ten. She said it was too muggy here in the summer."

An image of a younger Bella, about the age of ten, entered Jacob's mind then. She was in a one-piece bathing suit, sprawled out on a towel, on the lawn in front of Charlie Swan's house. Her arm was draped across her eyes, shielding them from the sun…

"_It's gross here. It's always hot and sticky."_

"_My dad says it's hotter in Arizona," Jacob mentioned._

_Bella scoffed. "But it's not sticky. And we have an air conditioner. And a pool! Charlie thinks running through the sprinkler is the same thing? It's not!"_

"That was her last summer visit," Jacob muttered.

"If she was miserable visiting, why did she come here to live?"

"Charlie. He missed out on most of her growing up, and Bella felt bad about that. Her mom did, too. So she decided to spend her senior year with her dad. You know, before going off to college and all that."

"_Parents shouldn't leave visitation decisions up to bratty little ten-year-olds!" Bella exclaimed. She then sighed. "I hurt him, Jake. Spending a year with him after doing that is the least I can do, right?"_

"_Don't be so hard on yourself, Bells. Your dad's never blamed you. He's never said a bad word about you. It's always been praise."_

Jacob shrugged. "That just made her feel guiltier."

The expression Bella wore in that memory matched ones I had seen her wear a few times before. It seemed it was her natural inclination to feel guilty, even when the situations were beyond her control. It wasn't just an odd newborn behavior. It had been an odd human behavior as well.

Fascinating.

"Does she know about your ability to phase? The Quileute legends?"

He glared at me, just a little. "Of course not. What, do you think I wanted to freak her out?"

He sounded adamant, but his thoughts betrayed him. He had considered telling her a few times, but could never bring himself to do it. He worried about her reaction, and the example that would have set for his pack.

"You do realize that she will now have to know?" I asked.

He nodded and looked away. "I'll let you handle that. Just don't make me out to be the bad guy, okay?"

"I would never. I know we're natural enemies, but if not for that… I don't dislike you, Jacob."

The slightest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Yeah, well, for a leech, you're not too horrible, I guess."

It was a completely honest statement. My being a vampire was the only obstacle preventing him from considering me a friend. His thoughts took a sad turn, believing that his and Bella's relationship would now bear that same hindrance. He was fighting against generations of hatred, struggling to reconcile what he wanted and how he felt with what his tribe's legends told him he should want and feel.

_The only good vampire is a barbequed vampire._

I rolled my eyes, dismissing their motto for what it was: a form of prejudice, essentially, but one that had certainly been earned. There were few of my kind that weren't bloodthirsty monsters, with little regard for much beyond sating that thirst. My coven was different, yes, but his kind lived in fear that we might snap and return to our predisposed way of existing. They were right to be mindful of that.

While we would never purposefully return to that ruthless existence, vampires are creatures of instinct. Mistakes can and do happen.

Only a few of my family could truthfully claim never to have tasted human blood. I was not one of them. Among us, besides Jasper, who didn't know better at the time, I had the most blood on my hands.

As a leech, for the amount of years I had suffered in this shell of an existence, my death count was relatively low, in comparison to most. One hundred thirty-seven – that was how many victims' lives I had ended.

I could see each one of them in my memory. Each repulsive specimen of man I had drained. I could remember every plea each one of them had made, begging me to let them live. Why should I have shown them any mercy when they had not extended the same to their own victims?

So I showed them none. The monster inside me reasoned that this was justice, and rejoiced as I gave it what it craved. But even as I justified my actions and sated my bloodlust, I knew it was wrong. Whatever their crimes, I had been given no authority over their fate.

While I appreciated the sentiment, Jacob was wrong. I _was_ horrible. I knew better but did it anyway, even as my father's voice – the voice of my conscience – pleaded with me not to. That imagined voice had been the catalyst in my returning home. Carlisle accepted me back with open arms, but I could never forgive myself as he had forgiven me. I wasn't deserving of it.

I wasn't deserving of Jacob's friendship, or Bella's. I wasn't deserving of Bella.

"You're out of questions already?"

I wasn't, but I suddenly, and very strongly, felt the need to be back with Bella. I needed to be near her.

"No, but I should be getting back. Bella was not pleased by my leaving, and I don't wish to upset her further by being gone too long."

"I was late showing up…" Jacob shrugged as he stood. "We could meet again, in a few days or something, if you want."

I did want that. I wanted to learn as much about Bella as I possibly could. My family didn't understand the urgency in my quest to know her. They hadn't said it aloud, but they thought it. Since Bella's amnesia was temporary, they felt I should have just waited until her memories came back on their own, and then she herself could tell me what I wished to know. I looked forward to when she could share her life stories with me, but I also wanted to help her regain them.

The more I knew of her, the more assistance I could be. That's what I told myself, anyway.

The truth was, in addition to that, I was also wretchedly in love with her, and had no patience. I couldn't wait to know everything there was to know about her. She was my life now, and I wanted to start living her.

"Yes, please, if you don't mind."

He shrugged again. "Wouldn't have suggested it if I did. Same time, same place, day after tomorrow?"

That would give me almost forty-eight hours with Bella before having to leave her again. Hopefully, that would be enough to appease both of us.

"Yes. Thank you."

I extended my hand, but he only looked at it for a moment, then up into my eyes. He didn't want to touch me. He deemed it a gesture of friendship, and he wasn't ready to consider me that. He wasn't wholly against the idea of it being possible later on, though.

I gave a simple nod and dropped my hand.

It had been odd, bonding with Jacob in that manner. We rarely spoke while he was in human form; the few times we had, there was tension and distrust. There was neither today, as we discussed Bella. He was at ease in his human form, in my presence. Not once had he feared that I would attack him.

Perhaps this would be the start of improved relations between Jacob's tribe and my family. Perhaps Bella would be the link between our two species.

As I neared the house, I saw her through Carlisle's thoughts. They were in his study, and he was assuring her that the amnesia was temporary, just as I had said. When she heard me approach and enter, she very nearly took the door off the jamb trying to leave the room.

She came racing down the stairs, and for a moment, it looked as if she was about to throw herself into my arms. I wanted her to – I was ready for her to – but she stopped short, abruptly, on the step before the landing.

She had seemed excited to see me initially, but now she appeared frustrated.

"You're home."

Clearly, since I was standing right in front of her. "Yes. Were you worried again?"

"I stayed calm!" she defended herself vehemently.

_She did, but she was still worried._

Alice's memories showed Bella pacing my room, her tension growing by the minute, until Carlisle had asked to speak with her in his office. His well-practiced bedside manner usually had a soothing effect.

"I wasn't accusing you of anything, Bella. I'm pleased you were able to remain calm."

_On the outside. On the inside, she was a mess. She's better now that you're here, but when you're gone…_

Jasper's thoughts trailed off, but I knew what was coming next.

It was impossible, though. It was too soon. She was a newborn, incapable of feeling the mating bond due to her mental and emotional instability.

The electricity, yes, because it was tangible. A physical sensation. Attachment, yes, because I was her teacher. It was not unusual for a student to attach to their teacher, and I had hoped that she would do so eventually.

But the mating bond was something stronger than either of those things. Something deeper, and without compare. The Quileute called it Imprinting, but the principles were the same. One's mate is the other half of themselves, making them whole. They become your entire reason for existing. They are the gravity that holds you to the planet.

I had started feeling this for Bella as she was changing, but within minutes of when she had opened her eyes, I knew. I was prepared to wait for her, to see if she would bond to me as I had to her – I wanted her to, more than I had wanted for anything else, ever – but I was expecting that to take months, not hours.

I would have thought Jasper was wrong, that he had somehow misinterpreted her emotions, but he knew more about newborn mentality than most. He used to train newborns for his creator's armies.

His military training as a human, along with his ability to control moods, had made him ideally suited for such a position. His creator – a ruthless, territory-coveting vampire by the name of Maria – had taken full advantage of that, and of him.

He thought what he'd had with Maria was love, but he hadn't known what it meant to truly bond to another, until he had met Alice.

Their bond had been instantaneous, but neither of them were newborns at the time. Both Carlisle and Rosalie had bonded near instantly to Esme and Emmett respectively, but it took months after they were changed for my mother and brother to form that bond in return. Their experiences were to be my compass as I navigated through the turbulent waters ahead.

It made sense that Bella would need time to stabilize first. It was logical. It was not logical for her to bond while in this volatile mental state. There was still a part of her that hated me, after all. How could she bond to me and hate me simultaneously?

It didn't seem possible, and yet, it was irrefutable. I could read her emotions through Jasper, as she stared back at me with worried eyes. They were not worried now because of some perceived danger I might have been in. She feared rejection.

I would never, but I couldn't claim her now. Not yet. She simply wasn't ready for that, regardless to the bond she was feeling. She didn't even know who she was. Until her memories returned, a commitment of that magnitude should not be made.

That was the responsible course, and I would not be irresponsible with Bella's wellbeing. I would have all of eternity with her. I could wait the however long it took for her to remember herself.

That was what I told myself, anyway, but that was only the partial truth. I would have convinced myself that it was the whole truth, if only in my own mind, if not for one thing. Jasper.

_What's wrong? This is a good thing! It's what you wanted!_

It was what I wanted, yes, but it was not what I deserved. More importantly, it was not what Bella deserved. She deserved better. She deserved to find someone worthy of her affections.

Selfishly, I ached at the thought of her with another. No, I didn't deserve her, but I wanted her. And if she wanted me…

_Not yet, Edward. You might think she's ready, but she's not._

I did not think she was ready, and my sister's vision confirmed that. When just considering the idea of making her mine this very day, Alice saw Bella's horrified reaction, and then her running away from me.

I would not frighten her like that. I would wait, for decades if need be. It would be her decision. I would not claim her otherwise.

Until then, I would be whatever she needed me to be. And at that moment, she needed me to be her teacher.

I extended my hand and smiled gently. "You asked before about the sunlight myth?"

Her expression turned curious as she placed her hand in mine…

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

Not beta-ed. Sorry. Hope there weren't too many mistakes. My beta's life has become 'unpredictable', to use her word. I might need to find a secondary beta to help me out. Interested? Send me a message and we'll talk.

I thought I remembered reading somewhere that Edward had killed one hundred thirty-seven people during his rebellious period, but when researching that before posting this chapter, I couldn't confirm it. I could only find, in _Midnight Sun_, that there had been so many that he'd stopped counting their numbers. If someone can find an exact number and point me to it, I'll edit it in the chapter.

Responses:

ADarnell: I agree with you one hundred percent! All heroes should have a balance of 'wonderful' and 'issues'. I actually wrote a blog about that once! I like Edward's balance! (smile)

Sweetpea123: No, no one claimed 'my Edward' was creepy, just that in general, in the saga, Edward is creepy. Thanks for the review!

Xavier2163: They don't go to school in my AU. They sometimes do, sometimes don't, throughout the decades, but they're taking a break from schooling currently. No one but Edward is in any kind of hurry to gain information about Bella's human life. It's not urgently necessary, and they all know her amnesia is temporary. I hope this chapter explained that a little better for you.

Cucusa: I don't believe I am portraying Edward as stupid. It is a canon concept that, because he cannot read Bella's mind, he sometimes gets frustrated and confused by her actions and comments. From _Midnight Sun_: (page 33) I tried to understand the motion, but could only make guesses. – (page 36) "Do you prefer Isabella?" I asked, perplexed by the fact that I couldn't see where this question was leading. I didn't understand. Surely, she'd made her preference clear many times that first day. Were all humans this incomprehensible without the mental context as a guide? – (page 45) I'd never expended so much effort to understand someone in all my life – or rather existence, as _life_ was hardly the right word. – (page 100) How confusing and incomprehensible the workings of her mind were!

These were just a few examples I found by searching the word 'understand' in the _Midnight Sun_ doc. There are other instances where he talks about this. I just took that canon element and went with it.

And 'canon Edward' is very protective of Bella. Yes, because she is human, which she is not in this fic, but I believe that he would still feel protective of her because she's a newborn and could get herself into a lot of trouble because she is. Kill a human and regret it later, or simply do so conspicuously and piss of the Volturi, or end up on Quileute land and piss off the wolves… I happen to like Edward's protective nature, so I included it under these different circumstances. Sorry if that annoys you.

Ic88: LOL, yeah, she does. Thanks. It was kinda what I was going for with that. (grin)

Lisi-apple: Sorry, this fic will be solely from Edward's POV.

AJ04-Jtrs98: LOL, glad you're having a ball! Hope you continue to have one! (grin)

Exintaris (who happens to be a very good friend of mine, but I'm answering his question here because others might wonder as well): This is how their skin is described in the saga: "Living stone", "…feeling this love for her settle into every portion of my stone body", "It was bad enough that my skin was stone and inhuman…", "…hating the thought of her reaction to my frigid stone skin…", "I watched her face as she felt the cold stone of my skin…" – Yeah, you get the point. In the movies, they have this awesome effect where when they get hit hard enough, cracks form, then start to mend instantly. If you want, I'll upload a few brief scenes onto YouTube for you. Just shoot me an email, 'kay? (grin)

Skr4romance: Wow, thanks for breaking your own rule for this fic! I will do everything in my power to update as quickly as possible.

To everyone else: Thank you so very much for all the well wishes, and for the encouraging comments and love. I hope the fic still isn't sucking.

Let me know if I should continue, 'kay? I hope people want me to continue, 'cause I'm kinda liking what I have, and the plans I have for it.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, and MTLBYAKY

P.S. I uploaded a new video onto YouTube… just a _Twilight_ Saga slideshow to the song 'Supermassive Black Hole' by: Muse. Liked the song, liked the pics, made a video. No reason otherwise for doing so. Username there is: JanaOnWheels.


	10. Chapter 9

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Nine

By: Jana~

**XXX**

It was as if I could feel Bella's exhilaration through our physical connection. Her hand in mine, she allowed me to lead and guide her, through the forest, far past where most would dare to venture. It was a show of trust, however slight, that I had not expected from her so soon.

So much about her was unexpected. A beautiful, extraordinary enigma, and she was mine. Not yet, not officially, but soon she would be, and for all of eternity. Patience was suddenly a very difficult virtue to maintain.

Alice's visions broadened to include Bella's decisions, her desires mirroring mine in many ways. She desired, but she did not fully understand. These were instincts she was unfamiliar with. They were foreign to me as well, but only because I had never found another with whom I wished to share those experiences.

Until Bella.

Now I longed to experience, soon and repeatedly. My body's response to those imaginings was far from gentlemanly, yet I spun them, anyway.

_I wouldn't do that if I were you._

I ignored Alice but changed my direction of thought. Of course I would never do such a thing. Bella did not know me but a little. I knew a little more of her, but just barely. We were not yet mated, nor were we married. Such intimacy should be saved for when we were. I could not help my thoughts, but I could and would control my actions.

If Carlisle was right – if we did have souls – I would not risk Bella's by being intimate with her before wedlock. I already knew where my soul, if I had one, was headed.

"Do they have to follow us? I won't run away again."

I could hear the sincerity in her promise, but what I was about to show her might possibly unnerve her. She would not be so levelheaded if the urge to run overcame her.

"It's only a precaution, Bella."

_We'll hang back a little. Alice and I will keep aware of things, don't worry._

Jasper meant with their gifts, of course. If Bella's emotions were to become unstable, or Alice was to see her make a decision to run, they would assist me immediately.

But at that moment, Bella wasn't distraught, merely discouraged. I hoped I wasn't about to add to her frustration.

Without breaking stride, I brought Bella up to the edge of the brook, and then we leapt over it together. Her smile grew once we were across, and at first it was mine alone, until she looked past me to the clearing just beyond.

"The meadow that enjoys more sunshine…?"

Of course she remembered. Vampires have perfect recollection, and her amnesia only affected past memories, not ones currently being formed. "Yes."

Gripping her hand tighter, nervously, I led her through the long grass and sparsely scattered wildflowers, to a patch of sun that would serve my purpose. When I stepped into the middle of it, I dropped her hand and turned to face her.

"Whoa." Her voice was soft, not like she was appalled, but as if she was in awe.

I watched her carefully, burning with curiosity to know her thoughts. She seemed mesmerized by the light and colors reflecting off my skin, and then off her own as she moved her hand through the sun's rays.

"It's like… It's…"

It seemed she could not find sufficient adjectives with which to finish her sentences. Again, it was maddening, but I waited as patiently as I could for her to, in some way, indicate her thoughts and feelings.

She scowled and looked up at me. Her eyes, as they often seemed to be, were full of questions. Would she continue to keep them as her secrets, or would she now ask them of me? I so badly wanted her to. I wanted to teach her. I wanted that small glimpse into her mind.

Focusing on my siblings for a moment, I found that Bella wasn't in any distress. Jasper could sense that, and while Alice's visions were sketchy, they in no way showed any form of panic or attempts to flee.

This new lesson was not unsettling to her. I was grateful for that, but also confused. The color of her eyes had frightened her, yet the light reflecting off her inhuman skin did not?

"Why…?"

Good, a question. An incomplete one, but I welcomed it. "While our skin appears humanlike, it's not. The cellular structure more closely resembles stone than fleshy tissue."

"Stone that heals itself and refracts light?" She dug a fingernail into her skin and dragged it down her arm, opening the stone flesh to the bone.

I winced at the sight of it. "Bella, please, don't do that."

"Why? It heals…" She held her arm up, showing me what I already knew. "See?"

I forced myself not to salve the wound with my venom, to speed the mending process along. "Yes, I know that it heals, but I find it disconcerting, watching you mutilate yourself."

"Oh." She dropped herself onto the ground, gracefully but in an adorable, childlike manner. "Sorry," she muttered.

I joined her, observant of the way her skin shimmered and winked colors. I had never considered this obvious sign of our inhumanness beautiful before. "You needn't apologize. I understand the fascination."

"But I keep upsetting you."

The guilt in her expression and self-deprecation in her tone reminded me of the girl in Jacob's memories – Bella, but with chocolate brown eyes and a soft red blush to her cheeks. Her eyes were crimson now, and of course she wasn't blushing, but I was certain she would if she still could.

"Bella…" I lifted her chin with the lightest touch of my finger, gaining her attention. There were so many things I wished to say to her. So many confessions I wanted to make. Wisely, cowardly, I said instead, "You do not upset me." _You intrigue me, thrill me, arouse in me feelings I had thought were long buried…_ "I am merely concerned for your wellbeing."

"Why?"

This held two possible connotations, but I suspected the meaning behind her question had more to do with my interest in protecting her, rather than the would-be dangers she needed protecting from. There was something in the way she stared at me, and in the way her voice quivered when she spoke.

Jasper had also sensed it. He construed from her emotions that she was, once again, worried I might reject her. But how could I assure her that I wouldn't without frightening her? How was I to hide the depth of my feelings for her, when the urge to share them was so strong?

Perhaps actions would speak of my intentions better than words. I could answer her question and allay her worries with a simple kiss to her lips. Surely that wouldn't frighten her.

A sudden vision materialized in Alice's mind…

My lips pressed lightly to Bella's, her pulling back abruptly, eyes wide and bewildered… and then she bolted from the meadow.

_Too soon, Edward. Give her time._

I was both grateful and annoyed by Alice's assistance. She was right, but I didn't want her to be. I wanted to kiss Bella. I wanted to feel her lips beneath my own, responsive and eager to express our mutual love and desires.

_And then she runs away screaming. Don't do it._

My sister's lack of faith in me was dispiriting. I was fantasizing, not deciding. Could she not see that? Or perhaps I was closer to succumbing to my urges than I thought.

I cleared my mind and forced my hands to clasp in front of me. Alice's vision dissipated, but the one that took its place was unnerving, not helpful. It depicted her and Jasper, later, engaged in activities I did not want to see. I blocked it out and focused on Bella. She was still waiting for my answer.

"I feel very… protective of you."

Her worry became confusion. "What do I need protecting from? We seem to be pretty much indestructible."

"No, Bella, we're not. These are the things you must understand. These are the things I need to teach you. There _are _dangers. There are laws that must be complied with."

"Vampires have laws? Who sets them?"

I had not been planning to discuss this topic with her now. In time, yes, because it was imperative that she eventually know, but she did not need to know right then. I would have guided her. I would still, until she had a firm grasp on this existence.

"The Volturi."

The scowl she wore deepened. "The who?"

Of course the name would mean nothing to her. Yet. That would soon change. Every vampire in existence knew of the Volturi. Some of us were more keenly aware of them than others.

"The Volturi. A very old, very powerful family. Like royalty. They are who have set the laws, and they are the ones who exact the punishments."

She cringed. "What kind of punishments?"

I would have to proceed carefully. Explain cautiously so as not to upset her. I wasn't sure what was safe to say, since Alice's thoughts were still occupied by the unhelpful images of her and Jasper.

"They vary, depending on the transgression. Anything from banishment to servitude to death."

"It's possible to kill a vampire? How?"

It seemed she was stable – her tone was even, her expression almost neutral – but I couldn't be certain. Alice and Jasper were now feeding off each other, a continual cycle of visions and emotions between them. Bella and I were all but forgotten.

"I don't wish to frighten you…"

"I want to know," she insisted. "Emmett's nearby. If I freak out, you can sic him on me."

I heard my brother chuckle, and of course Bella heard him, too. She smirked, but then grew serious again. "Please, Edward?"

I could not deny her. Even against my better judgment, I could not. "Dismemberment and burning."

Instinctively, she tensed and hissed, as if the words themselves had threatened her. I reached out and took her hand in mine, tightening my grip when she did not recoil.

"No harm will come to you, Bella, I promise. I will protect you. I will teach you. Help you. You needn't be afraid."

Her chin jutted out a little, defiantly. "I'm not afraid."

I didn't wholly believe that, but asserting she was would have only irritated her. I wanted today to be a good day, spent with each other on good terms. Upsetting her wasn't on the agenda. I decided to change the subject.

"I learned your birth date today. September thirteenth."

She startled, and at first I thought she did because she had recalled some memory of herself.

"Is that why you went to go see Jacob?"

Was she displeased by this? I hadn't meant to offend her. "Yes. I only wanted to be helpful." _And to sate my burning need to know more about you. _"I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for? Just tell me what you found out!"

She sat taller, clutching my hand firmly, almost to the point of pain. There was eagerness in her eyes, excitement that she might actually remember her life before yesterday. I wanted so badly to give her that, wrapped in elegant paper – a gift, an offering, to atone for my crimes against her.

"I learned only a little. He was late arriving, and I was eager to return to you." I brushed my thumb along her knuckles, conveying the sincerity of that admission. I was also hoping to ease her grip on my hand.

It worked. Her hold was gentle as she listened, rapt, to every word I recounted. Unfortunately, those shared details sparked no memories for her. Her disappointment was tangible; her eyes grew sad, her body slumped.

"I'm sorry, Bella. When I meet with him again, day after tomorrow, perhaps I will learn something that finally brings you back to yourself."

"Can I come with? I'll behave myself, I promise."

Her tone was pleading. Desperate. It made me ache to have to deny her. "I'm sorry, but it's not safe for you to come."

She huffed, but she remained in control of her agitation. "You think I'm going to eat him."

"Actually, no, I don't think that." She looked up at me with questioning eyes. "Jacob exudes a distinctive stench that is _not_ appealing. I seriously doubt that you would be interested in _drinking_ him."

She caught my correction. "If my _drinking_ him isn't the problem, then what is?"

"Jacob is... unpredictable. Combining that unpredictability with your erratic newborn emotions is not a good idea. It's not safe."

Her restraint slipped a little. "You mean _I'm_ not safe." She pulled her hand from mine and stood.

I called to her as she started to walk away from me. "Bella, please, I need you to trust me."

"Why should I?" she snarled. "_You_ don't trust _me_!"

I leapt to my feet and followed her. "I _do_ trust you, Bella. I trust that if you could control your impulses, you would. But as a newborn, that isn't always possible. It's Jacob I don't trust."

That caused her to stop abruptly. Curiosity quelled her rising anger. "What could Jacob possibly do?"

I wasn't ready to explain the wolves to her. Not yet. I didn't feel she could handle any new lessons right then, especially one that complicated. "He could provoke you. If you were to attack him, you would regret it later."

She seemed to consider that for a moment. "Fine," she muttered, turning and heading for the nearest tree. I flashed right beside her.

"Where are you going?"

The hint of a smirk ghosted across her face. "Up. Coming?"

Without a single doubt, yes. "Of course. After you." I gestured for her to start and followed directly behind.

She was a natural. Her grace was unparalleled as she climbed and soared from tree to tree. When she finally decided on one of them, she raced up to the top and made room for me to join her.

"I've never seen anything so beautiful," she whispered, awestruck by the scenery on the horizon. A deliberate smile then began to slowly appear. "That I know of."

She had made a joke about her amnesia! A bit unusual, given her frustration over that particular dilemma, but she _was_ an enigma. I smiled in return. "I have."

And if I dared to hope, I would enjoy the sight of her every day of forever.

Warily, I reached for her hand. Even as her fingers laced with mine, even as the electricity arced between us again, her outward attention remained on the view surrounding us. Her façade was not flawless, however. Twice, her eyes shifted briefly in my direction, and the hint of a smile twitched against her lips.

I could have stood there for decades, high in that tree, holding her hand, watching her as she enjoyed the beauty of the world. Her eyes were wide with wonder, her lips slightly parted.

_Edward._

The gentle autumn sunlight illuminated her skin, captivating me.

_Edward._

How had I never recognized the beauty of our appearance? It seemed an obvious thing to me then, as I stared at Bella.

_Edward!_

"What?"

My outburst being without clear necessity, Bella startled. I had answered Alice's thoughts, not to anything said aloud.

I curbed my annoyance before apologizing. "My intrusive sister was trying to get my attention."

_I wasn't trying to be intrusive! Pay attention!_

Focusing on her thoughts, her visions, I then realized why she had been so desperate for me to hear her. I was not worried, but it would need to be dealt with.

Bella's inquisitive expression changed to include her arching a single eyebrow at me. I wanted to explain, but there was little time.

"We have to go. Don't be afraid."

The faster we caught up with my siblings the better. They were waiting for us, as Alice apprised them of what was about to happen. Before she could argue or refuse, I pulled Bella onto my back and dismounted the tree. She clung to me, a squeal of surprise piercing the quiet around us as we fell to earth. I braced myself when we landed, so as not to jar her too badly.

"Sorry. We need to hurry."

With that said, I ran at full speed. She held on to me tightly, her legs wrapped around my waist, her arms around my neck, her breath against my ear…

"What's going on?"

Her nearness was like a form of intoxication. I had almost forgotten where I was headed and why, until she had asked.

"We have company. It's nothing we can't handle."

"Then why are you so tense?"

I could hear the worry in her tone, but was it for me or for the potential situation? I didn't want for her to be concerned about either.

"There isn't time to take you home, and I don't want you involved in this."

"Involved in what? Please, Edward, just tell me."

There really wasn't time to explain. Not sufficiently, anyway. I didn't want to confuse or frighten her by giving her only part of the story. I avoided her plea and called to Alice. "How long?"

"A minute, maybe less."

Thirty seconds later, I was in front of her. I set Bella onto her feet and took her hand, keeping her near me. "Please, just let us handle this."

She didn't respond with words. She had caught his scent by then, interpreted it as danger, and her instincts triggered. A low growl formed deep in her throat.

Because of Alice's visions, I had not been worried before, but Bella's decisions had not entered into the equation. She had not yet realized his presence then.

Now, she was aware.

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. Total chaos in my life right now, which created a bad bout of writer's block.

Responses:

Hushi Taloa: Thanks! The ups and down are coming, never fear. And, yeah, I'm big on the HEA, or at least the hint of it being possible.

Sweetpea123: Twilight-addict-approved? Excellent! Thank you for your appreciation of my hard work. It's a labor of love. (grin)

ilovethehappybunny: Thank you for the compliments. I'm sorry you're unhappy with my characterization of Edward and Bella.

HopeStreet: Exactly. (smile)

AJ04: Glad you're continuing to enjoy! I have some awesome ideas and partial scenes written for when she gets her memories back. (grin)

Loving lady: Bella's and Jacob's relationship will remain platonic.

Kristin04: Still not smoking! Yay me, LOL! Thanks for asking.

Eaglewings2peace: Yes, her memories will come back.

Thanks to my beta, Kristy! Even while struggling to find the time to update her own fic, _**'You Found Me'**_ (By: Kristylized), she squeezed in beta-ing this chapter for me! Luv and huggles!

Also, thanks to my good friend for taking a look at the chapter as well! He knows who he is. (smile)

The next chapter might take a while for me to get to. I have neglected my sequel long enough. I need to finish it, and I've been procrastinating doing so. Instead, I've been playing in the Twilight fanficdom sandbox, LOL! It's a serious possibility that I won't make the deadline now! I've already pushed back the release date twice!

The new cover for the first novel is coming along nicely, though. Well, except that now, the main character, Craddock, is starting to look a little like Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter)! LOL! The artist says it's fixable.

If you want to take a look at the sketch for the cover, it's posted on my novel's FaceBook page. Just go to FaceBook and type in 'Mengliad'. (smile)

Thanks to all for reading and reviewing!

MTLBYAKY


	11. Chapter 10

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Ten

By: Jana~

**XXX**

I didn't relish the idea of having to destroy him, but if Bella attacked him, and he retaliated as he defended himself, I would have no choice. Of course that wasn't fair to him, but being fair was not my top priority. Bella was, as she would always be.

Gripping her hand tighter, I tugged her behind me and stepped in front of her. "Bella, no. We will handle this."

For the first time since Bella had caught his scent, Alice's visions weren't of a violent nature. She was listening to me, even while feeling threatened. I didn't have long to marvel at that. I mimicked what I could see in those hazy images just as he stepped into view; I dropped Bella's hand, wrapped my arm around her, and brought her up against my side.

She relaxed into me infinitesimally, her arm sliding around my waist in return. All thoughts were lost to her for a moment, her body a perfect fit to mine, but then he spoke and I was able to regain them.

"It seems our paths have crossed again."

Our paths had not just crossed, as if by happenstance. He had come looking for us after catching our scents, curious about the vampires with the golden eyes. However innocent his intentions, I remained leery of his presence. Alice's visions were muddled again, probably because there were too many of us deciding on how the potential confrontation should end, myself included.

"Laurent." I greeted him with the expected amount of civility only. "Have you had any luck in finding your friend?"

Of course he hadn't. I asked him so to keep up pretenses, and also to redirect his thoughts. I wanted to know if they were any closer to discovering the truth.

Twirling a lock of his hair around his finger, he strolled closer, scoffing a little at the overstatement. He did not consider James a friend.

"Victoria still believes this to be one of his games. I felt it best that I leave now, before she realizes it is not."

There was no proof – the wolves had been efficient in cleaning up after themselves – so he wasn't certain, but he had started to suspect us of being involved in James' disappearance. He had not told Victoria of his assumptions before he left her, however, though why he hadn't was unclear. His mind was not on the reason for why he had kept silent.

"Your eyes are most unusual. I have never seen anything like it in all my three hundred years."

"It is the consequence of our diet." His curiosity piqued with my answer, as did Bella's, it seemed.

She looked up at me, her brow furrowed. I wanted to explain things to her, in detail, but later, once we were out of Laurent's company.

"We survive on the blood of animals," I continued, "in order to preserve human life."

"Noble."

His tone was snide, as were his thoughts. He didn't think it was noble at all. To him it was a ridiculous choice. An unnecessary sacrifice. I wasn't interested in convincing him otherwise. I would be wasting my breath and words, anyway. Nothing I could have said would have changed his mind. He was set in his ways, as our kind tended to be. He was content with his nomadic existence, and with his position at the top of the food chain.

The discipline needed to adopt and maintain our lifestyle was not inherent in many. It certainly did not appear to be inherent in Laurent, and I doubted he would be willing to exert any effort to hone such restraint.

Suddenly, his thoughts shifted, his attention moving to the scar on Bella's arm. He recognized the crescent shaped impression as James' bite mark. That knowledge made him a threat, specifically to Bella, but to the rest of our family as well. The possible ramifications made me want to end him right then and there. If he returned to Victoria with what he had learned…

Possessively, I growled and pulled Bella tighter against me. The only way he would ever touch her was over my dismembered and incinerated body.

His eyes left her and locked with mine. "My apologies," he soothed. "I meant no disrespect."

Wrongfully, he assumed I was angry with him for ogling Bella. Though, admittedly, my reaction would have been similar if he had been.

Bella was _mine_.

Worried that such a declaration would have frightened her, I stopped myself from asserting exactly that as I glared at Laurent. He was unaware, of course, but his existence had been spared because of one simple, seemingly inconsequential thing.

More and more as the seconds passed, Bella distracted me from my anger. Her body pressed into mine was like joy personified, her wide, innocent eyes a reminder that I was attempting to be worthy of that joy.

As long as he stayed away from Forks, and away from Bella, specifically, I would allow him to continue existing. My leniency, however, might well have been a stay of execution. I wasn't the only creature looking to end him.

_Edward, the wolves._

Alice's visions had faded, disappearing into shadows of gray and black. They were close, their thoughts becoming discernable as they bounded for us. It was not the right time to introduce Bella to the mutts, but I could not take her home. I was the only one who could communicate with them while they were phased.

"Rosalie, Alice, take Bella back to the house."

Bella snarled, grabbing me more firmly around my waist. Her strength was such that I felt a tiny crack form horizontally from my spine to my ribs. I winced with the discomfort, but suffered the effects without complaint.

"Bella, I will only be a few moments behind you." I gently brushed the back of my fingers across her cheek, watching as the angry confusion in her eyes dissipated. She relaxed her hold just enough that the fissure began to heal.

"Please, Edward? I'll behave, I promise."

Her wish could not be granted. I needed her to be safely away from here. "I'm sorry."

Her irritation resurfaced. Scowling, she pushed me away from her and immediately started running for home. Rosalie chased after her; for once, her thoughts were lacking contempt. Alice hesitated for a moment, her expression sympathetic.

_She'll have to know about them eventually, Edward._

I was aware of that, of course, but the twelve seconds I had in which to explain them to her was insufficient. Added to that, I didn't know if Laurent was about to be ripped apart, to essentially become chew toys for the adolescent pups on steroids. I wished to spare her from the sight of that.

I gave my sister a nod of understanding, and she took off after Rosalie and Bella.

As Laurent stood confused before us, my conscience warred with my desire to see the potential threat silenced forever. I could simply stare back and bide my time. He would catch their scents before they arrived, but only just before. There would not be enough time to escape, and the wolves would not stop to listen to explanations.

I could be rid of him without ever having to touch him.

Jasper could feel my emotional fluctuations. _Are we warning him or not?_

Bella deserved a compassionate mate. Someone with integrity.

I spoke in a rush of sound, in a way no creature other than our own kind could have heard or understood.

"You have six seconds, Laurent. Something is coming, and you don't want to be here when it arrives. Trust me." I pointed in the direction of safety.

He wasted a second and a half before heeding my warning. Three seconds later, my brothers and I were surrounded by fur and stench.

_Where are they?_

"He ran off," I answered. There was no sense in lying about his being there. They could smell him. Also, I didn't care if they caught him. I had done the compassionate thing already. My attempt to be better than I was had been seen to. "He went that way."

Jacob gave the order, and half the pack left in pursuit.

I was honest when pointing out the direction Laurent had run off in – the direction I had told him to go – but I seriously doubted that they would catch up to him. They were fast, but our kind was faster, and he had more than a three second head start on them.

_What about the other one? I smell two that aren't members of your family._

The antagonism in Paul's thoughts when he asked about Bella, even though he didn't know that it was Bella he was asking about, brought out my shortness of temper.

"That was Bella," I nearly growled.

_Easy, Edward._

I took Jasper's advice and curbed my tone the best I could. "Rosalie and Alice took her home."

For most creatures and beings, the sense of smell is often the first and main faculty used for identifying others. To have Bella's scent altered so drastically was difficult on Jacob. It was one of many harsh realities he would have to face, if he wanted to keep her in his life in some way.

He mentally spun more than a dozen connections between the Bella he had known before and the new scent he could now detect. She still appeared human in his mind, though he did try to imagine her with golden eyes. His attempt at acceptance eased my anger.

"It was better that she left." He was missing her greatly in that moment, but a meeting between them now would not have gone well.

She would feel frightened and threatened, and his instinctive hatred of our kind would drive him. They would both attack the other, any memory of their previous friendship ignored in the heat of the confrontation.

She would win, of course, because he would be no match for her newborn strength. Vampire venom was known to kill his kind instantly. There was no chance he would have transformed into one of us. In that he could count himself fortunate.

With him gone, and because of how he would be gone, the rest of his pack would waste no amount of time in trying to kill us. All of us, not just Bella, because we were responsible for her, and because they had never liked us.

Granted, that was the worst case scenario, but I would not take chances by assuming it was improbable.

_Did our brain picking session help her at all?_

"No…" He was abruptly disillusioned, just as she had been. "But perhaps our next session will be of help to her."

It seemed he wanted for that as much as I did, only for different reasons. I wished for her to remember herself so that I could truly know her, so that we could begin to forge our eternity together. He wished for her to because he wanted them to be able to resume their longtime friendship. Being around her grieving family had made him eager for that to be sooner rather than later.

_He's gone, Chief. What now?_

I could hear the echo of Sam's thought through his pack mates. I had been right; Laurent was too fast for the wolves to catch him, even though Jacob had sent his fastest runners.

_We regroup and continue patrolling. He won't get away again if he comes back._

Jacob gave me something akin to a nod and then left with the others, to meet up with the team that had split off. Emmett gasped in a lungful of air.

"That is the worst stench imaginable! I don't get how you can hang around them."

"I have not been around any of them except for Jacob," I corrected.

"He reeks, too!"

To that I smirked. "Yes, I am aware of his… odor, but if one stays upwind, it's not too insufferable."

"But why bother? Seems like more trouble than it's worth. She'll get her memories back eventually."

My brothers and I started for home, but at a slow, almost humanlike pace.

"Eventually is not a measure of time I have patience for. I can put up with the stench if it will benefit her in any way. Besides, I believe learning to tolerate it will be necessary."

"Why?" Emmett asked.

"Jacob is interested in retaining his friendship with Bella. If she is agreeable to that, my time around him would increase as well."

"You really think that's such a good idea?"

I knew by Emmett's thoughts what he meant by his question. "Jacob's feelings for Bella are not of a man for a woman. He sees her more like a sibling."

"Okay, sure, you would know, 'cause you can read his mind. But you can't read Bella's, right? What if, when she remembers again, it comes out that she's been all gooey eyed over him for years or something?"

I hadn't considered that. How had I not considered that? Jacob was not an unattractive kid – he was lean, and muscular, and probably seen as handsome by some. It was at least possible that she had hoped for more than friendship, and that Jacob was simply clueless to her feelings.

Jealousy was suddenly boiling inside of me. The unwanted images my mind conjured, of Bella in Jacob's arms, his lips pressed to hers, fueled the accompanying rage.

"_Mine_!"

Snarling, I spun around, set to backtrack and hunt the boy. I wasn't sure what I would have done if I had been allowed to reach him.

Sensing my intentions, Jasper tried to stop me, but I dodged his grasp easily. With Emmett, I wasn't so fortunate. Or perhaps it would be better said that I was. He prevented the destruction of an innocent man-child, and the ruining of countless lives, which would have inevitably followed in the wake of Jacob's death.

I avoided the earth in my face and growled at my brother. "Get off of me, Emmett."

"Not until you calm the hell down!" His full weight continued to crush me into the ground as Jasper worked to ease my emotions. "Killing the head pup is a bad idea! You think Bella is just going to be fine with you killing her friend?"

That settled my rage faster than Jasper could manage it. Emmett was right. Bella would hate me forever if I killed Jacob. She didn't deserve the heartache that would cause her.

And _he_ didn't deserve to die. His thoughts of her were always pure, unlike my own. I was the degenerate, not Jacob. If anyone deserved to die, it was me.

That I potentially had competition from this disregarded source was detrimental to my sanity. I wanted Bella, but if she didn't want me… If she wanted Jacob instead…

The pain that thought inflicted upon my frozen heart was equivalent to a thousand mortal deaths. Jasper winced and doubled his efforts, trying to help me through it.

"Maybe Alice is wrong," he suggested. "Maybe you should just claim Bella now, instead of waiting for some unknown opportune time. I think it would be a lot easier on you if you did."

"But not easier on Bella," I argued. Alice had told Jasper the details of her visions, but he couldn't see them like she and I could. I had seen Bella's reaction to my claiming her too soon. I would not frighten her like that.

"She's already bonding, Edward, she just doesn't know what it is. Maybe if you explain it to her first…?"

"I'm not sure how to."

"You're not sure how to explain it, or how to claim her?"

"Both. I know what is expected of me, logistically, but…"

Emmett howled with amusement, his hold on me slackening as he ruffled my hair. Taking advantage of that, I turned onto my back, put my foot against his chest, and launched him into the air, off of me and into a tree. He continued laughing as he dropped out of it and brushed the debris from his clothing.

"Leave it to you, trying to be all analytical about it. Mating isn't about _logistics_! It's raw, and instinctual, and hot as hell! You don't _plan_ it, you just _do_ it."

"What our crude brother is trying to say is that you're worrying about this needlessly. When the time comes, you'll know exactly what to do. Your instincts will guide you."

"No, what your crude big brother is trying to say is that you need to pull the stick out of your ass!"

I rolled my eyes. Emmett could be so childish at times. "I am older than you, Emmett. That makes me _your_ big brother."

"Yeah? Which one of us is _bigger_?"

He lunged, attempting to tackle me, but he had thought of it a moment before hurling his immensity at me. That was all the forewarning I needed to dodge his attack.

"Which one of us is faster?" I taunted. I then took off for home, pacing myself so that my brothers were never far behind, but so that I was always just out of reach.

Emmett was especially irritated by my tactic. _Stop cheating! Slow down and face off with me properly!_

"Are _you_ cheating by using your full strength?" I called back to him, grinning.

Jasper laughed, piecing together what Emmett had been thinking by my response. "He's got you there, Em."

"Fine! I'll take it down to fifty percent!" _That more than evens the playing field!_

I wasn't interested in an even playing field. I had spent enough time under Emmett for the day. Enough for the decade, actually.

"Then I'm allowed an additional ten percent, as I had reduced my speed to forty percent, not fifty."

I sped up that ten percent and, within seconds, left my brothers far behind me. This displeased Emmett; both aloud and in his thoughts he grumbled about my continuing unfairness. Jasper was amused.

I had to admit, I was as well. I wore a smile as I leapt across the river, but not only because of my immature brother's antics. I was eager to be home, to be in Bella's company once again.

She was waiting for me outside, as were Alice and Rosalie for Jasper and Emmett respectively, her expression a perplexing blend of angry and scared. My smile dropped as I stood before her, as her eyes roamed my body before locking with mine.

"What happened?" she asked. She sounded more scared than angry.

I had made her worry. Again.

I could hear Emmett and Jasper coming up behind me, but I ignored them and their thoughts. Emmett's were of a mischievous nature anyway. He was quite pleased that I seemed to be in some kind of trouble.

"Nothing happened," I assured her. "Laurent ran off."

She took in the full sight of me a second time, and then her expression turned incredulous.

Did she think I was lying? Why would I?

Admittedly, I was careful with the truths I had given her, but I had not once outwardly lied.

"Nothing happened?" Her tone was challenging, yet she still seemed concerned.

I couldn't make sense of it. What did she think had happened? What made her assume that anything at all had happened?

I sifted through my sisters' thoughts, hoping to find some clue to the mystery. Perhaps Bella had said something to them before I had arrived home.

_I've seen homeless people look less disheveled._

I saw myself through Rosalie's eyes, and then I looked down at myself, at my filthy attire. Bella must have determined by my state that I had been in a fight, probably with Laurent, since she hadn't known that the wolves were involved.

"No, Bella, nothing happened. Emmett tackled me—"

The sentence was still leaving my mouth when, suddenly, Bella growled and charged after an unsuspecting Emmett.

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

Insanely long (and just flat out insane) author's note in three… two… one…

Hi! Sorry it took so long getting this chapter out. Life sucks.

Seriously! Freaking! Sucks! I'm surprised I'm not insane yet.

Maybe I am.

Anyway… responses:

ADarnell: I will be going into some detail later on, explaining why Alice sees Bella freaking out when Edward tries to kiss her. But, simplistically, it's mostly because everything is new, including Edward, and she's not entirely stable, emotionally speaking. And, yeah, he could practice on me, too! (LOL!)

keitachibana: Yes, it is important, and, yeah, it's coming. (grin)

Xavier2163: I'm kinda doing my own thing with the control aspect. She didn't have any preparation, so I think that would make a difference, but I'm also leaning towards her having a little more control than the average newborn. So, she's kind of a mix – the best of both worlds, in a way. I can make her crazy or calm as I see fit! Muahahahaha!

(grin)

Okay, by show of hands, who has heard of The Hillywood Show?

'Kay, you can put your hands down. I can't actually see you. LOL!

Sorry… I am often amused by my lame attempts at humor.

Back to the subject… The Hillywood Show, for those who don't know, does Twilight parodies. One for each movie so far, and they are just brilliant, especially the one for Eclipse!

I enjoyed this parody so freaking much, that I actually created a side by side comparison video. It took me a week of painstakingly lining up scenes, literally by tenths of seconds, but it was worth it.

I did a little review of their Eclipse parody, which you can find on my personal webpage, and there you will find the links to their video, their YouTube channel, and my side by side comparison video. Just go to my profile, and the link to my webpage is there. If you're reading this on my webpage, never mind. You already know how to find it. (grin)

Shameless plug again, but to those who might be interested, you can purchase my novel, _**The Mengliad**_, on Amazon! It might make a good Christmas gift, if the summary doesn't grab you, personally.

And, actually, in a few weeks (I'm hoping), the cover will be changed, so if you like the old cover, you might want to order it sooner rather than later. And, hey, if the book ever becomes popular…

Okay, pause while I laugh hysterically at that…

Okay, where was I? Oh, right… _**If**_ it ever becomes popular, maybe the copies with the old cover will be worth more. You could resell it for dozens of dollars and buy yourself a snowcone!

LOL… I'm in a weird mood. Sorry. Did I mention my tenuous grip on sanity? (scrolls up) Yeah, I did.

Okay, so, I'm done being ridiculous now. Please review, as these few words from you are all I have to smile about at the moment.

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	12. Chapter 11

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Eleven

By: Jana~

**XXX**

It is not easy to surprise a vampire. It is harder still to surprise most members of my family.

There was no forewarning. Bella's emotions changed too quickly for Jasper to sense them in time, and there seemed to be no conscious decision to attack, leaving Alice blind to what was coming.

Of course we caught her before she could cause much damage, but it took Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and myself to pull her off of him. There were no coherent words of intent or explanation, only snarling, as she tried to free herself from our hold.

Emmett's shirt hung off him in tatters, allowing the deep scratches she had inflicted to be visible. He had looked worse in the past, occasionally after sparring with Jasper, but never had we seen his current expression of shock.

It was that expression that prompted Rosalie's laughter. "You just got your ass handed to you by a girl!"

Emmett ignored her teasing, his attention remaining on Bella. "What the hell! Is this retaliation for me tackling you or something?"

"I don't think it has to do with you tackling _her_, so much as you tackling _Edward_."

It seemed Alice's theory was accurate. As she voiced it, Bella's rage intensified.

Her actions had been aggressive, yes, but defensively. She was protecting me against Emmett, who hadn't actually assaulted me, but had restrained me for the greater good.

This level of fierce protectiveness is common amongst mated couples. The need to defend what is yours against all manner of attack, from simple to severe. The desire to protect the one you love, warding off any form of discomfort, physical or emotional.

I had been witness to this with my parents, and with my siblings as well, though I often questioned the necessity of protecting someone who clearly didn't require it.

A few times in the past, shortly after Emmett had started to blend into society with us, we'd had to move on to a new home, to a new town, because of his protectiveness of Rosalie. His temper had always been short when it came to other men looking at her, which was something I never quite understood. She was mated to him. Completely devoted. What did it matter if some drooling human male noticed her beauty?

It mattered, I now realized. I finally understood the behaviors I had struggled to comprehend before. The jealousy and possessiveness. The desire to do anything – be anything – for the other half of your whole. The need to protect, even when it wasn't strictly essential…

I finally understood it, but Bella did not. Jasper could feel the confusion blending with her anger, creating the volatile condition she was currently in. It was clearly upsetting to her, that she was instinctively behaving the way she was without knowing why.

I still didn't know how I would, but I needed to explain things to her. Not everything – not the depth of my feelings, or Alice's visions of our future together – but enough so that she was a little less confused.

It was the right thing to do, as difficult as it would be.

Before I could do that, however, I would have to calm her down. She was still fighting us, her murderous glare on Emmett.

"I wasn't trying to hurt him, Bella." There was a hint of laughter in his voice, his thoughts laced with amusement. Leave it to Emmett to find the humor in someone wanting to rip his limbs off.

But her rage would not be appeased so easily. His words did nothing except infuriate her further.

When he realized she would not listen to him, he looked to me for help. "Tell her, Edward."

I grinned, enjoying the upper hand in the game that was suddenly in play.

_Oh, come on! I don't want her to hate me! You're the only one she'll believe!_

I didn't want her to hate him, either. Not only that, but it was also wrong to use her like a pawn in some twisted attempt to exact revenge on my annoying, childish brother.

I dropped my smile and stood between them, blocking her view of Emmett. "Bella, Emmett wasn't fighting with me. He was…" …_stopping me from killing your friend._

That would not be a wise thing to say to her. As much as I despised myself for doing so, I would have to lie to her.

"…horsing around."

_Horsing around? Is that what you call preventing a homicide?_

I turned and glared at Emmett.

_Alright, alright! Geez! It's not like I said it out loud!_

I softened my expression before facing Bella once again. "I understand your concern for me, but Emmett meant no harm, I promise you."

She started to calm down, just a little, until Emmett leaned and peeked around me. A new snarl pulled at her lips.

"Bella." I said her name like I was scolding her, hoping the firmer tone would seep in past the ire and settle her. "You promised to behave."

Once again, she surprised me. Not just me, but my siblings as well. It was as if she had been hypnotized, then suddenly released from her trance by a word or sound. Her tension ebbed. Her gaze fell to the ground. She was feeling guilty again.

"I'm sorry, Emmett."

He smiled as he shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I've never really cared for this shirt, anyway."

"That was a gift!" Rosalie hissed.

Her anger was mostly for show. Alice had been the one to pick out that particular shirt. Rosalie just helped decide on the color, which was, ironically, what Emmett disliked most about it.

"Ass handed to me by a girl?" he said, repeating her earlier taunt. His forgiving smile turned into a mischievous smirk.

They both glared at each other, as if a fight was imminent, but I knew where their mock hostilities were really headed. As I grabbed Bella's hand and started to lead her away, I heard Alice and Jasper's concern trailing after me. Emmett and Rosalie were no longer aware of us, or anything else besides their odd version of foreplay.

"We won't go far." I would not risk that again, but I wanted some form of privacy with her, even if it was more an illusion than reality.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I don't know why I did that."

She sounded so distraught, anguished by her behavior. I stopped us walking and faced her. "Are you under the impression that I'm cross with you?"

No answer followed. She only stared at me in response, her eyes full of remorse and confusion. Full of emotions I could have prevented, had I been the kind of teacher she deserved.

Perhaps I should have asked Carlisle to be her mentor. With his wisdom and compassion, he was clearly the better choice for the role, yet I had selfishly demanded it for myself. In doing so I had failed her again, the effects irreversible.

I could not ask Carlisle to fill that role now. She had already bonded to me. It would distress her further if I were to suddenly relinquish my responsibility to another. And I didn't want to relinquish it. I just wanted to be better at it.

"I am not cross with you, Bella." I assured her of this in the gentlest voice I could create, as I raised her hand to my lips and kissed the back of it.

I had taken a chance, showing her such affection, but her response made the risk worthwhile. A soft hum of approval accompanied her slight smile. Her eyes drifted shut, like a long blink rather than a conscious effort to close them.

I had pleased her. Words could not express my elation. I burned with the desire to please her again. The pleasant fire warmed my ice cold existence.

Her happiness was my happiness. Her joy, her pleasure… I so badly wanted to experience them with her… through her…

The remains of Emmett's shirt being torn from his body jarred me from my thoughts. I retook Bella's hand, lacing our fingers together as I led her away.

"They're fighting because of me," she muttered.

"Trust me, they are not fighting."

"Seems like fighting to me."

"Yes, seems like. Emmett and Rosalie have an odd way of expressing… love."

"Wait. They're…?"

She tried to turn, to glimpse behind her, but I encouraged her not to by giving her hand a firm tug as I clutched it tightly to my chest. I didn't want her to witness their aggressive affections. It might have frightened her, assuming all vampires showed love in violent ways. I did not want her to think that such behaviors were my inclination, or expected of her.

My only inclination was to love her in any way that she wished. I would cherish her tenderly or break up the furniture with her, or anything in between. Whatever her desires, I would oblige, willingly and eagerly.

"Yes," I answered her, as we continued to put distance between my family and ourselves. "I apologize for their lack of discretion."

They were used to the invasion of privacy my ability created, so they often carried on as if I wasn't there, but they could have at least shown a little restraint around Bella.

"So, everyone in your family is… together?"

"Not everyone," I answered. Not until she said the words.

"Not you," she guessed.

Really, it was probably more an astute observation than a guess. Not that one needed to be so very astute to ascertain my relationship status. It was usually quite apparent.

"Not me," I confirmed. "I am the exception."

"I see."

Did she see? Did she truly understand that we were destined to be together? That I had been waiting for all of my very long existence, for her to join me and complete me?

Of course she didn't, but I wanted her to. I wanted her to know the depth of my feelings for her; that I adored her with every molecule of my being.

Soon. I wasn't just being cowardly, though truthfully, I was being so. It really was too soon for that kind of declaration. She barely knew me, and she had only been awake for just over twenty-four hours.

We continued to walk in silence, until my siblings' voices were a soft murmur of sound. Their thoughts were still obtrusively loud, but that was my burden to bear. I would not risk being out of earshot from my family. I had been planning to teach her, and I wasn't certain if anything she was about to learn would unnerve her.

I brought her up to an old, fallen log that was in view of the river, but closer to the finger of the forest that stretched out beyond its natural borderline. She sat after I gestured for her to, and then I joined her.

"I wish you would believe me, Bella." Her eyes alone questioned me, wide and expressive. "You don't upset me. You could never upset me." I moved with her when she looked away, returning to her line of sight and regaining her attention. "I'm speaking truthfully, Bella. I won't ever lie to you, I promise."

She seemed to consider that for a moment. "Why are you the only one not with someone?"

I had never felt more like a human in all of my existence. I felt like a little boy, scared to ask the girl I fancied if I may court her. "I will never lie to you, but I won't always be able to answer your questions."

My avoidance frustrated her. "Why can't you answer that?"

"I don't know how to answer it." Which was a lie. I had just broken my promise to her, seconds after making it.

"Answer it with the truth."

The truth would send her running away from me in terror. But perhaps I could give her a hint, just an inkling of my true feelings…

"I was waiting for someone special." I hesitated for six and a half seconds. "Do you know how special you are?"

She was intelligent and perceptive… would she hear my words for what they were and make the connection?

If she did, she did not acknowledge it. She turned away from me and scoffed. "If by _special_ you mean completely insane, then yes I do."

"You're not insane, Bella. I was wrong to use that term before." Rosalie had been right about that much. The word was too derogatory.

Her eyes met mine once again, curious and sharp. "That weird electrical thing when you touch me…? What is that?"

"That is a difficult question to answer." Unless I brought up the mating bond, which I did not think was a good idea.

"Meaning, you won't answer it."

I didn't like that I was frustrating her. I didn't want to be the cause of her disappointment. "What do you think it is?" I asked her. If she guessed it, I would confirm it.

"I don't know," she said in a whisper, as her gaze fell away from me, "but I like it."

It took every ounce of strength I possess not to pull her into my arms, to show her how amazing we could truly feel with each other. Instead, I settled for gently grasping her hand. If she was opposed to me doing so, she could have easily pulled away. To my absolute joy, she did not.

"I like it, too," I whispered back.

That admission earned me an exquisite reward. She smiled – just a slight upturn of her beautiful lips, but it was pure, unadulterated perfection. But then it vanished and she grew serious.

"You can read minds, can't you?"

The abruptness of the question surprised me. That she had discerned that about me so soon surprised me as well. It took Carlisle three days to realize my ability. Everyone else took longer than that, if they determined it at all.

"Yes."

I watched her carefully, worriedly, as I confirmed her assumption. I waited for her expression to turn to revulsion, for her to pull her hand away from mine, for her to run from me, but she did none of those things. She almost seemed to take it in stride.

"I thought so. Are there any exceptions? Is there anyone's mind you can't read?"

She really was amazingly perceptive. "Yes, there is an exception. Only one exception."

She didn't ask me to confirm that she was that exception. She knew. "Why? Is there something wrong with me?"

Her self-deprecation saddened me. I should have known she would place the blame on herself.

"No, there is nothing wrong with you. Carlisle believes it is related to your amnesia."

"So, when I get my memories back, then you'll be able to read my mind?"

I found it interesting that we had shared the very same thought. She seemed unnerved by it, though, rather than hopeful, as I had been.

Of course she was unnerved by it. Of course she wouldn't want her privacy invaded in that manner.

"He doesn't believe so."

That seemed to alleviate her unease. She shifted her position a little and leaned in toward me. "What's it like? How does it work? Do you have to be close by to the person, or can you be far away?"

Excitement joined her curiosity, her questions whispered conspiratorially, as if we were sharing secrets only the two of us were privy to. I rather liked that.

"If the voice is familiar to me, I can be farther away, but no more than a few miles. And it's a little like a hum of noise, until I focus. I usually just tune it out. Some things are better left unknown."

"Especially if people don't want it known."

She seemed pensive then. Perhaps even a little worried. Clearly, she would not be accepting of my reading her mind, even though she had been genuinely fascinated before.

If Carlisle was wrong, if I could hear her thoughts after she regained her memories, would she want nothing further to do with me? The mere notion terrified me.

"I try not to be intrusive. My ability is as much a curse as a gift, believe me."

"So, then, you're glad you can't read my mind?"

I had a decision to make, and it would not be an easy one. I wanted to be honest with her, but in doing so, I would expose my selfishness. I could avoid that if I lied to her, and she would surely never realize I had, but I would know I had. I would know that I had given her less than she deserved.

She deserved the truth, and I would always strive to give her what she deserved.

"I cannot say that I'm glad. Without question or hesitation, I would relinquish the ability to read minds, if only I could read yours."

Her hand twitched in mine. "Why?"

Again, I was brutally, foolishly honest. "Because, of all the thoughts in the world, your thoughts are the only ones I wish to know."

"You could just ask, you know."

When she smiled at me, I returned it.

"It might grow tiresome, as much as I would likely ask."

"It might. Or I might just use it as leverage. You know, to get _my_ way sometimes."

Her smile stretched as she looked away. She was being playful!

The laughter in her eyes, the teasing lilt in her voice… In all my decades, I had never once witnessed anything as adorable as playful Bella.

"And what way would you be trying to get?" I kept my tone light, being playful as well.

Her lips downturned a little, erasing her smile. All teasing left her tone. "I want to go with you, next time you go to see Jacob."

**To be continued…**

**Author's note:**

Ugh! I'm so sorry this took so long. You would just not believe how chaotic my life has been. I could tell you, but you would think I was lying. Seriously.

There are parts of this chapter I really like, but… yeah, I'm doubting and bashing myself again. Sorry.

Not beta-ed. My daughter glanced through it, but I don't think she really gave it much of her actual, undivided attention. So, hopefully, the mistakes are minimal.

Responses:

Xavier2163 – About four days since the prologue, about twenty-four hours since she has opened her eyes.

Kristin04 – This is a non-Bella-POV fic. Sorry.

HopeStreet – The thing with memories is, sometimes, you can remember things incorrectly. Studies have proven this, actually. And if Bella likes Jacob, but Jacob is oblivious, his memories would reflect that. See what I mean? But don't worry, folks, in this fic, Bella has never had feelings for Jacob.

Magicsquirrel – Yes, I know, I'm sorry. I promise you, updating has been one of my top priorities, I just had to write it first, and with all the chaos in my life currently, writing has been a struggle. I hope the update was worth the wait.

Since I won't be updating again before Christmas, I'll just take a sec to wish everyone a merry one, and if I don't see you before New Years, have a happy that as well!

Oh, and hey, anyone want to babble with me on Twitter? I don't chat much on there – more when I have a bout of writer's block – but I'm forever answering to what other people say. They're just usually celebrities, or talented folks on the climb to celebrity, and they almost never answer me back. My one-sided conversations with myself make me seem crazier than I am. I mean, I am crazy, but…

Anyway… anyone want to chat with me over there, my username is: janaonwheels.

Please review so I'll know if I should continue. It seems like maybe it's starting to suck a little bit.

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	13. Chapter 12

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Twelve

By: Jana~

**XXX**

Her request was predictable, only I had been too caught up in her playfulness to foresee it.

I could have lied – agreed to take her with me and then revoked it at the last moment – but I couldn't do that to her. I would have felt like a cad, raising her hopes like that only to dash them.

I felt like a cad, anyway, for having to deny her. She was expecting my answer, of course, but she was still upset by it. Her disappointment was hard to witness. The silent treatment that followed was even harder to endure.

For the next four hours, Bella refused to speak to me. She wouldn't even look at me, except to glare. After my tenth attempt to gain her understanding had failed, as I was about to lose my mind, Carlisle suggested I go for a run.

I ran as fast as I could for as long as I dared, hoping to find clarity in solitude. Well meaning as they might have been, my family's thoughts were not helpful to me. From advice to teasing to insults, I had not one moment's peace from the bombardment, no matter how I tried to tune them out.

Was it so wrong of me that I should want to protect Bella, to keep her safe from harm or heartache? Did she not realize that my instinct to protect was every bit as strong as hers?

No, of course she didn't. How could she, if I, her teacher, had never told her?

I had newfound sympathy for what Carlisle had gone through when mentoring Esme. The struggles he faced, deciding how much to tell her and when. His anguish when his lessons would upset her.

It had been different with me. I knew everything he was about to say and everything he wanted to keep from me the moment they entered his mind. Things were strained between us initially because of that, but we soon found that my ability made for an interesting educational experience.

With Rosalie, since she had been so focused on revenge, Carlisle was less a teacher and more a sentinel. He felt she was owed her justice against the monsters who ended her human life, and was therefore far too tolerant of the attention she had drawn. We left Rochester under the cloak of darkness, with many minds heavily suspicious.

Emmett had been more Rosalie's responsibility. He was difficult to reason with, and too strong for any one person – or two people – to restrain. Fortunately, he had been receptive to her womanly charms, and her sharp tongue. Not that he'd had the tiniest portion of the self-control that Bella was exhibiting.

Newborns cannot be calmed easily once they become frenzied. No amount of reasoning will reach them. Touching them when they are like that is dangerous, and a firm tone often infuriates them further.

Yet, with Bella, these rules didn't seem to apply, at least for as far as I was concerned. I doubted she would have reacted in the same way, had anyone else tried to touch her.

That thought thrilled me, allowing me to feel joy once again. My touch affected her like no one else's ever would. I alone could calm her. Console her. Excite her?

Suddenly, I longed to touch her. I wanted to ease away her anger, and help her understand that my actions were in her best interest, because I cared for her beyond measure.

If I could just get her to listen to me, and not continue to shut me out…

The run home seemed to take longer than the run away, but I attributed that to my being overly eager to see her again. When I entered my room, I found her on the chaise, writing in her journal. Angry words about me, no doubt.

I stood before her for a few moments, waiting for her to acknowledge my presence. She didn't, of course.

"Are you still refusing to speak to me?"

Her pen stopped moving, and then she glared at the pages in front of her. "Are you still refusing to take me with you?"

Answering her truthfully without incurring her wrath would not be easy. I considered my words carefully.

"I would grant you your every wish if I could, provided those wishes do not place you in danger."

She huffed in irritation as she slammed her journal closed. "How can I prove myself to you if you won't let me?"

"Bella, you have only been awake for one day. We should take things slowly."

Not just the things that would challenge her control, but all things. Sitting beside her, I took her hand in mine, hoping to convey the subtler meaning behind my words. There was no rush. I wasn't going anywhere. I would wait for her.

She looked up at me through her long, thick lashes. "It feels like longer."

It seemed so to me as well, in part because I had spent all of the three days that she was transforming by her side. Did it seem like longer to her because she was aware of my presence during those many hours? I was eager to know, but could not think of a subtle way to ask.

"It does," I agreed. "Time spends differently to our kind."

"I've noticed." She exhaled heavily, a sign that her frustration was rising. "Why did you send me away?"

She was still upset with me for doing so. Her tone held bitter hurt. "I did, only for your protection."

"I'm not as in need of protecting as you think I am," she muttered.

She was in more need than she realized, but how to express that without frightening or incensing her?

"Do you consider _me_ to be in need of protecting?"

Hours earlier, she had attacked Emmett in my defense. I presumed she would understand what I was asking her and why.

"No." Her answer was whispered as she hung her head.

Was this action out of guilt? Embarrassment? I didn't want for her to feel either of those things. I was just attempting to make a point. "It is our nature to be protective of those we… we care about."

Her mood shifted back to frustrated. "Is it also _our_ nature to be so evasive?"

"I have reasons for my ambiguity." Some of those reasons were for her benefit, some were due to my cowardice.

"You say you want to be my teacher, but sometimes, it seems like you want the title without the responsibility."

Was that how she had interpreted my reluctance to share certain lessons with her? What an odd conclusion to have come to. I cared nothing about the title. I only cared about her.

"The title is unimportant. I just don't want to overwhelm you."

"But the not knowing makes it worse."

"Knowledge isn't always better. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss."

I wanted her existence to be bliss for at least a little while longer, before her memories returned and the realities set in, but it seemed she would not allow for that. She was too eager to learn all she could, as quickly as was possible.

She scoffed, as if annoyed by the adage. "And sometimes, ignorance is maddening."

I knew about maddening. Her silent mind was that and more.

"Perhaps we can help each other, then," I suggested. This seemed to intrigue her.

"Help each other how?"

"How about an equal exchange?" I proposed. "A question for a question."

Her eyes narrowed on me a little. "Any question, and you'll answer it? _Actually_ answer it?"

I was not surprised by her skepticism. Of course she had noticed my careful responses. She knew I was holding information back from her.

"Yes, provided you answer yours." Fair was fair, after all.

"How many do I get? Not counting these," she rushed to add, "because I'm just trying to figure this out."

Figure this out? Was it complicated? Or maybe she thought… "I'm not trying to trick you, Bella. Let's try three questions to start with." That would give me the chance to end the session if I felt the need to.

She gave her first question serious consideration before asking it. "Why are my eyes red?"

This question was not unexpected. Her reaction earlier, when I had been speaking with Laurent, told me it was coming eventually. I had tried to explain it to her before, when she had panicked after seeing the color of her eyes, but because she was panicking, she clearly hadn't heard me.

"Your eyes are red because your human blood still lingers in your tissues."

She scowled. "You told Laurent that it's the consequence of diet, but how is my diet different from yours?"

Because her second question was related to the first – a follow up for clarification – I wouldn't count it as one of the three she was allowed.

"There is no difference in our diet," I assured her. "The color of your eyes will change in time, provided you abstain from drinking humans."

It was my turn to ask her a question, and since we were on the subject…

"Why did seeing the color of your eyes upset you so badly?"

She was quiet for several seconds. Pensive. Was this a difficult question for her to answer?

"I didn't think this through," she said finally. Softly. What did she mean by _that_? Before I could ask her, she whispered, "I wasn't expecting them to be different. Yours were black at the time."

She hadn't been upset that they were red, only that they were not the same as mine. Was that why the inhuman appearance of her skin had not upset her? My skin was noticeably identical to hers.

"They were black because I had not hunted in a while."

"Because you stayed with me while I was changing."

So she _was_ aware of my presence. I wanted to feel glad for that, but her tone was pitched oddly, making it difficult for me to decipher. Was she unhappy that I had kept vigil by her side?

"Yes."

"Why?" she asked abruptly.

"You were suffering. I didn't want for you to go through that alone." I didn't want for her to go through it at all. I would have taken her place and endured it all again – the endless fire and burning – if I could have.

"I knew you were there, but I…"

When she trailed off, my patience faltered. Was she _trying_ to drive me mad? "Bella, please, you have no idea how frustrating it is when you do that."

"Do what?"

Was she honestly unaware? "Leave your sentences unfinished."

"Oh. Sorry. I was just going to say that I knew you were there, but that I thought you were an angel."

Me, an angel? I would have laughed, had the idea of it not been so absurd. I was the farthest thing from an angel. She had clearly been delusional during her transformation.

"What brought you to that conclusion?"

"Your voice. When you spoke, if I focused on it – really focused – the pain seemed almost bearable."

Knowing that, I wished I had spoken more. Of all the ways I had tried to help her, it hadn't occurred to me that the sound of my voice would be the most beneficial. "I'm glad my presence offered you at least some comfort."

"It did. Thank you."

"I will always be here for you, Bella – to help you, to comfort you – for as long as you want me to be. I hope you know that."

I had meant for that to be soothing, but instead it seemed to embarrass her. Evidently, Alice had been right. If declaring something that simple unsettled her, admitting the depth of my feelings for her would certainly unhinge her.

"Is it my turn to ask another question?"

She was trying to change the subject. I didn't draw attention to her obvious tactic of evasion. I didn't wish to embarrass her further. "Yes, go ahead."

"What was Laurent thinking when you got mad at him?"

"He recognized James' mark," I answered, tracing the silver skin of her scar – the symbol of her unwarranted damnation. It also represented her entrance into my world; her abrupt appearance on the path of my existence. About that I could not think negatively. The joy of that was difficult to reconcile, as I loathed what James had done to her.

"Why does it matter that he recognized it?"

There was so much she didn't know, a true innocent in this world. I hated that I was chipping away at her purity, leaving her raw and exposed to the horrors.

"It is a centuries-old belief that a new vampire will essentially belong to the one who changed them."

"Belong? I would have _belonged_ to James?"

The idea of it made me ill and furious simultaneously. "No. He wasn't planning on changing you."

"He was just planning on drinking me."

I could see it in her expression. Hear it in her tone. Sense it emanating from her body as she tensed. Her fear was elevating, and at an alarming rate. I needed to calm her before she was lost again to her newborn emotions.

"James is dead, Bella. He can't hurt you. He can't claim you as his."

"If that were true, you wouldn't have gotten mad at Laurent. There's something you're not telling me."

Her perceptiveness really was impressive, and potentially problematic. I would be honest with her, because I promised her I would be, but I knew that by doing so, I was about to upset her.

"Laurent is an old vampire. He subscribes to those old beliefs of ownership. That belief also encompasses the idea that, if the owner is no longer around, his or her mate would then have rightful ownership."

"Victoria? Victoria _owns_ me?" She was starting to panic. She gasped in breaths like a human might when terrified. "I don't want Victoria to own me! I want to stay with _you_!"

"She doesn't own you, Bella. These beliefs are not law, merely an obsolete concept."

My words did little to soothe her. She was on the brink of unhinging, her eyes wild, her fingers digging into the chaise, pulverizing the cotton-filled material beneath her hands. Desperate to stop her from plummeting into insanity, I moved closer to her, bringing her up against my side as I wrapped my arm around her.

The change in her was nearly instantaneous. She was not just accepting of my consoling affection, she welcomed it. Pressing her body into mine, she tucked her head beneath my chin. I could feel her breaths becoming even and rhythmic.

Her response to me was nothing short of amazing. Jasper had been right. Not that I doubted him, but the truth of it was still confounding. Bella had bonded to me, even though she was a newborn, barely over twenty-four hours old.

I molded my fingers into the curve above her hip. I kissed her hair, my lips lingering as I breathed her in. Her scent bewitched me, transporting me to a freesia filled meadow at the height of springtime. I succumbed to its magic, but then spun the fantasy in my favor, imagining Bella had joined me there.

"I think it's your turn to ask a question."

She sounded distant, as if lost in thought or dreams. Were they of me, like mine were of her?

I was so entranced by her, all the questions I had considered asking left my mind, save one. "What did you mean, when you said 'I didn't think this through'?"

"I was so focused on getting answers to _my_ questions, I didn't think about having to answer yours."

She had felt the need to be guarded with her responses. She wasn't ready to be wholly and completely open with me yet. Not yet ready to be that emotionally bare. I could wait until she was. Our conversations would then be effortless, as Alice had seen in her visions.

Her visions now were of an entirely different nature.

"When, Alice?"

I would have asked Esme herself, but she was just out of earshot, out hunting with Carlisle.

"She'll be making the call when she gets back. He'll be here at nine-forty-eight tomorrow morning."

Bella left my side, suddenly on alert. "Who will be here?"

"Esme wishes to put in a call to the glass repairman, to fix the walls of the house. Since he is human, we should not be here when he arrives."

"We?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You're staying with me?"

"Yes."

_Good thinking. Esme won't be too happy if Bella drinks her favorite repairman._

Ignoring Emmett's callous attempt at humor, I offered Bella my hand as I stood, thrilling at our connection when she accepted and joined me.

"We won't need to be away for long. He is familiar with this type of repair, what with Emmett's frequent lack of restraint."

"Hey," Emmett announced from the living room, "that last time was _your_ fault, not mine!"

"No, it wasn't. I told you I wasn't playing," I reminded him as Bella and I descended the stairs. "You should not have thrown me the ball."

"I was hoping you'd be normal for once and catch it anyway!"

"Our definitions of what constitutes as normal differ greatly, Emmett."

He laughed, jumping off the couch like an excited child when we entered the room. "My definition's the right one," he said. Then his attention was on Bella. "Hey, you look like you're feeling better! No harm, no foul, okay? Bygones be bygones and all that?"

She nodded and looked to the floor, guilt-ridden again. The subject needed to be dropped. Like Jacob had said, Bella clearly didn't like to be the center of attention. She wanted to be inconspicuous. Blend in.

We needed to engage in some sort of mundane activity, like watching television, or playing a game. In retrospect, we should have chosen a game. What happened next was as far removed from mundane as could be possible.

Within three seconds' time, as I decided to and then implemented turning on the television, Alice got a vision of what would appear on the screen, and then it did appear. And then everyone froze.

There on the screen, in high definition, was a picture of Bella, and the request to call the Forks police department if anyone had any information on her whereabouts.

The shock wore off, and I was lucid enough to press the power button. Bella immediately hissed, baring her teeth at me.

"Turn it back on!" she roared.

Fearing what she might do if I didn't, I clicked the button again. The story was still being covered – the story of her disappearance – and now they were interviewing her father, Chief Swan.

And that was exactly what it said on the bottom of the screen. 'Chief Charlie Swan, missing girl's father.'

"She was last seen leaving school," he said to the reporter beside him, "but we know she made it home because her truck was in the drive. We don't believe she went into the house, because the door was locked and her backpack wasn't inside. But it wasn't in her truck, either, so she probably still has it with her. We thought at first that she'd wandered into the woods and gotten lost, but after days of careful searching, we have found no evidence of her being there. We are now looking into the possibility of… of foul play. If anyone knows anything – has seen anything – please, call…"

I turned the television off then, knowing by Bella's expression that she had seen enough.

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

I am _so_ sorry it's taken me this long to post. My life is beyond chaotic right now.

Firstly, minutes after posting the last chapter, my sister and her kids showed up at the door. They live in a different state, so you can imagine my surprise to see them standing there! My daughters arranged for them to come out for the holidays and surprise me! It was my Christmas present!

So, for two weeks, I didn't do much writing, because I was spending time with them.

Then, all hell sort of broke loose. I think my civil rights are being violated, or something, but I can't afford to hire a lawyer to find out for sure, or fight it. It's very hard to wrap my brain around creative writing when all I want to do is go fetal and cry. Ya'know?

Hopefully, my craptacular life, and the crap going on in it, hasn't affected this chapter too horrifically. I apologize if it sucks.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, and MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	14. Chapter 13

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Thirteen

By: Jana~

**XXX**

It felt like the calm before the storm. That surreal moment before nature unleashes its wrath, leaving devastation in its wake.

Silent and motionless, Bella stared blankly ahead of her, seemingly unaware of the argument my family was engaged in.

Bella's father had made a passionate plea to the public, asking for any information on his daughter's whereabouts. If they had found the obscure clearing where Bella had been attacked and immortalized, it was unanimously believed that he would not have done so.

"Emmett's right," Rosalie asserted. "We should just call the anonymous tip line."

"No," Jasper argued. "The risk is too great. Calls can be traced. Voices recognized."

Emmett scoffed. "You're being paranoid. We could make the call from some random payphone in the middle of downtown Seattle, in the middle of the night, and be home within minutes to establish an alibi, if need be."

"And how would some random person in Seattle happen to know anything about an animal attack in Forks? It'll raise flags, Emmett, which is something we should be avoiding. We should not give them a reason to look too closely at things."

"Jasper's right," Alice interjected, "but we should do _something_ to get their attention. Otherwise, some of the evidence will vanish with the rains."

She was referring to the blood. The venom-poisoned blood I had pulled from Bella's body and spit out as I attempted to save her humanity. That, along with her shredded backpack and pieces of the shirt she had been wearing, would be enough for the police to conclude what we had wanted them to. That she had been attacked and killed by a wild animal. They would assume the animal had eaten her, or most of her, and then what remained finished off by scavengers.

Without that blood evidence, they might still hold on to the hope of her being alive. That would help no one, prolonging the inevitable grief to come. If I could help lessen their pain – her parents' pain, specifically – I would do so, not only for Bella's sake, but also in restitution to the people responsible for her existence. I could not return their daughter to them, but if I could, in any way, help them to move on without her, I would.

The arguing ceased, their thoughts especially loud in the silence of the room. They were waiting for my opinion.

"Yes, agreed."

My eyes remained on Bella. Her emotional state continued to teeter precariously, despite Jasper's full attempt to ease and balance it.

"What exactly is it that you're agreeing to, Edward?" Carlisle asked me, his thoughts patient and without worry. His lack of concern was the only reason mine had not risen.

"We should, in a discreet manner, draw their attention to the clearing. They deserve to find peace with closure."

Outwardly, there was no change in my father's staid appearance, but inwardly he was beaming with pride, pleased by my level of compassion. This did not seem consequential to me. Of course I would care about those whom Bella loved, even if she could not remember her love for them currently.

As I had been granted the exquisite gift of her company for all of eternity, the responsibility lay upon me to make amends to those who had been robbed of that gift. Never knowing what had happened to their daughter, their neighbor, their friend, would cause them undeserved suffering, a false sense of hope that would linger painfully for years or decades.

I would not wish the agony of that on anyone.

"The problem then becomes _how_." Jasper was not against the idea, merely concerned about inadvertently implicating the family. He would not be accepting of any plan that might do so. "How do we _discreetly_ draw their attention?"

I tuned out their continued bickering, uninterested in the minor details of whatever strategy they devised. They only needed to tell me my part in it after they had things decided. What I was interested in – what troubled me, more accurately – was Bella's present state. She almost seemed catatonic, though I knew that she was not. She was fighting with herself, attempting to control the panic that was threatening to break free.

Jasper had given up trying to help her, as he was finding his gift completely ineffective, much to his disconcertment. He instead offered his expertise of military tactics, since he felt useful in that capacity. He remained watchful of her, however, certain that she was about to lose her battle of self-restraint.

They were all aware of her current instability, but had been following Carlisle's example, taking their cues from him on how to behave. He was the epitome of calm, carrying on with the family meeting as if nothing was amiss at all.

But of course he was all too aware of her volatility.

"Edward? Bella? Is there anything you wish to add?"

My father truly is a wise man. That was the opening Bella had needed. An undemanding question about anything but her specifically.

She spoke carefully – deliberately – as if her words would cause a cataclysm of epic proportions. "I still can't remember anything."

"Yes, that is to be expected." Carlisle's tone was gentle and soothing, the kind he typically used when speaking with his patients. "It could take some time before your memories return."

"But, seeing him…"

The distress in her eyes, hearing it in her voice… It pained me that she was struggling against the urge to flee, desperate to keep herself in check.

I gripped her hand tighter, encouraging her to finish her incomplete sentence, even as her nails sank into my flesh. Fortunately, they were short, barely past the tips of her fingers.

"Why didn't it trigger something?" she asked.

She stared back at me then, waiting. Waiting for what? What did she need from me? I wanted to know. I wanted to help her.

"Amnesia sufferers will not always regain their memories—"

Bella hissed, interrupting Carlisle's explanation. "You said it was temporary!" she snarled at him.

He did not so much as blink at her outburst. "Yes, but your memories might not return abruptly, as with a trigger object, or by seeing a loved one. For some, they return slowly, over time."

His words were not comforting to her, as he had hoped they would be. She dug her nails deeper into my hand, as if anchoring herself to the spot beside me. Her body shook with the low rumble that emanated from deep within her. Nature was about to win over strength of will.

Fearing that she was about to attack Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett leapt in front of him, growls of warning ripping from both of them. The need to protect my mate eclipsed all else, provoking me to react in an unbefitting manner. I left Bella's side and confronted my brothers aggressively.

"Stay away from her!" I roared, crouched and at the ready to fight them. I would not win, but I would not quietly allow their threatening Bella.

"No fighting."

Esme had used her firm, no nonsense tone of voice. We all knew better than to cross her, Emmett especially. He was already in her bad graces for tracking muddy footprints through the house, week before last. Muttering an apology, he backed down immediately. Jasper, however, remained vigilant.

"She wasn't going to attack him, Jasper," I said, forcing composure. Of course he knew my mood did not match my outward demeanor. I was angry, just as he would have been had I threatened Alice in any way.

_You don't know that, Edward. You can't read her mind._

"Neither can you. Her emotional state and what actions might have followed are two wholly different things."

_It's better to err on the side of caution. She's too unpredictable presently, and since I can't influence her—_

"You were hasty. I will not allow you to threaten her because she hinders your ability."

_I won't allow her to attack another member of this family, Edward. She's already attacked Emmett._

I scoffed. "His shirt was the only casualty."

_Thankfully. She's not even aware of her own strength yet. You would have her realize that against our father?_

His insinuation, essentially questioning my loyalties, aggravated me. I would not have to choose between Bella and my father. Alice would have foreseen that.

"She was not going to attack him, Jasper," I repeated, firmer that time.

_If you could read her mind, I would believe you without a doubt, but since you can't, these words are only your assumption. I will not gamble odds on your wishful thoughts._

They were more than just my wishful thoughts. Even if her instincts were leading her to violence, she would not have acted upon them. She had been doing all within her power to stay seated beside me.

"She was anchoring herself to me." I held out my hand as proof. The wounds she had inflicted were healed, but the silverish discoloration remained.

Jasper inspected the fading scars for a moment, his thoughts becoming contrite. Though he did not apologize, his conceding the argument was adequate under the circumstances. He retook his place beside Alice, as I did mine next to Bella. She immediately reached for my hand, running her fingers lightly over the marks she had created.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I offered a small, forgiving smile in acceptance of her apology, but her guilt did not abate.

"Now that we are all calmer, shall we continue?"

Carlisle was displeased by our quarrelling, yet his tone held not the slightest hint of reproach. It was so very like him to be discreet, waiting until he could have time alone with us, individually, before reprimanding our inappropriate behaviors. He seldom had to with me. He did so often with Emmett.

"I think Bella and I should excuse ourselves from the rest of the meeting." She had seen and heard enough. Distressing her further would be in no one's best interest, least of all hers.

"Yes, of course. Your brothers can advise you of the finer details, later this evening."

Later, when I would have to, once again, leave Bella. I was not looking forward to that. Almost as unpleasant would be the task of telling her. She did not like it when I left her. I didn't like it, either.

She followed me silently to my room, her head hanging from the guilt she was still feeling. I needed to release her from it, somehow.

"Will you share your thoughts with me, Bella? Please?"

When she dropped my hand and stepped over to the missing glass wall on the far side of my room, I felt a rush of panic. Was she so upset that she would attempt escape? I tensed, prepared to chase after her if she did. To my relief, she merely sat on the ledge, her legs then swinging as they dangled.

"Jasper hates me."

"He doesn't hate you." I joined her, but kept several inches between us. "He was just being protective of Carlisle."

"I didn't want to attack him, but it felt like I was going to anyway. Like I didn't have any control over it."

She had more control than she realized. That was, in part, why Jasper had behaved so unreasonably. She confused him. Even as he sensed her anger and panic growing, she showed no intention of acting upon it, until she had started growling.

"Control of your instincts will not come easily. It often takes years of practice."

She scowled in response. "Fantastic. And in the meantime, everyone can live in fear of what the crazy, irrational newborn will do next."

I laughed at her sarcasm, and at the notion that we feared her. Her scowl deepened. "I apologize for laughing. Are you of the impression that we're afraid of you?"

"You should be." She scoffed. "I am."

She was afraid of herself? The thought of it saddened me. "You needn't be afraid, Bella. We won't allow anything to happen that you might later regret."

Again, she scoffed. "I already have regrets," she muttered.

She had regrets? I winced as I considered what they might be. "Will you share them with me? Perhaps I can help."

"Help with what? The damage is already done." Her agitation was climbing again.

"What damage?" I asked.

When she leapt to her feet, I scrambled to mine, on alert for any rash decision to panic or flee that she might make. Surprisingly, she only gestured largely to the missing glass wall. Then she gestured to the chaise.

"And that's just the damage in _your_ room! I've only been a vampire for a day, and I've already singlehandedly destroyed two glass walls, your couch, and Emmett's shirt!"

I couldn't help but laugh, though I wished I could have. Crossing her arms, she glared back at me, unamused.

"Again, I apologize for laughing, but Bella, please, you cannot possibly think that these inconsequential mishaps are worthy of regret."

"Attacking people isn't an _inconsequential mishap_, Edward."

"Agreed, but it is commonplace. Emmett is a testament to that."

"Hey," he complained, suddenly in my doorway, "if you're gonna tell stories, at least tell it like it is! You goaded me!"

"In what way did I goad you, Emmett?"

He scoffed, as if the answer were obvious. "Fastest way to get someone to do something is to tell them not to do it!"

"When dealing with a child, perhaps," I retorted. "May we help you with something?" His thoughts narrowed onto why he had come to my room, and I rolled my eyes. "Why?" I asked.

"It's broken, right? Why do you care?"

"I guess I don't," I muttered truthfully. I would need to replace it, though. As I nodded my consent to Emmett, Alice's thoughts turned giddy with excitement. "Yes, Alice, fine," I said with a sigh. Since she loved to shop, and I didn't care to, it would be mutually beneficial to us both, for me to hand the reins of that particular task over to her. Already she was on the computer, logging in.

"Head's up, Jazz-ma-taz!" Emmett lobbed the cushions from the chaise out of the room, through the missing wall, before picking up the chaise itself and following after them.

You become accustomed to your family members' quirks and idiosyncrasies through the years. Their strange behaviors seem almost normal after time. But then someone new comes along, looking for all the world like the whole lot of them are crazy, and it brings to your attention just how odd they really are.

Bella stared back at me, bewildered. "Do I even want to know?" Her eyes shifted in the direction Emmett had just left in.

"Probably not," I said, smiling. She smiled then, too, but only for a moment. It faded as she grew serious once again.

"What is Jasper's ability?" she asked.

Of course she had caught my slip earlier. I had not considered my words first before speaking, too focused on defending Bella and managing my temper.

"He can read and control emotions. Moods."

I could see that she was contemplating the full significance of that. Her scowl returned. "Am I _one_ of the exceptions, or the _only_ exception?"

"You are the _only_ exception. He can read you, but it seems he cannot influence you." I watched her reaction closely, to see if guilt would show within her expression, as I suspected it would. I sighed when it did.

She was blaming herself again, just as she had done before, when learning that she was the exception to my gift as well. I took her chin between my thumb and finger, gently, encouraging her to meet my eyes, and repeated the same words I had said to her then. "There is nothing wrong with you, Bella."

She only stared back for the longest of moments, until something outside caught her attention. A loud crashing sound followed, and then Emmett laughed boisterously.

I knew what had happened, but Bella seemed confused. I gestured for her to follow me, up to the ledge that overlooked the edge of the forest below.

"You realize, I hope, that with the slightest miscalculation, you will end up destroying Esme's garden. Again. Do you really wish to spend another afternoon trying to locate your arms?"

Bella laughed, but immediately clapped her hand over her mouth to stop herself. "Esme ripped his arms off and hid them from him?" she whispered.

Emmett grimaced and I grinned.

"Yeah, fine," he muttered. "Jazz, let's take this game down by the river."

"What game are they playing, exactly?" Bella asked me.

"Emmett doesn't bother to name the games he invents. Imagine a game of ring toss, only instead of a ring, it's a chaise, and instead of a stake, it's a two hundred foot fir tree."

She laughed again, making no attempt to contain it that time. The sound of her happiness – happiness that _I_ inspired – thrilled me beyond description. "I'm imagining that there won't be much left of the couch by the time he's finished with it."

"More often than not, Emmett plus boredom equals destruction."

Her smile remained for a few seconds, but sadness soon took its place. "You're leaving again tonight, aren't you?"

I joined her in that sad place. "Yes."

"I don't suppose it would do any good for me to ask to go with you?"

Her tone held hopefulness, her eyes wide and pleading. I desperately wanted to grant her wish, but knew that I could not. We would be meeting with the wolves.

"I'm sorry."

She sighed and moved away from me, scuffing her feet across the floor in frustration. "Don't worry, I'm not going to freak out on you. I wish you'd trust me, though."

"Bella, please, it's not a matter of distrust. What can I say to prove that to you?"

Without answering, she stepped up to my shelf and brushed her fingers along the row of books that were easiest for her to reach. She selected my first edition Wharton, opened it, smirked, then closed it and put it back. Was she interested in reading? Was my taste in literature amusing to her?

"What can you say to prove it…" she murmured softly, turning so that I could not see her face. Her index finger traced several titles in silence. "You won't take me with you to see Jacob, because it's _him_ you don't trust." She glanced at me over her shoulder.

"Correct," I said, scowling. Where was she going with this?

Her attention returned to my books. "I can't go with you tonight because, I'm assuming, it would be dangerous for me to, and you want to protect me from that." She chose one of many titles by Hemingway that I owned and began thumbing through it, carefully.

"Yes," I said, still scowling.

"Tomorrow…" She finally turned and faced me, extending the book she held toward me. "When we leave while the repairman is here… That's not to see Jacob. We won't be going someplace dangerous, right?"

I could see then what she was trying to accomplish. "Bella…" I relieved her of the book, gently taking it from her hand.

She knew what I was going to say. She huffed and stomped away from me, over to where the chaise used to sit, and dropped herself to the ground, cross-legged. "You're afraid to be alone with me."

I joined her, in a less dramatic fashion. "I'm not afraid of you, Bella."

"Prove it." She stared over at me, determinedly. "Let's just you and me go tomorrow, to that meadow, maybe, or wherever you want to go. I'll behave myself, I swear."

I allowed myself to imagine, for just a moment, us alone in that meadow, enjoying the sun on our skin as we lounged and conversed about topics of interest. Was she imagining a similar excursion? Suddenly, I found myself excited over the possibility.

She was eager to spend time with me. Eager to show me that she could control her newborn tendencies. Perhaps it was folly to hope that she could, but she had already demonstrated amazing restraint. She had already proven herself unique. I wanted to give her the benefit of doubt. I wanted to give her the chance she was requesting of me. I owed her that much, at least.

"This is important to you, isn't it?"

I knew it was, and I knew why. She wanted to please me. She truly had bonded to me.

Her eyes lit up, her body tense in anticipation of my decision. She had sensed that I was about to yield. "Yes, it is," she said.

"Then we will go alone, to the meadow if you'd care to."

Her joy was on a level I had not yet seen. Her smile grew impossibly wide, and then she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me to her. Tightly.

"We'll bring a few books, maybe," she suggested excitedly, considering how we might spend the day. "How long will we need to be gone?"

_About five and a half hours. Maybe make it six to be safe._

"Thank you, Alice," I muttered under my breath. "About six hours," I said to Bella.

_I think everything will be okay. Too many variables to know for sure._

"Yes, Alice, thank you." I didn't want to know too much about how the day would go. Some things were better left unknown, until they could be experienced. As long as she saw Bella safe, and us returning home without major incident or catastrophe, the rest I would wait to learn.

I was eager to learn with her.

Bella pushed away from me, abruptly, her expression wary. "What was she thinking?"

I was honest with her, for the most part. "There are too many variables for her to see much about the day."

Her body slumped and her gaze landed on the floor. Her joy had dissolved. "So, we're not going."

I lifted her chin, bringing her attention back to me. "We will still be going," I told her.

Her smile was contagious. Her joy had returned, and she almost knocked us to the floor as she expressed it. My strength was barely enough to keep us sitting upright as she threw herself back into my arms. That time, I held her as tightly as she held me, until I felt her start to pull away.

She seemed embarrassed as she created space between us. The moment, as brief as it had been, was too intense. I needed a distraction. I wanted her to be comfortable in my presence again.

I held up the book she selected, reminding her that she had. "Were you interested in reading this with me?"

Her shy smile turned grateful.

**To be continued…**

**Author's note:**

(Wipes sweat from brow)

So, how we all doin'? Sorry about the delay in updating… my hectic life got all hectic and stuffs. Some good news, though!

My little 'civil rights' problem has been resolved! I can't really go into detail, but I want to thank everyone for their words of support and assistance! I greatly appreciate that!

And in other news… I have been nominated for an award! Well, this fic has been nominated, more accurately. They're called The Vampies, and 'Harvest Moon' has been nominated in the category: Bloody Newborn – best characterization of a newborn vampire. I don't know who nominated me, but to the person or persons who did… thank you! It means a great deal to me that you thought enough of my fic to do so!

You win by popular vote, so if you like this fic, or just like me enough to want to make me squeal with joy, head on over to my website for links and details on how to vote. You can find the link to my website in my profile. If you're reading this on my website, never mind, you already know how to get there. Here. (grin)

I wanted to tell a little story, and share the back story on one of the jokes in this chapter…

My oldest son, Ian, will not admit to being a Twilight fan, but he kinda is. He's watched all the movies with me a few times. He's asked a million questions about _Breaking Dawn_, and what happens past the events in _Eclipse_, and he's even had multiple chats with me about this fic. He even helped me hone the idea of Emmett playing 'couch toss' with Edward's broken chaise! LOL!

In the movie _Eclipse_, during the battle scene, Jasper jumps on a newborn's back and rips his arms off, flinging them behind him into the field. Every time – and I mean _every time_ – that happens, Ian says: "Go find your arms!" It's become our little inside joke. As a nod to my son and that joke, I decided to include it, in a way, in this chapter.

The idea of Esme ripping Emmett's arms off and hiding them from him had us laughing for days! Hopefully, y'all found it humorous as well. (smile)

Quick little mention… my novel, 'The Mengliad', is available for sale again, with the new cover, on Amazon, and now on Barnes and Noble as well! Paperback, Kindle (Amazon), and NOOKbook (B&N). Kindle and NOOKbook versions are only 99 cents!

Okay, I think I've babbled on long enough. Again, I apologize for the delay in updating. It is one of my top priorities, I promise.

Thanks for reading, and please review!

MTLBYAKY


	15. Chapter 14

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Fourteen

By: Jana~

**XXX**

Reading with Bella was quickly becoming a favorite pastime. With my chaise in a tree somewhere down by the river, we instead sat against the wall, her very near to me. As the pages turned and the time passed, she drew closer, eventually resting her head upon my shoulder.

I wished for more hours in the afternoon, and for more pages within the book we were reading, so that I would have longer to enjoy the intimacy of her position. She seemed to have a similar thought, or so my wishful inclinations had me believe. Upon entering the final few chapters, she began reading slower than she was capable of, prolonging the inevitable end, but by minutes only.

At the end of those minutes, I reluctantly closed the book, assuming that she would move away from me when I did. Instead, she only sighed.

"I wish you didn't have to leave. I always freak out when you leave. I don't like feeling like that."

"I regret the concern it causes you." I hated seeing the fear and panic in her eyes. "I would stay with you if I could."

I resented my so called gift more in that moment than ever before. If not for my ability, my family could have dealt with the wolves and implemented the plan without me, and I would have then been free to stay with Bella.

She pulled back and looked up at me. "Will you be in danger? Be honest with me."

"No," I promised her, "I will not be in danger."

Relaxing a little, she settled her head against my shoulder once again. "Do we have time to read another book before you go?"

She was looking to draw out our time together. It seemed I was correct in my earlier assumption. Our close proximity and nascent affection were enjoyable to her as well.

"A novella, perhaps… but Bella, we don't need to read—"

She huffed and stood, suddenly and inexplicably aggravated. "I was just looking to pass the time. You can go do something else, if you want."

Did she imagine that there was anything else I would rather do? I joined her, but respected the distance she established. "I would rather spend what time there is with you. We could read if you prefer, or we could just sit and talk. Or sit and say nothing. I will be content with whichever you choose."

Her smile returned. She was happy again.

I wanted to cross the room and cup her cheek in my hand. I wanted to caress her lips with my thumb before kissing them gently.

I wanted more than I should, so I settled on extending an invitation. "Would you care to take a walk with me?"

She accepted, her smile widening just a little as she took my outstretched hand. We would not go far. I was only hoping to share the sunset with her.

Together, we stepped off the ledge and walked past the carnage of cotton and cloth left by Emmett's destructive game. Esme would not be pleased.

Bella arrived at that same conclusion, it seemed. She took in the sight of the debris with a worried scowl.

"Esme is going to hide his arms again, isn't she?"

"He should count himself fortunate if that is all she does." I grinned, letting her know that I was joking, though in actuality there was some truth to the quip.

The attempt at humor did not ease her concern. Her scowl grew, and she glanced back at the house nervously.

"How mad is she at me for breaking the walls?"

Was she afraid of Esme? I might have laughed, had Bella not looked truly worried. "Emmett disregards her rules, often intentionally. He finds her rage humorous, as she is the softest spoken of us all. He earns her wrath. You have done nothing to earn it, I promise you."

I squeezed her hand, gently, hoping that along with my words, the gesture would relax her, but her tension remained as we strolled in silence. What could I say to soothe her? I wanted her to be calm, as composed as possible, before I left. If she was, perhaps she wouldn't panic in my absence.

"Would you like to choose a book or two, for us to take with us to the meadow tomorrow?"

She nodded, her disquiet ebbing as we discussed which books might be best for the trip. Distraction had proved useful once again. Not that our kind was easily distracted.

As a species, we are capable of entertaining multiple thoughts at once with perfect, singular focus. Newborns, however, are an exception to this. The vastness of our minds is often confusing to newborns. Carlisle had once compared this to a human with Attention Deficit Disorder. Any new thought that enters a newborn's mind will often take precedence over the former one.

The other exception is when we go through any form of permanent change. Our kind is frozen, never aging, always what we were the day we were immortalized. Change of any sort, in any form, rarely happens for us.

I had witnessed this form of rarity with Carlisle, and then again with Rosalie a decade later. Their love for Esme and Emmett respectively had changed them in an eternal way, and had completely scattered their minds for a time. I found it amusing initially, but after a while, it was more annoying than humorous.

Their thoughts would jumble and jump sporadically, often in mid conversation. I likened it to having a philosophical debate with a six-year-old child. One who is easily distracted by flashing lights and shiny objects.

Now I was the one who was easily distracted, and it had not gone unnoticed.

The wolves had yet to arrive, and I was fidgeting, mentally and physically, anxious to get the meeting started. The sooner it started, the sooner it would end, so that I could return to Bella.

I understood and accepted my importance in these affairs – ordinarily, I was glad that my gift could be of some help in such matters – but I was still annoyed.

_You're edgier than usual._

I glanced at Jasper in acknowledgement, but offered no reply. I could hear his internal debate, wondering if he should help me through my restlessness. I shook my head faintly and he sighed.

_Worried about Bella?_

Discreetly, I nodded once in answer. Of course he was able to deduce the reason for my anxiety, but I did not want to have a conversation about it right then. I was struggling as it was, keeping focus on the task ahead of us. A task that would benefit Bella subsequently, which was my main motivation for being there. Bella would not wish for her parents to suffer needlessly. If finding the evidence could give them closure and peace…

_She was stable when we left. Alice doesn't foresee anything happening._

Yes, she was stable, but only just. I could see the unhappiness in her eyes as we said our goodbyes at the door, as I brushed my fingers across her cheek. And while Alice's visions did not alarm me, they did not ease my concerns, either.

Bella, despite her amazing show of control, was still a newborn. In an irrational moment, she could panic, instantly changing her future in a hundred different ways.

What if she were to lash out at Rosalie and Esme? What if she tried to run, to find me or to escape? Would my mother and sister be able to stop her? Would someone become injured in the attempt?

I growled impatiently, scanning further into the miles around us, trying to locate Jacob's thoughts.

_Edward?_

Carlisle only needed to think my name, and I knew what he was asking.

"They're late," I groused. Attempting a civil tone would have been futile. My father – my entire family – knew me too well.

"Not exceedingly." _Bella is fine, son. She was calm when we left, and there is no reason to assume that will change. Your mother and sister would not provoke her._

"I know that," I said through clenched teeth. Knowing did nothing to ease the tension I was feeling.

I didn't want to be out in the middle of the forest, waiting for the inconsiderate mutts to finally arrive. I wanted to be home, with Bella tucked against my side as we read a book together. Or perhaps it would be best if I took her hunting. A sated newborn wasn't safe, per se, but was preferable to a thirsty one. Since we would be alone tomorrow, in the meadow, I needed to take every precaution.

_What do they even want?_

_Don't know. Vamp Doc only said it was about Bella and the investigation._

_So we're friends with them now or something? Sorry, Chief, but this is some seriously messed up shit._

_Shut up, Paul. I like them._

_Puppies should mind their superiors, Seth. Just sayin'._

_Shut up, Paul!_

_You shut up, Leah!_

_All of you should shut up. The loner leech is probably reading our minds right now._

Sam was right, not that I cared about their opinions or petty squabbling. I was just glad that they were finally close. I nodded at Carlisle to let him know that they were.

I lost my ability to focus again, my mind wandering as I imagined what Bella might be doing right then. Maybe she was speaking with Esme? I wanted her to. I wanted her to know how loving and gentle she is. Perhaps she was reading a book, or writing in her journal. Please, anything but panicking.

_Sorry we're late._

I immediately tensed as the reason for why they were began flashing through each of the wolves' memories. From multiple angles I witnessed the chase, each of them failing to catch her before she disappeared from their view.

"Victoria."

I hissed, and Jared growled, misinterpreting my reaction.

_Settle,_ Jacob warned him. He knew my show of aggression was not directed at them. _We couldn't catch her. Every time we got her cornered, she'd get out of it somehow._

She definitely had the gift of evasion. It was almost an art form, her body lithe like an ethereal gymnast as she would dodge and weave her way out of their certain grasp.

"The man wasn't with her?" I asked. I could not see him in their thoughts, but they might have caught his scent during the pursuit. If Laurent had been in contact with Victoria, if he told her what he had learned…

_Not that we could smell._

Paul considered that humorous, as did his lackeys, Quil and Embry. The sound of wolves laughing is an odd one, like they were sneezing and hacking up a hairball simultaneously.

_Edward?_

I moved my chin a fraction of an inch in Carlisle's direction. "He wasn't with her."

He nodded before he addressed Jacob directly. "Chief Swan was on the news this afternoon. He hasn't found the evidence in the clearing?"

_No,_ Jacob answered. _We tried to get him to broaden the search area, but he didn't think she'd travel that far from home._

"Will you try again?" I asked, as patiently as I could. "Once it rains, some of the evidence will wash away. We would rather them find it before that happens."

_Part of the problem is, the sniffer dogs don't like your scent. They keep spooking and changing directions._

I translated for my family and then asked my father, "Perhaps if we created a new trail for them to follow? One where our scents do not intermingle?"

"We would need something of Bella's. Clothing she wore that hasn't been laundered would likely work best."

"Do the dogs spook when they smell you guys?" Jasper asked.

_No, 'cause we don't stink of death and danger._

I didn't bother to translate Leah's insult. I just shook my head to convey the answer.

_See if they're willing to create a new trail with Bella's scent,_ Jasper suggested._ If one of us does it, we would just be back where we started._

It was up to me to make this plan happen. I would have to appeal to Jacob's affection for Bella, though. They didn't want to be implicated in any wrongdoing any more than we did. If they thought they might be, they would not help us.

"Bella saw the broadcast, Jacob. Her memories have yet to return, but she is upset that her parents have not found closure. She wants that for them. Will you help us?"

_How?_

He wanted that for them as well, but was leery of what I might ask of him.

"Help us create a new trail to the clearing, using an article of Bella's clothing. If their dogs have no aversion to your scent—"

_So that they can lead the police straight to us?_

Paul was clearly opposed to the idea. All of them were, except for Jacob and Seth.

_I'll do it. Even if you're right, and the dogs lead them right to me, no one'll think I did anything to Bella._

I smiled at Seth for offering and he held his head a little higher, proudly.

_I know you're chomping at the bit to get your paws wet, Seth, but no. I'll do it._ Jacob continued before Seth could argue. _It'll need to be now. Tonight. Tomorrow is the last day they'll be searching the woods._

They had given up hope that she had simply wandered off and become lost. Their new focus of consideration was that she had been kidnapped.

How had she managed to find herself in the clearing, if it was so unusual for her to venture that far from home? Had James carried her there? Did she struggle and fight him? Did she know what was coming? Had she realized what he was?

_Hello?_

I startled and focused on Jacob once again. Paul was adding another reason why he considered me a freak to his growing list, but I ignored him. My distractibility was getting worse the longer I was out of Bella's company.

_You kinda spaced out on me there. You okay?_

"Yes," I answered. Or I would be, as soon as we had finished the task ahead of us so that I could return home. "I appreciate your assistance, Jacob."

He dismissed my gratitude and addressed his pack. _Seth stays with me. The rest continue patrolling._

_You think that's wise, Chief?_

I knew what Paul meant by that and so did Jacob. I turned, giving them the illusion of privacy before rolling my eyes. Paul's paranoia went beyond being mindful of our instinctual nature. He honestly thought we would purposefully choose to surrender to it the moment the opportunity arose.

_What's going on? _ Emmett asked. I didn't answer him.

_I trust the Cullens, Paul, and so does Seth. We're staying. You're patrolling. Questions? None? Good. Go._

I curbed my amusement. It would not have been a good thing for me to laugh. He hadn't actually given anyone a chance to ask questions, indicating that he would not be entertaining any.

Though there were a few disgruntled snarls, they left without further comment.

"I apologize for causing dissension within your pack, Jacob."

_They'll get over it. Let's do this._

Do this? "Do what?" I asked. I scowled when my family, all except my father, laughed at me. My inability to concentrate was not amusing.

_What's so funny?_

I glared at my siblings before answering Jacob. "Nothing. How exactly did you want to proceed from here?" I asked, rephrasing the question.

_We need to get something of Bella's, right? Something with her scent on it? _I nodded. _We need to sneak into her room! Where else would we get something of Bella's?_

He wanted me to go with him into Bella's room. He considered me the best choice for the role of sentry, what with my abilities as they were.

I didn't know how to feel about that. Not about being the sentinel; in a way, I was that for my entire family. I wasn't sure about going into Bella's room. I wasn't sure if I could face the evidence of her former humanness – the life she could have had, had it not been stolen from her.

Concerns and doubts were no match for the curiosity burning inside me, however. My need to know her was just too great.

Shortly after we all arrived at the outskirts of the Swan property, Jacob and Seth phased, unafraid of being in our presence while in their more vulnerable human forms. Seth was all smiles, childlike and innocent. Jacob was just focused.

"Can you hear them? Are they awake?"

He was asking about Bella's parents.

Even in unconsciousness, Charlie's mind was difficult to read. He was definitely asleep, though, as was Renee. Her dreams were of finding Bella alive, embracing as daughter assured mother that she was fine. I winced, knowing her dreams would never become reality.

I startled when Carlisle's arm came up around my shoulder.

_Are you sure you can do this, son? Jasper would be capable of—_

"No." Jasper would not stand in my place. "This is my responsibility. I will do it."

_With your struggling to remain still, I can only imagine the unrest in your mind. There's no shame in—_

"I said I would do it, Carlisle," I interrupted him again, my tone teetering toward impatience. Sighing, he removed his arm from my shoulder and left me alone.

Jacob was eyeing me warily when I faced him. _Are you okay? You're different tonight. Is something going on I need to know about?_

If Bella was to be my mate, he would learn of it eventually, but tonight was not the time to tell him. He might be opposed to the idea of it. If he was, he might refuse to help me.

I needed his help.

I shook my head. He didn't believe me, not completely, but he didn't press further for answers.

"I've seen you jump in and out of trees, so I'm assuming you can get up to her bedroom window, right? It's never locked. The latch is broken."

I heard him, but barely. My mind continued to wander, mostly at inopportune times, and always back to Bella. We needed to complete this task quickly, before I ceased to be of any use to anyone.

"I can jump up to a second story window, yes." I tried to keep the impatient sarcasm from my tone, but my attempt had failed.

_Sure, sure. Chill out. No offense or anything._

Seth started up a conversation with Emmett as Jacob and I stepped closer to the house, under Bella's bedroom window. He looked at me for a moment, his thoughts almost mischievous. This was a little bit fun to him. Not the circumstances surrounding it, but that we were about to commit the crime of breaking and entering.

"Give me twenty seconds, okay? And then follow me up."

I had just acknowledged him when he backed up a little, and then went running toward the house. He bounced off the side of the structure and off the trunk of the tree that was standing nearby, working his way higher until he was hanging from the second story window. He pushed the pane up just enough so that he could climb in.

I followed him, leaping straight to the ledge and swinging myself inside her room in two seamless, fluid motions.

_Impressive._

I smirked at him. "Likewise."

It was almost like bantering, almost like friends teasing each other, but then I took in a breath…

It felt as if I had been hit by a meteor. My mouth exploded with venom, my throat burned… I was suddenly _thirsty_. Dangerously so.

I collapsed to my knees, summoning all the strength I could find within me to remain in control of myself. My instincts. The monster inside me that now roared louder than I had ever heard before.

Human Bella had the sweetest blood I had ever smelled in all of my decades.

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

'Kay, guys, I'm really thinking this is starting to suck. The last chapter had fewer hits and fewer reviews, like I've lost some readers, and then I lost that award I was up for. These seem like indicators to me, that it's plummeting into suckiness.

So, really, should I even bother continuing? I know one fan of this story who will argue that I should, if even one person wants me to. And usually, that is exactly what I would do, but… Well, I have other projects that have not been given the precedence they should, because I'm focusing more on this fic than on them. If there isn't enough interest, I'm going to have to put this fic on the backburner for a while, so that I can focus on the other projects.

I'm sorry if I seem mean, or full of myself or something. I'm just stretched thin right now, trying to please everybody, which is simply not possible. I'm just trying to figure out where my priorities should lie. Ya'know?

So, yeah, anyway…

I want to thank everyone who voted for this fic for The Vampies Awards. I appreciate the support.

Responses:

Gwen Cooper 426: "Vamps FTW!" LOLOL! That cracked me up! (smile)

SkittleE: If you do, I hope you enjoy it!

Krish: Thanks for the continued support! Your enthusiasm for this fic makes me smile.

Thanks for reading, and please review.

And now it's three in the morning. I really should try to get some kind of sleep.

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	16. Chapter 15

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Fifteen

By: Jana~

**XXX**

I had never known such a scent to exist. Just the echo of her blood permeated the room, and yet it hit me like I was in the presence of the sweetest, freshest blood, after not having fed for years. It was worse than that, even. Worse than any thirst I had ever known.

When I tried to save her humanity, and had tasted her blood, the venom was already too far spread, changing her flavor. I could only feel grateful for that now. If not for that, I would have drained her most certainly and killed her myself.

The agony of that thought ripped through me, before I felt a wave of peace and calm.

Jasper. His gift was welcomed that time. I was able to regain some sense of myself – of who we all were, or at least who we were all trying to be. As close to humanlike as possible.

Less than seven seconds had passed, but even with as brief as my extreme reaction had been, Jacob could sense the danger.

_Whoa. What the—? What just happened?_

I shook my head as I stood. I would think of a lie to tell him later, once the task was complete. And I would have to lie to him. If he were to know just how close the monster within me came to escaping, the unlikely friendship that had begun between us would end instantaneously. He would not understand it, or be accepting of it. He could never understand these instincts, because he was not what I am.

I took in a careful, calculated breath and held it. "I'm fine," I whispered. "Let's get this over with."

Thankfully, Jacob didn't argue. He just went over to her hamper and started rummaging.

_She has this one shirt she wears all the time. It's her favorite._

As he continued searching, I allowed my attention to wander, the air in my lungs growing stagnant as I refused to breathe. Jasper was helping, but I would not take any unnecessary chances. If Jacob didn't expect me to speak, I could manage in this way until after we left.

On Bella's bed was a scattering of pictures; likely, her parents had sorted through them when trying to find one of her to give to the news media. The stacks of books near her bedside table attracted my interest next. It seemed that Bella enjoyed reading when she was human as well. Perhaps if I reintroduced her to her favorite novel, it would spark some memory for her.

I tried to discern which one might have been a favorite of hers based on the condition of the covers and the spines, but that proved inconclusive. They were all well read, if going by the wear on them.

"Pssst!"

I spun around at the sound, locking eyes with Jacob.

_Ground control to space cadet._ He grinned and held up a shirt that he had pinched at the hem. He was attempting to touch it as little as possible, to keep Bella's scent the most prominent.

The thought of her human scent embedded in that simple shirt caused a twinge of pain. Jasper increased his efforts, grateful that he could help me.

I nodded, then spoke in a low and quiet voice, using as little saved air as possible. Her parents would not hear me. Jacob could barely hear me, feet away.

"Do you know which of these books were her favorites?"

He looked at the stack for a moment and shrugged. _She'd been reading _Romeo and Juliet_, but that was a school assignment kind of thing. Not sure if she actually liked it._

Going by her personal collection, my guess was that she did. Though none of them were romance novels, most of her books revolved around a romantic theme. Bella was a romantic.

I quickly memorized the titles so that I could add them to our collection at home before heading for the window. As fascinating as her room was, I was eager to leave it. I wanted to be able to breathe again. I needed to be with her, sitting beside her, enjoying her company. To have her sweet and perfect scent all around me, anchoring my existence.

I wanted to be able to think clearly again, like I couldn't seem to since being out of her presence.

I leapt from the room first and Jacob followed, landing just behind me after closing her window.

"What the hell happened in there?" he whispered. While the question was somewhat demanding, his thoughts were laced with concern. He was actually concerned about me.

I took in a short breath, mindful of the article of clothing he still held. At least I was upwind of it.

"Nothing that is worthy of discussion," I lied. "I was not prepared for the strength of her human scent."

That was a little too close to the truth. I shook my head and began walking toward the forest, where my family and Seth were waiting for us. Jacob was fast on my heels.

_Blondie and your mom are with Bella?_

"Yes," I answered, ignoring the somewhat derogatory nickname he had used for my sister.

They had given us all nicknames, and most of them were not flattering. My family didn't know of this, of course, because I had never told them. It would have hindered relations between us and them if I had.

_If something important was going on, you'd tell me, right?_

He was trying not to think the worst, but he was wondering what I was keeping from him. As certain of this as he was, he could not imagine what it might be. If I ever considered Jacob to be unintelligent or imperceptive, that had been a mistake on my part.

He stopped following before I had even turned around. "I would tell you if there was something wrong with her, Jacob. I know you care for her."

There was a flash of gratitude in his thoughts, but it quickly disappeared. _I want to trust you, Cullen. Don't give me a reason not to._

I nodded my comprehension, sympathetic to his situation. He had essentially gone against his pack for me – for Bella, more accurately, but also for my family and myself by extension. He didn't want that choice to be in vain.

"I appreciate your help, Jacob, and your trust."

_Sure, sure. Let's get this done. _He passed me as he continued into the forest.

My family's thoughts shared a thread of concern, knowing something had happened to me while in Bella's room. They did not know what, however, since Jasper hadn't told them. He didn't want Seth to hear and inadvertently share the information with the rest of the pack once he phased again. There were no secrets amongst them, as they had no control over their mental connection.

"Good! Your defense needs a little work, but your offense is good. Really come at me. There's no way you can hurt me."

Well, they were all concerned except for Emmett. His worry left him once he realized that Jasper was assisting in whatever the situation might be. Emmett was not the type to think on anything for longer than was necessary, or than he wanted to.

At six feet five inches, he towered over Seth, but the young wolf showed no fear against him. He was actually smiling a little as he attacked my brother, clearly enjoying himself. His pack mates wouldn't allow him to spar with them. They called him a runt, and told him to wait a year and grow a few inches, even Quil and Embry, who were not much older or much taller.

Emmett was enjoying himself as well, like a father teaching his son how to box. If our kind could reproduce, Emmett would have made a good father.

Jacob smirked as we closed the distance between us and them. He then made several short baying sounds, very wolf-like but lacking the same intensity. It immediately gained Seth's attention, stopping him in mid punch.

"Playtime's over. We gotta go."

He thanked Emmett with a wide smile before jogging toward us, to Jacob.

"What's the plan, Chief?"

"We drag her shirt behind us all the way to the clearing," Jacob answered.

"Shred and bury the shirt deep in the ground inconspicuously," Jasper said. "The trail needs to end there."

"Sure, sure," Jacob muttered, turning to leave. He spun back around and faced my father when he called his name.

"Jacob. Thank you."

"Yeah." He looked at me then, pointedly. _We still on for our brain picking session, day after tomorrow?_

My behaviors this evening had bothered him. He considered that I might have changed my mind about meeting with him. When we met again, he was planning to ask questions of me as well, and since he was aware of my abilities, he was sure I knew that. He watched me closely as he awaited my answer.

I nodded. "Yes, Jacob. Thank you."

He gave a little snort of a sound. _You're the thankin'est bunch of people I've ever met. I'm doing this for Bella._

"I know," I said.

"C'mon Seth. Let's go."

We all watched them leave for a moment before I felt my father's hand upon my shoulder.

"What happened?"

I turned but stared directly at Jasper, not Carlisle. He knew what I was asking of him. The artificial calm that had shrouded my murderous instincts dissolved and I stumbled, almost falling to my knees once again. My father steadied me.

_What is it, Edward?_ Carlisle's inner voice piqued with alarm.

I fought for control, and for the ability to answer him.

_You need to hunt,_ Jasper thought.

"No." Hunting would take time away from Bella, and I had already been away too long. "I need to go home."

"What's going on?" Emmett asked. I ignored him, my focus remaining on Carlisle.

Staring into my father's eyes, I felt ashamed. Just the memory of her scent – the imagined taste of her that it left on the back of my tongue – had again riled the monster inside me.

I swallowed the excess of venom harshly. "Has any one person ever smelled better to you than another?" I asked.

A sudden memory formed in Emmett's mind, of a country lane at dusk and a middle-aged woman who was tending to her laundry. He had drained her within seconds. The memory of his thirst, combined with my own, was nearly my undoing.

I hissed, and the image abruptly changed to him and Rosalie, naked in bed. I groaned and tried to block it out.

"Sorry," he said, truly remorseful. "It was the first thing that came to mind."

Carlisle's expression held only sympathy and understanding. "Bella was your singer."

Jasper silently agreed with him, but allowed our father to explain when I inquired.

"I have never heard that term before. What does that mean?"

"It means exactly what you described," he answered patiently. "One human whose scent is more enticing than any other's. It is considered impossible to resist your singer."

"I didn't last half a second." Emmett's guilt over his actions was as genuine as it was rare, and was still with him even all these decades later. His attempt to convey apathy fooled no one.

Alice then imagined a scenario in where I had met Bella under different circumstances. Like my brother had been in reality, I was powerless to resist. The moment her scent touched the air around me, years of discipline crumbled and I violently took her life.

I tried to shut my sister out, but my mind began conjuring up its own horrific images; Bella, in the yard of a quaint and modest home along a country lane, tending to sheets that had been hung out to dry. Seconds later she was in my arms, her body broken and lifeless, with my lips against her neck, drinking deeply.

I felt as if I was on the brink of insanity. I tried to think of anything else as I collapsed to the ground.

"Jasper," I whispered. Immediately, I felt the relief wash over me.

"He needs to hunt."

Jasper's suggestion – him making it for the second time – irritated me. "No."

My father dropped to one knee beside me, his thoughts full of concern and compassion. "Perhaps it would be best if we took a short detour on our way home."

"No."

_Son. We won't be long. Grant me this._

"Father, I need to be with her." I sounded like a desperate, petulant child, but I didn't care. Surely he understood the importance of this. For months after they first mated, he could hardly tear himself away from Esme.

_I know you do. Indulge me, please._

Unable to speak, I nodded and looked away, aware of but unresponsive to his sending my siblings home ahead of us. He wanted privacy with me.

"Let them know that we will be there shortly," he said, and I quickly stood.

"Do not tell Bella what happened!" I nearly snarled this at them, and my father's arm came up around my shoulder.

"Edward, no one will tell Bella anything you don't wish her to know."

My siblings' thoughts agreed with that, and it settled me marginally. That marginal sense of calm vanished when they left, however, since Jasper's influence went with them, leaving me shaking with barely tethered control as I stared back at Carlisle.

Finally, after a multitude of silent moments, he spoke.

"Hunting first."

I gorged myself on every creature I could find, desperate to ease the agonizing thirst, but my gluttony only muted it. Full to the point of uncomfortable, I ended my swath of destruction and slumped against a tree. Only then did Carlisle approach me.

"Did it help?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"Enough. What did you want to discuss with me?"

He ignored my rude and disrespectful tone. "When one encounters their singer, they don't usually walk away without leaving a victim behind them."

If I had encountered her while still completely human, I was sure that would have been the case. The thought of it sickened me.

"That is of shallow consolation. I had no choice. Human Bella no longer exists."

"Yes, I understand that," he said, forever patient, "but I mention it because I believe this is why you are struggling now. Why it still challenges your control, even after removing yourself from the temptation."

"How is this different from any other human temptation?" I had been tempted before, but never did it linger after removing myself from their presence.

"Everything about your singer is different. The call of their blood is stronger, and the mark that leaves on you is deeper. Your body wants what you didn't give it. What you can never give it, in this instance."

"I might not ever be free of this agonizing want?"

"This situation is beyond my knowledge. I have not heard of anything even similar."

It annoyed me more than it should have, that he could not answer my question. I pushed off the tree and began to walk away.

"There is something else I wish to speak with you about."

I growled in response. Every sentence equaled another few seconds away from Bella. "What?" I asked harshly.

My anger did not surprise him. He accepted it without judgment or scorn. "I was prepared to let this play out without interfering, but I have decided against that approach. Allow me to help you, Edward."

He thought of Bella then, of how she was to be my mate, and it softened me a little. "How might you be able to help me?"

"Allow me to pass my wisdom on to you." I stared back at him, waiting, and he smiled, pleased that I was permitting his request. "You remember how it was for your mother and I, and Emmett and Rosalie. It was painful to be apart from our mates for any length of time. Our minds were unfocused. It was an amazing and difficult time for us, just as it is for you now."

I could agree to that. Never had I experienced so many emotions at once, from total despair to absolute elation, and everything else that lies in between. Simply being near her evoked a new kind of pleasure I had never known; a marriage of joy and pain that was all consuming.

"Claiming her will help," he continued, despite my lack of response. "It solidifies this rare and permanent change, and will help settle some of the unrest."

"Are you suggesting I claim her now, when she is only days old?" I valued Carlisle's opinions, but I would not claim her now. No matter the benefits, I could never frighten her like that. I would not satisfy my eagerness to experience the joys of having a dedicated mate at her expense.

"Of course not. That decision will need to be yours, when you are ready, and when you feel Bella is ready."

"Believe me, I want to." I wanted to envelop her in my arms as I made her mine for all of eternity. "I want to claim her, but my emotions are warring…"

"Over what you're being drawn to do and what you think you should do. Between claiming her, and loving her. One is barbaric, one is civilized."

Of course my father would understand. His capacity for understanding was limitless. "Yes, exactly. How do I reconcile the two?"

"Claiming a mate is instinctual to our kind. You could forgo it, but at some point, the relationship might seem incomplete, unbalanced, and you will struggle to repair it later if that happens, and the unrest you are experiencing might never fully be resolved. Claiming her doesn't mean you don't love her. Both have their place, both equally as important. Are you afraid of hurting her, or disrespecting her?"

"Yes." I would spend the rest of forever in my current unstable state before I did either.

"You will do neither, son, I promise. It stings a little, but is not exactly pain, and if she truly sees you as her mate, she will not only accept it, she will welcome it. Some even find it pleasurable."

He suddenly remembered when he had claimed Esme, and I groaned.

"Sorry." He laughed, clapping a hand upon my shoulder. "Bella is waiting for you."

I matched my father's stride all the way home, my mood lifting considerably the closer we got. I would be with her again within minutes. That thought did not fully tame the monster inside me, but was enough that I could think beyond his demands. I could imagine _my_ Bella again, instead of the broken and lifeless human version of her I had never known.

Moments from the steps to the house, moments from seeing her again, my father slowed, requesting I do so as well.

_Remember, we all love you. You are not alone. There is no shame in asking for help._

I knew they loved me, as I loved them – even Rosalie, who was hard to love at times – but I rarely consulted them on any dilemma I might have. They called it brooding, I called it privacy. "I know. Thank you."

Though the conversation had been awkward, I was grateful to my father for his words. I had renewed hope that, when the timing was right, Bella and I would be a mated, happy couple, like my parents and siblings were.

My father was beaming, pleased that he could help me, and that I had accepted that help.

_Don't fight with your brother again, please. You know how it upsets your mother._

I grinned and nodded, then took off like a shot. The moment I stepped across the threshold, there was Bella, rushing down the stairs to greet me.

"You're home!"

As I could, Emmett could see what was about to happen and flashed beside me, placing a steady hand against my back as Bella launched herself into my arms. If not for his assistance, her momentum would have thrown us through the door and down the steps.

I would need to find a way of explaining to her how strong she was without giving her the knowledge that she could destroy us all, easily. She would never do so while levelheaded, but during an unthinking newborn moment…

"You're safe," she whispered.

I held her, comforting her. She had been worried again. "Yes, Bella, I'm safe."

Carlisle slipped into the house behind me and quietly directed Emmett toward the living room.

"When you weren't with the others…"

I could not find it in me to care that she had left her sentence unfinished that time. I felt right again. My existence, my entire reason for being, was wrapped in my embrace. I inhaled deeply, her human scent fading to a distant memory as I pressed my lips into her hair. The monster whimpered and retreated to the recesses of my mind.

My family's thoughts – those who were in the know, who knew what had happened at the Swan house – filled with relief, and in my father's case, fascination, also. They could see the change in me; the difference between the mess I had been and the serenity I now exhibited was like blackest night to brightest day.

Bella sighed, her hold on me no longer desperate but relaxed. "I did something I want to show you," she said.

There was a hint of embarrassment within her expression when she moved out of my arms, but then she smiled at me, took my hand, and led me up the stairs. I followed obediently.

I could see what she had done as soon as we entered our room.

I had never put much effort into organizing my many decades worth of journals. Rarely did I ever read my words past the moment I wrote them. When a book was filled with my thoughts, I tossed it on the growing pile and started a new one.

I hauled them to each new location whenever we moved, haphazardly unpacking them only so that the box they had been in could be recycled, at Alice's insistence. She was adamant that it was every cognizant being's responsibility to protect the planet from decay.

"I didn't read them," she said, suddenly penitent. "I just looked at the date on the first page and organized them by that."

"I would not have minded you reading my journals, Bella. I want you to know me."

Shyly, she shifted her gaze away from mine. "I would feel like I was invading your privacy."

I gestured to the bookshelf, regaining her attention. "Select any one you wish to. We will take it with us tomorrow, to the meadow."

Her answering smile was slight, but held notable excitement.

Her left hand still clasped in my right, she scanned the rows until one in particular caught her interest. She removed it from its place, her eyes finally meeting mine again as she offered it to me. There was nothing distinguishing it as different from the others, causing me to wonder why she had chosen it. I was pleased by her choice, however. Most of the entries were of my time spent in Italy, after my newborn phase but before my vigilante years; a fairly uneventful period of my existence that would not frighten her to read about.

I set it atop the other books she had chosen for the day, which were stacked neatly on my desk.

"Would you care to join me at the piano for a while?" I asked. I wanted to please her again, as I had when I played for her before. I was hoping to bond with her over our shared enjoyment of music.

Her endearing smile widened.

**To be continued**

**Author's Note:**

I think I owe everyone an apology. I never meant to imply that I was going to completely stop writing this fic. I was only trying to gauge where the fic should place on my list of priorities. I would have only set it aside for a time, not forever.

I am completely amazed by the many reviews I received, asking me to continue. Thank you. This fic will remain at the top of my projects list.

There are parts of this chapter I absolutely love (ask and I'll share), there are other parts that I really struggled with. I drove my beta nuts for hours last night, showing her variations of two different sentences, trying to get them 'just right'. She swears every variation was as good as the last (I had shown her), and said I was being too hard on myself again. So I stopped messing with it and called it done. I hope it read well for you.

At the suggestion of a reviewer, I have created a forum, where I can respond to reviews and answer questions and such. I'm not sure how this will fly, but time will tell. I've already responded to a lot of your reviews over there, so if you're interested, go on over and take a look. You can also ask questions about this fic, or any other fic I've written, or just chat, etc. The link is on my profile page.

And speaking of my beta… She is most awesome, and I am forever thankful to her for all she does. Here's to another three-plus years! (grin)

And while I'm speaking of my beta… You should really check out her fic, _**You Found Me**_ (by: Kristylized). It's seriously awesome. I constantly pester the crap out of her to see any amount she's written, because I just have to know what happens next! It's completely and deliciously addicting!

I turned forty this week. Grant my birthday wish and review?

Thank you, and MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	17. Chapter 16

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Sixteen

By: Jana~

**XXX**

Vampires have perfect recall. Everything we read, hear, see… every experience is remembered with flawless clarity.

On our sides, facing each other, heads propped up on hands, my attention was Bella's alone as she read my journal. I had every word memorized, so I spent the time enjoying her reactions. Sometimes her eyes would widen, or a little smile would stretch her lips…

The sunlight illuminated her skin, bathing the grass and pages in front of her in brilliant colors. Her mahogany hair spilled across her shoulders, stirring in the wind, catching her scent and wafting it toward me.

I was in heaven.

I refused to acknowledge the time, wishing there was more of it in our favor before we were expected home. Nerves had joined the excitement when we first left earlier that morning, but my fears had been for naught. It was hard to believe that Bella was a newborn, and not a years-old vampire. Of course, I had not challenged her control, either. The entirety of the day had been spent reading and analyzing Robert Frost poems. We saved the journal for last.

She turned the final page and closed the book.

"You're so lucky."

I was, I agreed, but I knew she was not referring to my finally finding her. "Why is that?"

"You've been to Italy!" She fell back onto the grass and stared up at the bright sky. "I would love to go to Italy. It's so old." I laughed, and she scoffed in response. "You know what I mean. It's historic. There's just so much history there. And I bet it's beautiful."

Watching her, I realized that this moment was exactly like one of Alice's visions. This was what Bella and I had been discussing in that inaudible scene. Traveling.

When she could be around humans, I would take her anywhere she wished to go. Italy, France, England, Scotland, China, Spain, the moon if I could. Anywhere she wished to go, I would take her.

Mirroring her position, I settled myself in the grass beside her before reaching for her hand. "I would love to share the beauty of the world with you some day, Bella."

Her soft hum was like music; a blend of contentment and acceptance that delighted me. I immediately considered all the places I would take her – not just the areas known to tourists, but the lesser known locations I had come across during my travels.

Entwining our fingers, I tightened my grip and smiled at the sky.

The electricity flowing between us was both exciting and familiar; a reminder of everything we were, and everything we had yet to be, promising a future I had never imagined possible.

My existence was no longer an endless purgatory. No longer would I have to suffer through day after monotonous day. Each moment now had a purpose beyond shallow pursuits and empty pleasures.

Bella was everything to me. She was the sunrise and sunset. The brightest day and the star filled night. She was my only reason to stay alive, if our kind could be described as living.

"Where else have you been, besides Italy?"

"It might be easier to list the places I haven't been." She looked over at me, her expression indicating that she was surprised by my answer. "We have traveled extensively," I explained. "When one never ages, it becomes necessary to relocate often."

"You don't mention anyone but Carlisle and Esme." She gestured abstractedly toward my journal.

"My siblings joined our family later. Rosalie first, followed by Emmett. Alice and Jasper found us when they were both well past the newborn stage."

"Found you? Were they looking for you?"

"Yes. Alice had a vision."

The memory of when I had first met my sister brought a wider smile to my face. From the very beginning, she behaved as if she had been a member of our family all along. The others were skeptical initially, but once I assured them that her thoughts were pure and her intentions honorable, she and Jasper were welcomed with open arms.

Jasper had been more reserved, but he soon warmed up to us.

"What does Alice see happening to me?" My smile dropped instantly with her question. "I know you know. You can read minds, it stands to reason that you can see her visions, too."

I fought with my indecision, wanting to tell her but knowing I shouldn't. If she were to become frightened by my admission, the perfect day we had shared would be ruined.

She turned back onto her side again, as did I.

"Please, Edward?" Could she sense my inner struggle? See it in my eyes? In my expression? "I can't remember my past, my present is… unstable. I just need to know. _Something_. Please."

Her pleas made me ache. I ached to tell her the truth; to give her some solace in the future Alice had seen for us. "She sees you living with us, happily, for as long as you wish to."

"I can stay with you?"

Did she think we would cast her aside after time? Even if she was not to be my mate, we would never. I reached out, cupping my hand to her face. "For as long as you wish to," I repeated.

Her eyes drifted shut as she leaned into my touch, increasing the contact. Alice's earlier visions had not shown anything beyond this moment, and I had blocked out her more recent visions, wanting to experience the day with Bella without that foresight. I was regretting doing so now.

I so badly wanted to kiss her, I could feel the pull from deep inside me, but would it frighten her if I did? Concerned that it might, I instead stretched my thumb to caress the hollow beneath her full bottom lip. She hummed again – the most beautiful sound on all of earth.

"Bella?" She slowly opened her eyes and met mine, her slight smile growing. I was so lost to her that I almost confessed everything – my undying love; my desire that she become my mate for all of eternity – but I was just able to stop myself before the words left my mouth. Instead, I asked, "We are due home soon, but before we leave, is there anything else you would like to do?"

Her gaze flickered to my lips for the briefest of moments. "Is there anything you'd like to do?"

I could not answer her question honestly. My desires were not at all appropriate. I could not wrap her in my arms… nuzzle her neck affectionately… touch her body in the hope of bringing her pleasure…

_Enough._

Redirecting my improper thoughts, I dropped my hand from her face and gently placed it upon hers, resting in the grass. "This is your day, Bella. My only wish is to spend it with you."

Her eyes lowered to the space between us. "You're an easy date to please."

She considered this a date? Elated, I curled my fingers around her hand and lightly stroked her palm. "The ease is entirely due to being in your company."

Slowly, she looked up at me. "You enjoy my company?"

Did that surprise her? "Immensely," I answered.

Her shy smile conveyed more than just embarrassment. My admission pleased her.

I turned her hand and brought it to my lips, kissing where wrist met palm. My reward was grander than I could have expected; another soft hum, followed by her fingertips delicately caressing my cheek. Then, tentatively, she began to explore. Closing my eyes, I savored her touch as she traced the line of my jaw, the arch of my brow…

I hummed, in much the same manner as she had, so that she would know I was enjoying her affection. She was so gentle, so in control, but I didn't have time to dwell on that for longer than a few moments. Her thumb brushed over my lips and my eyes flew open, meeting hers, trusting and innocent.

I struggled to keep my desires in check. I would not befoul her, but surely I could reciprocate. Surely that would not frighten her. I prayed it wouldn't as I reached out to her, imitating her every movement exactly. The line of her jaw, the arch of her brow…

When I finally touched her lips, she parted them, slightly, and kissed the pad of my thumb.

"Bella…" There was almost no volume to my voice. I could think of no other words to say. Her effect on me was dizzying. I was already addicted to the sensation, desperate to prolong it and cherish it for as long as she would allow.

Roughly, I shoved the books between us aside and moved closer to her. Once I had, however, I wasn't certain of what to do next.

My body screamed for hers in ways I scarcely recognized. Only because I can read minds, did I understand what it was. Emmett and Jasper often felt this way about Rosalie and Alice respectively, as did Carlisle for Esme, though he was usually respectful enough, when around me, to redirect those thoughts when he would have them. It was natural that they would, since they were mated to the women in their fantasies.

But Bella and I were not mated. Not yet, anyway. She deserved better than the crude fantasies I had been spinning. She deserved romance, like that which formed the theme in the books she clearly enjoyed reading.

Curbing my libidinous inclinations, I instead tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, lovingly, before dropping my hand to lie over her heart. My fingers settled against her collarbone without conscious consideration.

"We are expected home now, but if you would do me the honor, I would very much like to bring you here again someday soon."

By then, maybe we could do more than read. Images of making love to Bella amongst the wildflowers assaulted me, physically exciting me anew.

_Enough!_

"I would like that."

Her smile was the epitome of joy. Smiling in return, I stood and offered her my hand, helping her off the ground when she accepted it before collecting the books I had carelessly pushed aside. There was no damage to them, though even if there had been, it would not have sullied my mood.

I was soaring, happier and more at peace than I had ever been. My spirits had lifted far beyond the earthly realm, far into the Heavens, where Bella was my reward for whatever good deeds I must have done to deserve her.

I wore a smile as we ran home, my attention more on Bella than the run itself, until my family's thoughts came into focus. I searched them only because I wanted to be sure the repairman had left, though I assumed that I would have gotten a text message from Alice, if it had been necessary to delay our return.

My sister knew we were on our way, of course, but I had not learned that from her. She told the others, then immediately began spinning her deflective web. Snippets of show tunes, poems, and advice from fashion magazines filled her thoughts. I shifted my concentration to my father, but he was blocking me as well. All of them were, but I could not determine why.

Frustrated, I asked Bella, "Would you mind if I carried you?" The sooner we arrived, the sooner I could make sense of the puzzle awaiting me there. It was uncharacteristic of them to band together to block me.

Her smile faded. "Why?"

My demeanor was concerning her. I gave her hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "I'm faster than you are."

As soon as she agreed by nodding, I slung her up onto my back and took off, pushing myself to my fullest capabilities. She clung to me, her knees gripping my waist, her arms around my neck, her cheek against my ear. I almost slowed down a little, so that I could enjoy her nearness for a moment longer.

I set her down before the steps, remaining silent even as her confused eyes begged for an explanation. I had none I could give her, since my family was continuing to guard their thoughts. Retaking her hand, I led the way inside, where we were met by five smiling faces, and Rosalie. Alice was positively giddy.

"Alice." I scowled at her, but her grin did not falter. "You look like the cat who ate the canary. What's going on?"

"Nothing of concern," Carlisle answered.

His mental block was solid, so I moved on to Emmett. My brother was not as proficient in blocking me, usually, but even his thoughts evaded the reason for my family's odd behavior. Repetitiously, in his mind only, he was chanting 'la, la, la, you can't hear me, la, la, la.'

It was annoyingly effective. I turned my focus onto Rosalie, who was mentally disassembling the engine of her BMW. Her smile was a little wry as she examined her fingernails, enjoying my frustration.

I tried to read Esme, who was never one to block me for any reason… except for today. She was contemplating the blueprints of a new renovation project, for the stone cottage that was located a few miles northwest of our house.

Jasper was almost as proficient at blocking me as our father was, though he had never quite been able to prevent me from reading the emotions he felt from others. The atmosphere was that of excitement, not distress.

"You should go to your room now," Alice chirped. She immediately went into a rendition of _Tomorrow_ from the musical _Annie_, loudly but inwardly.

I rolled my eyes and started for the stairs.

"What's going on?" Bella asked me quietly, as we ascended to the second floor.

"I don't know. They're blocking me from their thoughts."

"They can do that?"

"To varying degrees," I answered.

"Why would they?"

"I'm not sure, but I think we are about to find out."

When we approached our bedroom door, everything became clear. Bella gasped, I assumed in surprise. I was surprised as well, though I probably shouldn't have been. It was a very Alice-like thing to do.

"There's a bed," Bella whispered.

I heard Alice's thoughts then, but quickly tuned them out.

"I should never have trusted my shopping-addicted sister to handle this simple task," I muttered.

To qualify it as a bed would be severely understating the monstrosity that now sat where my chaise used to be. It took up nearly half the room with its sheer size, and then to add insult to injury, it was adorned with an obnoxious gold comforter and a dozen pillows.

"It's huge!" Suddenly, Bella leapt into the air and landed squarely in the middle of it. She quickly flipped herself onto her back and smiled up at the twinkling lights that were interweaved throughout the wrought iron canopy.

Witnessing her playfulness, I felt my annoyance slipping away. If Bella was happy, I was happy.

"Yes, it is," I agreed, my grin widening as she stretched her limbs, trying to occupy as much of the bed as possible.

Her youthful exuberance was like a salve, soothing the pain that so many lonely decades had caused. Year after year, the bitterness grew, evolving from a dull ache to a stabbing agony, shaping me into the introvert I had become. How quickly that had changed for me since knowing Bella.

Her enthusiasm for the simplest pleasures was refreshing. I found that most thoughts entertained the opposite. Most never seemed happy with what they had. They always wanted more, bigger, best.

Bella wasn't like that. The smallest gestures were not just satisfactory, they delighted her. It made me want to join in her excitement.

As if she could read my mind, she sat up onto her knees and reached out, grabbing me by the shirt and pulling me toward her. "Get in here!"

I almost landed on top of her, but at the last moment, I was able to shift my weight so that I fell beside her instead.

"I feel like royalty!"

Good. She should feel like royalty. She already ruled my world.

_You're welcome,_ Alice thought. I rolled my eyes, but my grin remained. In truth, while I was somewhat annoyed, I was also grateful. How could I not be when she had made Bella so happy?

Bella turned onto her side and faced me, regaining my attention. "It's too bad we don't sleep."

"There are other things one can do in a bed besides sleep."

Immediately, I berated myself for making such an inappropriate implication. I knew she had caught it because her smile turned shy.

"I suppose that's true."

I considered what I might say to help ease her embarrassment – perhaps something about Alice's ostentatious tastes – but then she spoke again, and the words fell victim to silence.

"It's perfect," she whispered, presumably referring to the bed. I was set to correct her, to let her know that she had Alice to thank, not me, for this obviously premeditated relationship aid, but before I could, she started to lean toward me, and I froze. It seemed she was about to kiss me. "This whole day has been perfect. Thank you."

The moment her lips touched my cheek, the pull that I had felt before became stronger. But it ended too quickly. When she started to back away from me, before there was even an inch of space between us, I combed my fingers into her hair, stopping her.

Her eyes widened, watching me as I shifted up onto my elbow, matching her current position. Logic told me that I should have checked with Alice first, but I didn't. Bella didn't seem to be frightened. Her eyes showed interest, not fear.

I was probably more afraid than she was, but I was through with being a coward. If she found it unpleasant, she only needed to give me some sign. If she did, I would stop at any point, before or during. I wanted to please her, not upset her.

With my hand still in her hair, I encouraged her closer. I could feel her breath against my mouth, suddenly shaky and harsh. She was as nervous as I was.

_Slowly,_ I told myself. Newborns had the propensity to startle, and I didn't want our first kiss to end with her fleeing from me.

Mindful of whatever reaction she might have, I gently brushed my nose against hers, wanting her to be comfortable with my nearness before advancing further. Her breaths became shakier and harsher, but she didn't move away from me. After several long, intense seconds, I finally found the courage to touch my lips to hers.

They felt as perfect as I had imagined, but nothing could have prepared me for the accompanying sensations. It was more than the electricity I had become so familiar with. It was as if every memory ever formed had shifted one rung down on the ladder of my existence, making room for this moment at the top.

I struggled to find the words to describe what I was feeling, but none seemed adequate. How could something so simple evoke such strong, complex emotions?

Even without an answer to that question, I allowed them to engulf me and, for the longest of moments, I just drowned in them. Only after I ended the kiss, after resting my forehead against hers, did I resurface.

"It is I who should be thanking you, Bella," I whispered. "This was the best day of my entire existence."

Though my eyes were closed, I knew she was smiling. I could sense it.

"Are there any plans for tomorrow?"

I knew why she had asked me that, but with as much as I wanted another day with her in the meadow, I couldn't take her tomorrow. I had a meeting scheduled.

"Jacob is expecting me at sunrise."

I could feel and sense her scowling. Not wanting her to be upset, I leaned in and kissed her lips again, softly, briefly, just once. As I moved back, her eyes fluttered open and met with mine. My hand left her hair and cupped her face.

"I am doing this for you, Bella, to help you regain your memories. I promise to return to you as quickly as possible." Her scowl eased, but she dropped her gaze. She seemed to be feeling guilty, but for what reason? "Will you share your thoughts with me? Please?"

"I want to remember who I am, but I also don't want you to go."

There was pain now within her expression. A sad form of pain that made me ache to hold her, to cradle her head and bring it to my shoulder. It was as hard for her to be out of my presence as it was for me to be out of hers. Perhaps more so, as she was still so young and had no understanding of the connection that was growing between us.

I would need to correct that – I needed to explain the mating bond to her – but not yet. I had already pushed the boundaries enough for one day.

I lifted her chin a little, and her eyes met mine once again. "It is difficult for me as well," I said ambiguously. "I would not be leaving if I didn't feel it was important."

"I know I can't go with you, but can we maybe do something when you get back?"

She looked so hopeful, eager for a positive response.

"Anything you wish to." Her expression turned incredulous, and I laughed. "Within reason," I added.

I had already imagined that I would take her down by the river after my session with Jacob, to share with her what I had learned. I didn't dare take her further than that, in case she did get her memories back.

I didn't need to possess the gift of visions to see the potential for danger. I had a feeling that when she did remember herself again, the traumas that had caused her to become lost would be horribly upsetting to her.

**To be continued**

**Author's Note:**

Initially, I was not planning on them kissing in this chapter – the plan was to have him kiss her cheek in return, very close to her lips – but when I got there… Well, it seemed that Edward and Bella _wanted_ to kiss, and who am I to deny them? (grin)

I had a reviewer suggest that I answer reviews and questions in a forum, instead of in my author's notes, but that isn't working out so great. Since I created the forum, only two people have gone to it, and only one responded. So, I'm just going to go back to how I had been doing it, starting with the next chapter. I'll leave the forum up for now, because I've already answered a lot of your reviews over there, but at some point, I'll probably be deleting it. Just FYI on that.

The next chapter will be the 'banner scene' chapter. If you haven't seen the banner for this story yet, created by my beta, Kristylized, you can find it on my webpage, and on the popular Twilight fanfiction site, Twilighted.

Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! Keep 'em comin', 'kay? They fuel my creativity! (smile)

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	18. Chapter 17

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Seventeen

By: Jana~

**XXX**

Jacob was late again. Did the man-child not own a clock?

Slumping against the familiar tree, my mind replayed the morning with Bella as I waited impatiently for him to arrive.

The bond between us was definitely growing. After the night we had shared, I was not surprised.

For the first time in my existence, I found myself grateful for our kind's inability to sleep. Every second with Bella was precious, and I didn't want to waste a single one of them.

Our night together was as perfect as the day we had shared, spent on our monstrosity of a bed, enjoying each other's company. We talked again of traveling, of going to Italy, mostly, as that seemed to be a destination of great interest to her. We would have to avoid Volterra, of course, but there were plenty of other places to see, away from the city in which the Volturi resided.

Though Aro might learn of Bella eventually, I would not abet him in doing so.

Closer to dawn, Bella's mood suddenly changed. She became quiet and withdrawn, and her previous smile had downturned. She had realized our time was running short…

_Our hands still clasped between us, I turned onto my side, encouraging her to mirror my position. "Will you share your thoughts with me?"_

_When she shook her head, I carefully placed my free hand on her waist, applying only slight pressure with my fingertips when she did not flinch or recoil. "I will not be long," I promised her again._

_She nodded as she looked away. "Maybe I'll go downstairs and annoy your family for a while."_

_I wanted to tell her that they were her family now as well, but I wasn't sure if she would find that comforting._

"_They would not be annoyed by your company, Bella," I assured her._

_She merely shrugged in response. It seemed she didn't believe me, but I doubted she would have, had I argued the point. I changed the subject instead._

"_When I return, I had considered taking you down by the river, so that we can enjoy the day while we discuss what I learn."_

_Her hand slid up to rest on my arm, her eyes still avoiding mine. "Could you ask him something for me?"_

_There was something specific she wished to know? Curiosity swelled, almost to the point of pain. "Of course."_

_Her hesitation was almost maddening, but I held my tongue, not wanting to rush her. She seemed to be gathering her thoughts._

"_Did I… have a boyfriend? Before this happened, I mean."_

_I fought to control my expression, and my temper. The idea of another man touching her brought unwanted imagery with it. A faceless human, his hands groping her, manhandling her, only concerned with his own pleasure…_

"_I suppose it doesn't matter," she said. "If I did, he'll think I'm dead now, anyway. I was just curious."_

"_I will ask him." If she caught the strain in my voice, she didn't react to it._

_Or perhaps she was more aware of my anger than I assumed. She began to play with the hairs on my arm, soothingly, gently twisting them between her thumb and forefinger. As my rage slipped into nonexistence, I hummed in approval of her innocent affection._

"_Will you see me to the door, Bella?" I wanted to spend every moment with her that I could before I had to leave._

_Her sad eyes finally met mine. "Yes," she whispered._

_Still holding her hand, I led the way down the stairs, absorbing all of her that I could, hoping to avoid insanity while I was away. I turned to face her once in the foyer._

_Bravely, desperately, I wrapped my arm around her waist and brought her as near to me as was physically possible. Her eyes widened, no longer showing sadness, but surprise._

"_During every second of my absence, I will look forward to being in your company again."_

_Though my declaration had relaxed her a little, I knew she was still anxious. Jasper confirmed that as he and Alice remained quietly aside._

_Short of staying, I knew there was nothing I could do to quell her unease, but I had to try. Slowly, I combed my fingers into her hair and lightly pressed my lips to hers…_

"You're losing your touch, Cullen. What if I was a dangerous predator?"

I could tell by his thoughts that he was grinning. I rolled my eyes as I opened them. "Most predators are hardly dangerous. And you are late again."

His grin faltered and disappeared. "The pack wasn't exactly happy about me coming."

I felt both sympathy and irritation as I witnessed the scene play out within his thoughts. They had detained him for nearly thirty minutes, arguing and challenging his loyalties.

"I'm sorry, Jacob."

"No worries. It's just 'cause they're hot-blooded." He patted his chest three times. "One hundred and eight degrees, get it?"

He smirked, pleased with his little joke, and I smiled back.

"So, where do you want to start?" He walked toward me purposefully and sat down, closer to me than he had been the other day.

"Bella had a question," I said as I joined him.

Briefly, he wondered if she might have regained her memories, but quickly concluded that I would have told him if she had. "Okay, shoot."

"She was wondering if she had a boyfriend." I tensed in anticipation of the answer I was dreading. Of course it wouldn't change anything – our present or our future – but the jealous, possessive side of me wanted to be the only man who had ever or would ever touch her.

"No," he said, and I could feel the relief wash over me. "I don't think she's ever had one. I know Mike Newton asked her to the first dance of the year, but she turned him down. Not sure why – if it was because she didn't like him, or because she can't dance."

"She can't dance?"

"No. She trips on her own feet standing still!" He laughed at that, shaking his head. "She'd probably kill herself if she tried to dance."

I wasn't sure what he was referring to, but then his memories jumped around multiple instances, depicting Bella tripping or falling…

She had been clumsy as a human?

Jacob scowled a little, a near perfect facsimile of my own expression. "You haven't noticed how klutzy she is?"

"As a vampire, she is extremely graceful."

His brow arched, his surprise evident. "Really? Is that a vampire thing?"

"Yes."

It was a little more complicated than that, but I felt the simplest answer would be best. Usually, one's gracefulness depended upon the extent of that trait as a human. Since Bella had not possessed physical grace before, I was left pondering how she had come to possess it now.

Would the mysteries surrounding this beautiful, amazing creature ever cease?

When I returned from my reverie, Jacob was staring at me curiously. "What's next?" he asked.

"I have a question that is not related to her past." Several considerations shifted through his thoughts, to include the problems with his pack. I shook my head. "We were wondering if Chief Swan found the evidence in the clearing."

Looking away from me, he said, "Yeah, yesterday…"

_Charlie looked completely unstable, like his legs were about to collapse, as he stared down at the dried blood and scattered remnants of Bella's belongings. When a sob escaped him, Jacob wrapped his arm around him._

"_The others can handle this, Chief," Jacob whispered._

_Charlie shook his head, attempting to compose himself. "Could you call your dad for me? Let him know what's going on, but ask him not to tell Renee. I should be the one to tell her."_

"I'm so sorry, Jacob."

His memory dissolved. "I know. It worked, though. They think she was attacked by a bear or a mountain lion or something."

I nodded, waiting a few moments, out of respect, before changing the subject. "Had Bella ever shown an interest in traveling?"

A memory formed instantly – she and Jacob were in a garage of sorts, sitting cross-legged near a motorcycle that was in disrepair, eating pizza…

"_I bet pizza tastes better in Italy."_

_Jacob shrugged. "The delivery charges would be killer."_

_Rolling her eyes, Bella retorted, "I meant go to Italy and eat pizza, doofus." Jacob laughed at her teasing insult. "I would love to go there someday. Venice? Rome? The Sistine Chapel? The Trevi Fountain?"_

_Jacob shrugged again, indifferent. "Send me a postcard."_

_She huffed playfully and threw the crust of her pizza at him…_

I grinned, imagining her tucked against my side as she took in the beauty and splendor of the old world architecture. Jacob mistook my expression, assuming I was smiling due to her antics.

"Yeah," he laughed, "she's a little bit…"

"Feisty," I finished for him, "is the general consensus."

He smirked in response. "I guess that word works as good as any."

"Do you know anything of her personal preferences? Her favorite genre of music? Her favorite color?"

He suddenly remembered a time when he had snuck up on her as she washed her truck. She hadn't realized he was there because she had headphones in her ears. Stepping up behind her, he gave them a yank…

"_What are you listening to?" He put one to his ear for a moment. "What the hell is this?" he asked teasingly._

_She snatched her headphones back from him and pushed him away, hand to chest. "There's more music out there than Seattle grunge, Jake. You should try expanding your mind sometime."_

The tune in his memory was wrong, but I could still discern the song; _Claire De Lune _by Debussy.

"Not sure on the music. She's kinda all over the place with that. Her favorite color is purple."

Several images flashed in his mind, until it locked onto one where he was standing with Bella in her room, watching as she made her bed…

_Once she had completed the task, Bella gestured to it with flourish. "What do you think?"_

"_Yeah, nice," he mumbled, his mouth full of food. "Very purple."_

_She rolled her eyes, but there was a slight smile on her face. "Duh. And you need to stand over there with your cow flesh sandwich, please."_

"Cow flesh?" I asked, confused by the odder wording.

"She was a vegetarian," he said with a shrug.

That explained her reaction when hunting the buck. Though she could not remember being a vegetarian, the principles had marked her deeply. It seemed Emmett's joke about Bella being a spokesperson for PETA was not far from the truth.

The anxiety I had been feeling due to being away from Bella grew, to include the possible ramifications of the new information I had learned. Would she forever be inflicted with a sense of remorse every time she hunted?

The need to be home was suddenly overwhelming. I needed to hold Bella in my arms. I needed to talk to Carlisle.

"I should leave now." When I stood abruptly, he quickly scrambled to his feet.

"Hold up a sec. My turn to ask some questions."

I nodded my consent, waiting for him to voice the thoughts that were rattling around inside his mind.

"What happened the other night?" he finally asked.

"I told you, I wasn't prepared for the strength of her human scent."

"You looked like you were in pain."

When the memory of me collapsing to my knees while in Bella's room entered his mind, an echo of that pain inflicted itself upon me. I struggled to keep my expression neutral as I swallowed back the flow of venom.

"Yes. Our thirst is often painful."

He scowled a little. "And then it just went away?"

While he knew of Jasper's gift – we had been honest with them about all of our abilities – I did not feel it prudent to share with him that I had required my brother's help.

"I stopped breathing."

"What would've happened if she'd been there? As a human."

It was a polite way to phrase it, but he was essentially asking if I had been close to succumbing to my inherent instincts. Though I was attempting to be as honest as possible when answering his questions, this was something I would not admit to. I had been dangerously close to surrendering, and if Bella had been there, she would have died.

"It would have been necessary for me to leave immediately."

His next question came into focus, but he hesitated before asking it, wondering if he should. He wasn't certain how he felt about it.

"What's going on with you and Bella?"

The question was vague, giving me the opportunity to shirk it, but I didn't. He would learn the truth sooner or later.

"I care deeply for her, Jacob."

His thoughts jumbled for a moment, before solidifying into images of Bella in my arms, us kissing, blurry figures making love. I scowled at him in response.

"Sorry," he muttered, sighing as he looked away. "And how does she feel?"

I could not speak of Bella's feelings – even if I knew them, which I did not – but I could speak of the facts. "She is bonding to me as well."

His eyes were back on mine within a second. "Bonding? Like imprinting?"

"Yes."

This was a concept he understood. While he had never imprinted, Sam had, and because of the wolves' mental connection, he knew exactly what it felt like. He was aware of the significance.

It also seemed as if he had gone into some form of shock. He stared back at me, unable to find the words to respond with. The guilt I felt for upsetting him was unexpected.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. This was something that was out of my control, much like imprinting."

He ignored my apology. "When were you going to tell me?"

"After Bella had regained her memories. No important decisions will be made until after she has."

"Do you think she'll be getting her memories back soon?"

"I'm not sure. Perhaps this session's information will trigger their return."

He nodded and averted his eyes once again. "Is that why you've been on space patrol lately? 'Cause you're away from Bella?"

"Yes."

He chuckled a little, almost under his breath. "Yeah, Sam gets a little nuts, too, when he's away from Emily for too long. Seems like too much drama. Would rather just miss my gal the normal amount. Less of a mind screw that way."

It seemed that Jacob was actually fine with the idea of Bella and I as mates. It started making more sense to him, the more he thought about it.

"Thank you, Jacob. I appreciate your understanding."

He shrugged, his eyes back on mine. "Just be good to her, and we're cool."

"On my honor." I extended my hand to him, like I had the other day, only this time, he closed the gap and took it.

"You should get back to Bella." He grinned a little. "Before you lose your marbles. Seems like you're missing a few as it is."

I grinned back. "It does seem that way at times, I'm sure."

Suddenly, his smile dropped. "I won't be able to keep this from the others. Once I phase—"

"I know. I'm sorry for any trouble it causes you."

As he shook his head in amusement, his smile returned. "You're the thankin'est _and_ the most apologetic guy I've ever known. Don't worry about it. I can handle my guys."

I was really starting to like Jacob. His teasing, lighthearted insults were his way of expressing friendship. Against generations of instilled hatred, a chief of the Quileute wolf tribe actually considered a vampire a friend.

If one believed in miracles, surely this would rank high amongst them.

I contemplated that during my run home, until my family's thoughts found me.

"_Should we just take her?"_

"_I'm not able to influence her, Emmett. She's too unstable. I wouldn't dare risk it, especially without Edward's permission."_

"_Then maybe we should call him."_

"_Maybe if he wasn't off playing fetch with mutts, this wouldn't have happened."_

"_Rosalie, he's only doing what he feels is best for Bella."_

"_He's coming!" I'm sorry, Edward. I only said it in passing…_

Alice had merely mentioned hunting and Bella snapped. It took both Emmett and Jasper to restrain her. Even with it being two against one, they were struggling to hold her.

_We waited too long to take her hunting._

Jasper was wrong. _We_ hadn't waited too long, _I_ had. I had failed her again, selfishly forgetting about her needs, too immersed in my own pleasure of her company.

I alone was to blame for Bella's current state. She was growling and snarling under Emmett and Jasper, her nails splintering the hardwood floor as she clawed at it, attempting freedom. She was absolutely crazed with thirst.

I almost destroyed the door as I flew into the house.

"_Edward!_"

She sounded as if she was possessed by a demon. My negligence had caused this. If our kind could shed tears, I would have.

I dropped to my knees in front of her. "I'm here, Bella. I'm so sorry." When I raised my hand, reaching out to her, my mother was suddenly at my side, placing hers upon mine.

_That won't work this time, sweetheart._

A snarl of warning ripped from Bella as her glare landed on Esme. "Don't touch him!"

Esme took no offense, of course. She understood that Bella was, in effect, a victim, lost to her newborn insanity. Leaving the decision to me on how to proceed, she stood and joined Rosalie on the other side of the living room. Bella's attention immediately returned to me.

"It burns!" She grabbed at her throat, digging her nails in, breaking her flesh wide open.

"Bella, please…" Firmly, I took hold of her wrists, stopping her from mutilating herself further. She could have easily pulled out of my grasp, but she didn't even attempt to.

My touch settled her marginally, her growls now a low rumble that vibrated the floor beneath her. It was as calm as she would ever be under the circumstances. I signaled to Emmett and Jasper to let her up, helping her to her knees once they did before wrapping my arms around her. She grasped at me desperately, ripping the back of my sweater in her frenzy.

"Help me!"

If I had been alive, the sound of Bella's anguished plea would have killed me.

Brushing my lips against her ear, I whispered, "I'm going to help you, Bella, but I need you to trust me."

I was planning to test that trust. We would not be hunting mountain lion today. They were too far away, and every second counted when she was this volatile. We would be hunting deer; the very creatures she didn't want to hunt most of all.

I knew of the risks involved, but I would rather she hate me for a time than to have her be in pain for a moment longer. I would do anything to ease her suffering. If I'd had blood in my veins, I would have sliced one open and let her drink from me.

She moved back, remaining partially within my embrace, and stared at me. There was a little red now to her pitch black eyes, but she was still dangerously thirsty. Still dangerously unstable.

_Now, Edward, before she unhinges again._

My siblings kept pace behind us as we followed the river downstream, to a spot where deer often gathered to drink. Only after spotting them, after her instincts triggered, did I release her hand. She took down an older doe and was drinking before my brothers and sisters caught up.

_She's not gonna be happy about this when she's finished,_ Emmett thought. I simply nodded in response.

I was acutely aware of that probability. That was why I had asked all of my siblings, Rosalie as well, to come with us. If it became necessary – if Bella hated me in the wake of it – the four of them could take her back to the house.

I wouldn't leave her again, but I would keep my distance if she wanted me to.

A moment later, as Bella struggled to pull the last of the blood from her kill, the winds shifted. Every one of us tensed and froze.

Not far from us, there was a group of three hikers who had become lost. I had been so focused on Bella, watching for any sign of distress from her, that I had not heard them wander nearer.

Alice's vision was brief as it turned into a reality. Bella growled and took off, in the direction of the new scents that had found us.

"Bella, wait!" I was beside her a second later, keeping pace. "You don't want to do this. Please, listen to me. Hold your breath."

I reached out to her, but before Alice could predict it or I could react, Bella grabbed my hand and, with all her newborn strength, threw me into a tree as we passed it. I could feel the fissures spreading, weakening me.

_Edward!_

"Tend to Bella, Alice. Go. I'm fine."

My siblings ran past me, continuing after Bella as I recovered. Eight seconds later I was gaining on them.

When Alice's visions suddenly disappeared, absolute terror like I had never felt before filled me. I pushed myself faster.

The repugnant stench, intermingling with the scent of Bella, assaulted me as I neared. A lone, anguished thought rode on the waves of many angry ones. I could see Bella through their eyes, crouched defensively, snarling and scared. She was no longer a huntress. She was like a wild animal who had been cornered.

"Wait! Don't do this!" When I was close enough, I leapt in front of Bella, positioning myself between her and the wolves.

_I don't have a choice. You know I don't._

Even as he thought that, he was desperately trying to determine a way to avoid it. His pain was almost tangible.

"Jacob, listen to me, please. She didn't know what she was doing."

My siblings arrived, ready for battle, but I signaled for them to stay back. Reasoning with them, with Jacob, was worth an attempt.

_Ignorance is no excuse! He vowed they'd watch her! He's just as guilty! They all are!_

_Paul._

Jacob thought his name in warning to him; his attention was still on me.

_I'm listening. Explain it. Explain why her eyes are red._

That was the concerning issue, more than anything else. Their understanding of the differences between vampires with red eyes and vampires with gold eyes was narrow and deficient. There were no shades of gray with the wolves, only black and white.

To them, Bella's eyes being red could mean only one thing.

"A newborn's eyes are red, regardless of diet, because their own human blood lingers in their tissues. We have been watching her, Jacob, I give you my word. She has not been hunting humans."

_We just caught her hunting humans!_

"She caught the scent, but we never would have allowed her to reach them, Paul, I promise you."

_A promise from a bloodsucker means nothing to me!_

_Paul. Calm down or leave._

Jacob was trying to keep things from escalating, but his pack knew that and was annoyed with him for it. Since they were already questioning his loyalties, it only added insult to injury. The wolves were on the brink of mutiny.

_I will not calm down! They said they would watch her, but we find her hunting humans! I say this ends the treaty!_

_I will not end what's been in place for a century – something my grandfather put in place – for a moment like this. A moment that didn't even end in bloodshed._

_Because we stopped it! Who knows what would have happened if we hadn't._

That was the loophole Jacob had been waiting for; undeniable reasonable doubt.

_Exactly. Who knows? We don't. She might have stopped herself at the last second. They might have stopped her. I won't end this treaty on what ifs. But I'm warning you, Cullen, you better keep an eye on her. I care about her, but my duty – our duty – is to our tribe, and to the people of Forks. If you can't control her, I will have to destroy her. Next time, I won't stop to listen to explanations._

"Thank you, Jacob." I placed my hand on the small of Bella's back and whispered her name, encouraging her to follow me.

I was eager to leave, wanting to remove her from the situation as quickly as possible. While Jacob had sided with us, his pack was pissed at him because he had. Without the benefit of Jasper's influence – he had been forbidden to use his gift on them; they tolerated my gift due to necessity – the extreme instability had all the earmarks of a disaster waiting to happen.

Confused and frightened, Bella hovered near me as we walked away. After several feet, I took her hand and set out at a run.

**To be continued**

**Author's Note:**

And that was the banner scene chapter. (smile) I wrote the end scene months ago, and have been sitting on it, waiting to use it. So jazzed to be able to share it now!

Next up… Edward is a little more open/honest with Bella. (grin)

Thanks to my beta, Kristylized, for putting up with my annoying self.

Responses:

Vivx-chan: A little cheesy, perhaps, but cheese is good. :)

Gwen Cooper 426: Thanks! I tend to lean towards sweet and tentative with intimacy. :)

Krish bulani: Thanks! Glad you liked it!

Kycee: LOL, yeah, lots still to come!

Sweetpea123: No worries. And thanks! Glad you liked it!

Bella/Jana?: Thank you so much for sharing with me! What a sweet story! So, they got married at the end of their first bus ride together? Glad you liked the chapter! Thank you for the wonderful compliments.

To everyone I didn't mention specifically: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad you liked the chapter/kiss. I'll admit, I was nervous about the 'meadow chapter'… I'm so very glad it didn't disappoint!

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	19. Chapter 18

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Eighteen

By: Jana~

**XXX**

Were I human, I most certainly would have gone into cardiac arrest. The idea of losing her, exacerbated by the images shared through the wolves' mental connection, of them ripping her apart, limb from limb, had thrown me into a state of sheer panic.

I would have fought off their attack with every ounce of skill and strength I possess, but had they succeeded, I would have followed Bella into death without resistance. I could never live in a world where she doesn't exist.

The wolves' thoughts weakened and disappeared as we gained distance from them, and I only paid as much attention to my siblings' thoughts as was absolutely necessary. My main focus was on Bella. Her hand gripped mine tightly, her body tense with fear as we ran.

But she was safe. Her existence had been spared, no thanks to me, but due to Jacob's intervention. If his team of mutts had been patrolling without him…

"You can talk to wolves."

Her soft voice, scared and confused, disrupted my thoughts.

"These wolves, yes."

Because the Quileute wolves were not like standard wolves. Though I could hear the tenor of their thoughts, I could not communicate with less cerebral creatures, nor could they respond intelligently to me. Not that any animal had ever lingered in my presence long enough to confirm that fact. They could sense the danger, and had always fled once they knew I was near.

"They wanted to kill me."

Sighing, knowing I could no longer avoid having this conversation with her, I slowed us to a stop and faced her. She deserved to know, and my reticence had not done her any favors thus far.

My siblings stopped a moment after we did, still a half mile behind us.

"Not all of them."

I watched her closely, trying to determine what she might be thinking, but her expression held no clues as to what was going through her mind.

"Not Jacob."

She had discerned that from my side of the conversation alone? Or perhaps it was obvious, since besides Seth, Jacob had been the only one not snarling in anger.

"No, not Jacob."

"The name isn't coincidental, is it?"

She was piecing it together, assembling all of what she knew to create an understanding of everything I had not told her.

"No," I admitted.

"I was friends with a wolf?"

"Yes. Not exactly," I amended. "You knew him only in his human form. You didn't know of his ability to phase. Jacob never told you, for fear that it would unnerve you."

She rolled her eyes. "I guess I missed that memo – the one informing everyone I know that I'm incapable of handling the truth."

Her sarcasm brought a smile to my face, but it quickly dissolved from my expression. She had every right to be upset. "I'm sorry, Bella. I should not have kept something so important from you. My negligence nearly cost us both. I have failed you as a teacher."

"Whoa. That's not true, Edward. You're a great teacher, I just want you to be honest with me. I can handle it. Or maybe I can't," she added, "but if I freak out, Emmett will pin me down for a bit, and then you'll touch me, and I'll calm down…."

I immediately reached out, her words drifting into silence as I cupped her cheek. "Ask me anything, and I will answer to the best of my ability."

Her breathing hitched and ceased. "The electricity thing when you touch me…?"

Of course she would ask the most difficult question first. I dropped my hand from her face, brushing it down her arm before taking hers in mine. "The closest comparison would be an adrenalin rush. It accompanies attraction for another."

Shyly, she lowered her gaze to the ground beside us. "That makes sense."

Wanting to see her eyes, wanting her to see the truth of what I was about to admit in mine, I lifted her chin and recaptured her attention. "I feel it as well, Bella."

When I touched my lips to hers, it seemed as if the entire universe had shifted to accommodate the force of it. A force that altered time, and space, and gravity…

Suddenly, her hands were in my hair, grasping and pulling, her kisses fevered and desperate.

_Mine!_

My arm encircled her waist, bringing her up against me as I drowned in sensation, and pleasure, and need. I needed her to be mine, right now and forever. There was nothing else in the known and unknown galaxies beyond that truth; beyond Bella and my love for her.

Sweeping her hair to the side, I nuzzled her neck, planting soft kisses so as to state my intentions. I was too far gone, driven by instinct, to realize that she had no idea of what those intentions were.

_Edward! No! Not yet!_

I heard Alice's thoughts, but I was past heeding her warning. I was deeply inebriated, lost to the intoxicating effects of Bella's scent, heady and perfect and tinged with her desire. Nothing short of a nuclear holocaust could have reached me…

"Edward?"

Except for the sound of Bella's tiny, unsure voice, questioning me. It sobered me in an instant, finally allowing me to regain my faculties, allowing Alice's vision of what had nearly happened to assault me.

Ashamed, disgusted by my almost-actions, I placed one final, soft kiss on Bella's flawless skin before resting my forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry if I frightened you," I whispered.

"You didn't frighten me. I was just going to suggest—" My brothers and sisters arrived, interrupting her sentence, which clearly annoyed her. She rolled her eyes as she left my embrace. "Oh good, the security detail has arrived."

Emmett laughed, causing Bella to scowl at him in response. "Sorry," he said, still laughing.

Bella did not like being laughed at. She huffed, her footfalls dramatically heavy as she stomped away. I glared at my brother before rushing after her.

"Bella, wait, please."

My plea did not stop her, but she did slow her pace. Upon reaching her, I offered her my hand. Thankfully, she accepted it.

"I'm so glad your family finds me so amusing," she muttered.

I heard Emmett think the word 'feisty', but at least he curbed his laughter that time.

"My family does not find you amusing, Bella. Emmett can be a bit childish at times, but he means well."

"He seemed pretty amused to me."

"He was only laughing because of your sarcastic comment."

She stopped walking abruptly and faced me. "Why do they have to constantly shadow us? I stayed calm out in the meadow, didn't I?"

"You did, but then you had a… moment, when Alice just mentioned hunting…"

She suddenly tensed, a low growl emanating from deep within her.

"Bella, are you still thirsty?"

Her teeth clenched, and a slight tremor took over her body.

"Bella, if you're still thirsty—"

"No! I don't want to hunt another deer! I didn't want to hunt that one!"

She was struggling for control, her instincts and her guilt at war. There was a similar battle waging within my conscience; instinct to protect her from discomfort against guilt for being the cause of her remorse.

I moved nearer, so that our close proximity might soothe us both. "You didn't hunt it. I practically forced you, but only because I didn't want you to suffer any longer. I won't do that to you again, Bella, I promise. I will take you to hunt a mountain lion."

"I don't want to hunt _anything_." She was calmer now, but frustrated. "Can't I just… _not_? What's the worst that will happen?"

I brushed the back of my fingers against her cheek. "Bella, please, you need to feed properly."

"What would happen?" she asked again, calmer still.

I knew exactly what would happen; the thought of her suffering in that manner pained me.

When Carlisle was first changed, he knew what he had become. He knew what was needed to survive, but he refused to do it. Hiding away, far from human contact, he tried to end his existence in a multitude of ways, but of course none of them were successful. At the time, he didn't know that our kind could substitute the blood of animals for human blood. He had been mad with thirst when a herd of deer wandered too close to his location.

"Your reaction today? Imagine that a million times worse, and then multiply that by a million."

I watched her closely as she seemed to consider my words, prepared to argue further if need be, but that proved to be unnecessary. Several moments later, she sighed in resignation.

"Fine, but I want it on the record that I don't want to do this."

I smiled at her, gently, not in amusement but because I was relieved by her willingness to be reasonable. "Duly noted."

Upon reaching the ridge, once we caught the scent, I released her hand, allowing her to track the nearby male on her own. For someone who didn't want to hunt, she certainly was a natural. She stalked toward him, remaining downwind, waiting for just the right moment to pounce.

She snapped his neck to quiet his struggling before sinking her teeth into his jugular, her eyes wide and wild as she took long pulls, drinking deeply, desperate to quench her thirst. Only once she had drained him dry did her inexperience show itself. Manically, she fought to find more, ripping a chunk of his skin off in the process.

"Bella, he's dry."

She looked up at me and snarled, warning me to stay away before returning to her spent kill.

"Bella," I said again, firmly.

That time when she looked up, she didn't threaten me. Her eyes widened just a little.

"He's dry." My firm tone met my eyes, and hers softened.

She stood and wiped the long sleeve of her turquoise shirt across her mouth, wincing as she watched the blood seep into the fibers of the fabric. The guilt was unmistakable, but I knew it wasn't solely due to the stain on her clothing.

"We will get you a new shirt, Bella." I offered her my hand but kept the distance between us. I needed her to touch me, but on her own terms. She was on the brink of cognizance, and I wanted to help her back.

Walking toward me, slowly, she glanced back at the mountain lion carcass once before placing her small, trembling hand in mine. I didn't praise her as I had wanted to, because she would not have wanted that, but I felt a compulsion to acknowledge what she had done in a positive way, especially after learning what I had from Jacob.

"Thank you, Bella."

She looked up at me, confused. "For what?"

"For feeding properly. I know how it upsets you, and I believe I know why." Her expression changed from confusion to curiosity. "Were you still interested in knowing what I learned from Jacob?"

Her eager nod did not surprise me. Even after all she had been through, the need to remember herself had not abated in the slightest. From what I knew of her, the little I did know, I doubted it ever would.

Despite my anxieties of what horrors her gained memories might bring, I wanted that for her, and I wanted it for myself as well. The need to mate with her was growing stronger, disturbing the axis of the planet with its pull, leaving me unbalanced as the hold of earth's gravity transferred to Bella. But I could not claim her in good conscience until she was comfortable with herself, and I was sure she would never be so before her amnesia had lifted.

Our hands clasped tightly, we ran in silence as we headed home, an arc of nervous energy flowing between us. The pending conversation about my meeting with Jacob was heavy on my mind, but that was not the only reason for my nerves. I knew I was about to upset her, and so my cowardice prevented me from informing her of my plans until we were through the door, standing in the foyer.

"Today has been difficult for you, I know, and I'm very sorry to do this, but I must leave you for just a little while." It looked as if she was about to protest, so I quickly continued before she could. "I need to go to the hospital, to speak with Carlisle. I would not be leaving if it wasn't important."

Yanking her hand from mine, she scowled and stomped away from me. Not wanting to startle her, not wanting a repeat of her throwing me through a glass wall, I didn't touch her to stop her, but I did follow.

"Don't walk away from me, Bella."

She spun back around, glaring. "There's always something more important than me."

That was completely untrue. I was almost appalled that she could even say such a thing, but I could see in her eyes that she honestly believed it. How could I possibly explain to her that my entire world revolved around her?

"Nothing is more important than you, Bella." Her expression softened a little, dissolving my frustration. "I'm doing this _for_ you. I need to consult with him on what I learned from Jacob before sharing it with you. Please don't be angry with me."

She sighed and leaned into me, her forehead resting against my shoulder. I loved the sweetness of this position; her seeking my comfort and affection. I combed my hand into her hair and cradled her to me, gently. Reverently, like she deserved.

"Is it bad? What you found out?"

"No, Bella, it's not bad, but you might have questions, and I want to have the answers for you if you do."

Nodding against me, she asked, "Did you ask him my question?"

"I did." I shifted my position a little, encouraging her to meet my eyes. "I will share everything with you when I return. We'll go down to the river, just you and I."

"They can still hear us," she whispered.

"It is merely a precaution, Bella. If you regain your memories, it might be unsettling to you."

She looked away from me and sighed. She wasn't happy about my leaving, not in the slightest, but I had no choice. I needed to discuss more than human Bella's vegetarianism. I needed Carlisle's insight on what had happened with her today, while out in the forest.

I placed a soft kiss on her pouting lips, but that only lifted her spirits a little. I would do everything within my abilities to make it up to her upon my return, and I promised her as much as she walked me to my car.

I took the Volvo instead of running, wanting the additional time it would take me so that I could think.

Despite my best intentions to wait, I had lost my head and almost claimed her anyway. My instinct had overpowered all other considerations, including that I would frighten her.

My behavior had been unacceptable. She was finally starting to trust me, and I had very nearly taken that gift and cast it aside like some insignificant, unwanted trinket.

It was a mistake I would not be repeating.

I parked near the emergency room, knowing that was where my father was by his thoughts, treating an elderly gentleman who was experiencing chest pains and shortness of breath. He knew I was in the doorway before turning to visually confirm that.

_What is it, Edward?_ I gave a subtle jerk of my head, and he nodded. _Meet me in my office._

I traversed the hallways cautiously, attempting to avoid the many female nurses and one male nurse who would undoubtedly fawn over me. Our kind was very attractive to humans. If Carlisle wasn't so completely devoted to Esme, she might have had a reason to worry. The fantasies spun by his coworkers were annoying, especially since they knew he was married. How easy it was for them to ignore that fact.

Of course my father was aware of their attraction – the telltale signs were obvious; dilated eyes, rapid heart rate, quickened breathing – but he didn't know of their inappropriate thoughts about him. I felt it best to keep those to myself, so as not to create an uncomfortable working environment for him.

Their fantasies about me were just as ludicrous. Never mind that they believed me to be a seventeen year old child and many years their junior, their thoughts often jumped back and forth between my father and myself. Occasionally, one of them would think of us both at the same time.

Disturbing, to say the least.

Thankfully, I made it to Carlisle's office undetected, where I fidgeted impatiently for the eighteen minutes it took for him to join me. We stared at each other for a long few moments before he finally spoke.

"Has something happened?"

Something had _almost_ happened, but I would get to that momentarily. "As a human, Bella was a vegetarian."

"Ah. Yes, well, that explains a few things."

"Today, she asked me for the second time, what would happen if she didn't hunt. I'm concerned that she might never be able to without remorse."

"My best advice would be to discuss your concerns with her. Perhaps use analogies, such as, does she fault the predators of the animal kingdom for hunting?"

I nodded as I looked away.

"Son, you can always come to me for advice, and I appreciate that you have, but I suspect that Bella's difficulty with hunting is not the reason you're here. You are a smart man, and could have determined how best to handle the situation on your own."

My father wasn't just wise and compassionate, he was also incredibly perceptive. While I had wanted to know his thoughts on that issue, I had a far more pressing matter on my mind.

Suddenly, as I prepared to confess my crime to my father, shame assaulted me anew. In all my years, through all of my transgressions, his love for me never faltered, but I still found it difficult to admit my shortcomings to him. I wanted to earn the pride he had in me. I wanted to be the man he believed me to be.

But I wasn't, and today had proven that yet again.

I sighed as I met my father's eyes. "I almost claimed Bella."

Nodding, he gestured for me to take a seat, joining me by taking his at the edge of his desk.

"Almost?" he asked.

"I was only trying to comfort her, to assure her that I return her feelings. I was not prepared for her enthusiastic response to my kissing her."

"What stopped you?"

"It felt like nothing would have. The pull to make her mine clouded all better judgment. It was Bella's voice, quietly speaking my name."

"Was she asking you to stop?"

I shook my head. "She was unaware of my intentions."

"Does she remain unaware?"

"Yes."

"And you're certain she wasn't ready?"

I was starting to become antsy, annoyed by his incessant questions. I curbed my irritation the best I could when answering him. "Alice had a vision."

He ignored my brusque tone and continued. "What did Alice see happening?"

"Bella became frightened and ran from me." When remembering her expression of fear, I gripped the arm of the chair too hard, splintering the wood. "Sorry."

Dismissing the damage with a wave of his hand, he asked, "Did Bella shy away from you at any time?"

"No, but she wasn't aware of what I was about to do."

"Perhaps subconsciously, she was. This situation is unique, because Bella's newborn mentality is unique, but from what you have told me, I believe you are both ready."

"But she has yet to regain her memories." How could she be ready when she didn't even know who she was? When she was only days old, and had no knowledge of the mating bond?

"Do you believe her feelings will change once she does?"

"I don't know." My father raised his eyebrow at me incredulously. "No," I admitted, "but she deserves to know who she is before I ask her to make a commitment of this magnitude."

"You remember little of your human life."

"Are you saying she might never regain her memories?" Imagining the frustration that would cause her made me cringe.

"No, I'm not saying that, but there is no way to know for certain just how much she will remember. How many more excuses will you use to deny your happiness, Edward?"

"My happiness is secondary to Bella's."

"Another excuse, Edward?"

"It is not an excuse," I nearly growled, irritated. This was not the reprimand I was expecting to receive. "Alice's visions—"

"Are subjective, and you know it," he said, interrupting me. "I concede that without understanding, Bella might be frightened, but if you explain it to her first—"

"But what if explaining it frightens her? I don't want to lose her."

"You won't. You won't frighten her, and you won't lose her. She is already yours, son, as you are hers. You only need to make it official."

"Not before she regains her memories," I said firmly. On this I would not compromise.

"And if it takes years for her to?"

"Then I will wait years. Whatever the consequences of that, I will suffer the effects without complaint."

"And what of Bella's suffering? Everything you are experiencing, she is as well. You would deny Bella her mate – sentence her to the unrest and confusion – all because she has no memory of her life before as a human?"

I could see my expression, contorted in pain, within Carlisle's thoughts. _Such anguish._ He sighed as he shook his head. "Son, I know you want what is best for her, but what you seem to be failing to realize is, what is best for her is you. All of you."

I could never be what was best for her. She deserved far better than a monstrous creature, tainted by the sins of his past. When she learned of all I had done, what would she think of me then?

"She knows so little about me," I whispered.

"And you know little of her. Can you imagine learning anything about her that would change your feelings for her?"

"No, but she is perfect."

"No one is perfect, son, and _you_ are a good man who has turned from his mistakes. You _are_ worthy of her affections."

I so badly wanted that to be true – I wanted to be worthy of her joy, and her purity, and her light – but it wasn't. I was far too selfish not to accept it, though, regardless of that fact.

"You say your happiness is secondary to Bella's. Is it so hard to understand that she feels exactly the same? Since the very beginning, since she first placed her hand in yours, she has been trying to please you. She might not have been fully aware of that initially, but she is aware of it now."

"I know."

"_Paging Dr. Cullen to E.R., stat. Paging Dr. Cullen to E.R., stat."_

"My patient needs me." He gestured for me to follow him to the door, but when we reached it, he turned to face me instead of leaving. "I'm sure I have given you much to think about, but I would like to add one more thing. It's time to forgive yourself, son. Please. Your decades of self-torment have gone on long enough. You're not only hurting yourself, but everyone who loves you, which now includes Bella as well."

His hand fell upon my shoulder, offering comfort to offset the harshness of the lesson he was attempting to teach me. "Imagine the situation in reverse. If Bella were to make the same mistakes you had, could you bear to witness her self-hatred? Would you want her to forgive herself?"

As if he knew what my answer would be, he gave me a nod and left without another word.

I understood the point my father was trying to make, but there was one major flaw with his proposition. No, I could not bear to witness her self-flagellation, and yes, I would absolutely want her to forgive herself, but the difference was, she would never do what I had done. She was too good to do such a thing. In a crazed newborn moment, maybe, but she would never do so willingly, with full knowledge of her actions.

If such a moment were to happen – like earlier when she had started hunting the three lost hikers – the fault would be mine. It was my responsibility to protect her from herself, to prevent any scenario that might end in human bloodshed. If she were to take a life – a human life – it would be my failure, not hers.

But she would blame herself, anyway, and that would be my fault as well. If she were to drink a human… the guilt and shame and pain she would feel in the wake of that…

No more mistakes. Bella needed me to help her through this. I would not fail her again.

**To be continued**

**Author's Note:**

Don't'cha just love how Edward took all that Carlisle said and turned it into more self-bashing? Yeah, self-loathing little vampires are quite exasperating at times, ain't they? LOL! Don't worry, Bella will set him straight… eventually. (grin)

Favorite line in this chapter: "…How many more excuses will you use to deny your happiness, Edward?"

As always, thanks to my beta, Kristylized, for all she does!

Responses:

ThePinkTabby: Old-fashioned courtship… yeah. Well, Edward _is_ from a different era. (smile)

HopeStreet: No, they sure don't. Don't worry, I have a reason for playing it this way. (grin)

MagicSquirrel: Thank you! I'm imagining your little happy dance in your seat, LOL!

Green2130: Thank _you_! (smile)

Hushi Taloa: LOL, scruples strangled at birth! Yeah. (grin)

Aslan: One of the canon concepts is that Bella only had control because she had time to prepare before becoming a vampire. In this fic, she didn't have that time. More about her shield will come up in future chapters. And, um, are you asking me to make her more powerful and in control? I'm really sorry if this comes across as rude, and I mean this with the utmost respect, but I'm not taking requests on how to portray her. Her character has already been established.

Krish Bulani: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the continued support of this story! (smile)

Kristin04: I'm very and truly sorry that the last chapter disappointed you. Hopefully this one did not. Ironically, my beta said that the last chapter was her favorite of the series thus far.

G16299: Thanks! So glad that you are! I hope you continue to!

AJ04-Jtrs98: LOL, sorry. Glad you liked it, though, even with the almost-heart failure! (grin)

Smil0514: Great! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

ADarnell: LOL, a nap or a drink! Glad you liked the chapter! (smile)

SatinCoveredSteel: Yeah, ditto. I wanted to portray Jacob as he could have been in the saga, had he not taken that weird turn in New Moon.

And to everyone else: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! It's greatly appreciated!

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	20. Chapter 19

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Nineteen

By: Jana~

**XXX**

I was livid beyond words. If not for my desire to avoid a car accident – the time it would take to deal with that was not something I wished to waste – I would have destroyed the steering wheel in my tightened grasp.

Sealing the bond between mates varies from couple to couple. The act itself is the same, but the manner in which one approaches that depends upon individual preferences. Some take a more animalistic approach, like Emmett and Rosalie. Others take a gentler approach, like Carlisle and Esme. To my understanding, Alice and Jasper's act of mating fell somewhere in between.

When it came time to explain the act of mating to Bella, I wanted to do so in private, gently. I wanted to hold her in my arms and cherish her so that she would not be frightened. I did _not_ want her first exposure to the subject to be Rosalie's account of her and Emmett's almost-violent act of claiming each other.

Alice knew I was close, she knew I could hear them through their thoughts, but she and Rosalie continued with their conversation anyway, despite that, almost rushing now so that they could finish it before my arrival. They knew Bella was listening, and worse still, they had meant for her to hear them.

Their interference had gone too far this time. Well meaning or not – though I was leaning more toward _not_ in that moment – they had crossed a line they should not have.

Once I was on the private road leading to the house, I pushed the speedometer to well past ninety, screeching to a stop in front of the steps instead of parking in the garage. I was inside, in the living room, in front of my sisters, in seconds, my body rigid with the anger I was feeling.

Rosalie's smug, self-satisfied smirk remained as she rolled her eyes. _Unclench. We did you a favor! How about a little gratitude?_

"Gratitude?" I hissed, glaring harder.

_We didn't say anything to her directly,_ Alice thought. At least she had the decency to seem contrite. _We just let her overhear us. It's better that she know, and this way, you don't have to be the one to tell her._

But it was _my_ responsibility to tell her, not theirs. That I was afraid to didn't change that fact.

"Do I meddle in your affairs?" I asked them harshly.

They didn't answer. Instead, Alice nodded in the direction of behind me. I had been too angry, too focused on my sisters, for Bella's presence to register.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

I glared at Alice and Rosalie for a brief additional moment, conveying that our conversation wasn't over, before softening my expression and turning to face her.

"Nothing beyond sibling discord." Until she brought up what she had overheard – if she brought it up at all – I would not mention it. To do so might embarrass her, and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. "Are you ready to go to the river?"

She flashed beside me in answer, reaching to grasp my hand. That simple physical connection to her obliterated what was left of my anger.

I led the way outside, past my haphazardly parked Volvo, to the large rock slab overlooking the water. Once she settled in, cross-legged, I joined her, very aware of how nervous she was. She began to wring her hands as she watched the river flow by us.

Hoping to ease her fidgeting, I moved nearer, cupping my hands over hers. "Where would you like to start?" It was only right that she should lead this, at least as much as was possible.

As if indifferent, she shrugged, but then answered, "The hunting thing?"

"As a human, you were a vegetarian." What Carlisle said to me at the hospital, his suggested analogy, entered my mind. I would use it if need be.

Confused eyes met mine abruptly. "But… I don't remember…"

"Human traits and principles sometimes linger after the change, and not always on a conscious level."

"Oh." Sighing, she returned her attention to the water.

Her nominal response frustrated me. I wanted her to elaborate – surely she had some opinion on the matter – but demanding she do so seemed unmannerly.

_Let her lead,_ I reminded myself. "What would you like to know next?"

Shifting her gaze to our hands, mine still atop hers, she asked, "The boyfriend thing?"

She tensed, similarly to the way I had when posing the question to Jacob earlier that morning. I briefly wondered if our reasons why were similar as well.

"No, you didn't have a boyfriend. Jacob believes you never have."

Turning her hands, palms up, she pressed her fingertips into the heels of mine. The connection this created seemed far more poignant than the simplicity of it implied. "'Kay. That's good," she said, a hint of relief in her subdued tone. "One less person hurting because of this."

Her compassion for others was nothing short of inspiring. In some respects, it rivaled Carlisle's.

Mimicking her gesture, I applied pressure with my fingertips against the heels of her hands, further intensifying our physical link. "I'm sorry your loved ones have been forced to endure the pain of losing you. I'm not certain that I would be strong enough, were I in their position."

There was no doubt in my mind; I could not exist without her now.

Nodding, she sighed again, heavily that time. "Who did you leave behind, when you were changed?"

She was looking for commonality. Unfortunately, but also fortunately, she would find none in my answer. "No one. My parents succumbed to the same illness that had almost claimed me, and I was an only child."

"Do you remember much from when you were human?"

This was another instance where we shared no commonality, although that might very well be temporary. "A little. I remember my parents, my mother more than my father. A few likes and dislikes. Vague images of family dinners and time spent at school."

I left unmentioned that I had been eager to join the military once I turned eighteen. Perhaps she was a pacifist, and would take offense to such aspirations. It felt like a ridiculous desire to me now, anyway.

"What else did Jacob tell you?" she asked, back to ferreting out the details of her own human life.

"You have long been interested in touring Italy. You wanted to sample the cuisine while there."

She grimaced a little; a failed smile. "I guess that won't happen now, unless animals in Italy taste different than they do here."

I recognized her attempt at humor for what it was – a camouflage. A thin veil draped loosely over her true feelings in an effort to hide them. She wanted to accept our dietary requirements, but she was still struggling to.

Despite her forced joviality, and also because of it, I gave her a serious, informative response. "There is a slight difference, depending upon the animal's diet, but not so much by their location."

Since continuing the subject of hunting would only deepen her sadness, I quickly changed it, for her sake and for my own. "Jacob says your favorite color is purple."

Her smile, though slight, was genuine now, unlike the strained one from before. "What's _your_ favorite color?"

"Blue." I reached up to finger the collar of her blouse. "This exact shade of blue, actually." Alice's doing, undoubtedly. "The richer hue complements your astounding beauty."

"You think I'm beautiful?"

Had I never told her that? Thinking back over our every conversation, I then realized that I had not. I needed to rectify such an egregious oversight.

"Astoundingly," I answered.

Unpredictable tendencies aside, Bella's reaction to my declaration surprised me. Suddenly, grabbing my hand, she stood and walked to the edge of the rock, then threw herself into the river. I had no choice but to follow, though even if I had been given one, I still would have.

When we surfaced, I was greeted by a proud, triumphant smile.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"Swimming. Duh."

In accompaniment to her sarcastic tone, her smile grew into a mischievous smirk. Playful Bella was making another appearance. I grinned widely back at her.

"Yes, I am aware of that, but is there any particular reason as to why?"

She shrugged simply. "I wanted to see if I could, since we're more like rock."

Did she think we would sink? "If a rock could tread water, I'm sure it would be able to swim as well."

"Maybe. But could it do this?" Slicing her hand across the water, she splashed me in the face, then quickly swam away from me, laughing.

Playful Bella had definitely returned. She kept glancing over her shoulder as she made her escape, taunting me to give chase. So I did.

"You really shouldn't have done that," I teasingly threatened her.

Once close enough to retaliate, I slammed my cupped hands against the water, creating a wave that set her strokes off balance. She spun around and lunged at me, pushing me under, where I grabbed her ankle and pulled her down with me. Fighting for freedom with twists and turns, she gained it only to attack me again, dragging me toward the river bottom.

Our movement disturbed the silt there, but the murkier water allowed for the invention of a new game to be played; a sort of odd version of Hide and Seek. With limited sight and sound, and without the sense of smell, it was as challenging as it was fun.

Through the decades, as a family, we have engaged in various forms of play, but that was more to alleviate the tedium of our existence than anything else. For me it was, at least. I welcomed those distractions, but they paled in comparison to the enjoyment I was experiencing with Bella.

Calling a truce and finally resurfacing, I held her waist as she wrapped her arms around my neck, both of us panting as if affected by the deprivation of oxygen. Inches apart, smiles changing, a pleasant, intimate tension building, we only stared at each other for several long moments.

"The water should be too cold for this," she mentioned abruptly, breaking the silence between us. "I mean, it _is_ cold, but it's like it doesn't matter."

"Extreme temperatures mean little to us," I explained, and then my lips were on hers, tasting her sweetness, indulging beyond the fairly chaste kisses we had shared previously.

Equally met, both of us inexperienced, we learned together – give and take, trial and error, passionately tender. Imperfect perfection. Thankfully, the electricity one feels with their mate is not literal. If it was, we would have electrocuted ourselves and the river life for miles.

Battling for control against the overwhelming need to claim her, that need swelling, second by second, to near-escapable bounds, I did what no lovesick fool in my position should ever have to. I ended the most amazing kiss in all of creation. But not before allowing myself a parting reward. Two last tastes of her lips, first the top, then the bottom, on which I lingered for longer than I had planned.

Holding her tightly to me, I dropped my head to her shoulder, drowning in a sea of emotions, almost trembling from the intensity of them. Her fingers threaded into the hair at the nape of my neck, thrilling and soothing simultaneously.

"You're astoundingly beautiful, too, you know." The randomness of her comment made me laugh, but she seemingly mistook the meaning for it. "Or, I guess _handsome_ would be a better word choice."

"Bella…" I shifted so that I could see her eyes. "You can call me beautiful. You can call me anything you like."

She grinned. "Can I call you _Eddie_?"

"Anything but that," I jokingly scolded her; our shared smiles and humor slowly vanished as I brushed the back of my fingers across her cheek. "Please talk to me. Don't be afraid."

I hoped she understood the meaning behind my words. I wanted to discuss the mating bond – I needed to undo the damage caused by my sisters – but only if she was ready to. I would not force her.

_Let her lead._

Expectantly, I stared back at her, awaiting her response.

_Please, Bella, talk to me._

"I'm not afraid," she whispered, looking away from me, "but…"

Before she could finish her thought, Alice had a sudden vision; brief, hazy around the edges, but the root of it was unmistakable. Bella must have sensed something was wrong by my reaction.

"What?" she asked.

_Edward! Hurry!_ Alice was panicking, and I was on the verge of joining her. There were too many potential outcomes, most of them calamitous, and we were flying blind.

"I'm sorry…" I grabbed Bella's hand, pulling her with me toward the embankment. "We have to go." As soon as we left the water, I set a running pace that I knew she could keep.

"Edward, you're scaring me."

Her tone, confirming her words, caught my attention, but one look at her frightened eyes and I stopped dead in my tracks. Seconds mattered, but Bella mattered more. She needed assurances, to be consoled. "I'm sorry for scaring you, Bella. The situation is urgent, but there is no reason to be afraid."

"Are you?" she asked.

"No." Trying to cover my lie, I kissed her forehead, then retook her hand and led her toward home once again. "But we do need to hurry."

"Why?"

"We have an unexpected visitor coming." _And if you're anywhere nearby when they arrive, there will be bloodshed._

Her hand gripped mine tighter. "Victoria?"

"No."

"Then who?"

There was no time to answer her, and I didn't want to, anyway. I wasn't sure how she would take the news, and insane newborn Bella would only add further problems to our already full supply.

We ran straight into the living room upon reaching the house, where my family was already gathered, their thoughts buzzing with concerns and strategies.

"When, Alice?" I asked.

"A few minutes. No more than ten."

I nodded. "Can you get us a change of clothes?"

"And some towels," Esme added.

Bella and I were both dripping all over her floor, not that my mother cared so much about that. She just didn't want our uninvited guests to slip in it and break their necks.

"Emmett, Rosalie, will you take Bella to the—"

"No!" Bella roared, interrupting my request as she threw herself into my arms. She clung to me fiercely, with all her strength, like she was determined to prevent us from prying her off of me.

"Bella," I soothed, patiently, "the visitor is human. You are not ready to be in such close proximity—"

"I'll hold my breath," she said stubbornly.

"What if you forget for a moment?" I shuddered at the thought. "I need you to trust me. You won't be far, and I won't be long, and then I will come to you, I promise."

Resigned but still unhappy, she left my arms, taking the clothes Alice held for her on her way over to Rosalie.

_Where?_ Emmett asked.

"The cottage." I glanced at Esme to be sure that was all right, which it was.

Rosalie put a comforting arm around Bella's shoulder, guiding her to the door. _She'll be okay. We'll keep her calm._

My sister's helpfulness almost made up for her earlier transgression. Almost. "Just keep your thoughts about certain subjects to yourself," I called after her. Satisfied with the silent acquiescence that followed, I faced Alice again. "Is it an ambush?"

"I don't know," she answered, handing me dry jeans and a t-shirt. She then turned around for a few moments, respectfully, so that I could change. My mother averted her eyes as she began to mop up the mess of water. "It was too brief, and I only saw that much because they got separated at a red traffic light."

"Let's not be accusatory," Carlisle said calmly, attempting to keep the tension from escalating. "We don't yet know why they're coming."

"You can bet it's not a social call." Jasper was even more suspicious of the situation than I was.

"You've gotten to know him a bit better recently," Esme mentioned while gathering the discarded wet clothes and towels. "Would he do such a thing?"

"I don't believe so…" That I could have possibly missed something so crucial made me cringe. Wouldn't there be some sign within his thoughts to indicate that he was capable of this? "But his pack still hates us."

_Which means he could be swayed,_ Jasper thought.

I didn't want to believe that. He cared about Bella, I was certain of that, and she had more to lose in this scenario than we did.

For a brief moment, I allowed myself to think the worst. I imagined the tiny pieces I would shred him into if this little stunt hurt Bella in any way. If he was in his human form at the time of his demise, it would take his pack a while to realize it. We could run away – disappear – maybe to Alaska, or further north into the Canadian wilderness.

Would my family come with us? They wouldn't be safe here if they stayed. But it would be me who had put them in danger. Could they forgive me for that? Could Bella? Would she understand that I did it to protect her?

Protection, or vengeance? I could admit that, in this case at least, the line wasn't wholly distinguishable. There were many factors to consider. If they broke the treaty – if they even so much as implied that my family was something other than human – vengeance would be justifiable.

But I would not kill them quickly for their malfeasance, should it become necessary to silence Bella's father. If they forced us to hurt her in that manner, they would know anguish and suffering beyond their wildest nightmares.

**To be continued**

**Author's Note:**

Well, this was a long time in coming, huh? I am so incredibly sorry about that. Real life and health issues took precedence for a while. Things are a bit better now, thankfully, so the updates should be sooner than every four months.

Responses:

Immortalwizardpirateelf-fan: He's getting there. Head-from-ass extraction is a tricky procedure, and in Edward's case, might very well have side effects, LOL!

Hushi Taloa: Whips and floggers, LOL! Not exactly. And, yes, the moment _is_ coming. (smile)

Thepinktabby: Thank you! Glad you're enjoying the 'like a nervous bridegroom' aspect of Edward's character in this!

vivx-chan: LOL, yeah, she does, and thanks!

Magicsquirrel: I will never get sick of you saying that! It lets me know that you're excited for the next chapter!

ADarnell: I have many plans! (wink)

Dawntwilight000: LOL, yeah, a little bit!

AJ04-Jtrs98: LOL, bat to the head! Yeah, it takes a bit of that to dislodge multiple decades of self-inflicted hatred. He's getting there.

Sweetpea123: What an amazing compliment! Thank you!

Rancora: Not everyone would be comfortable asking questions of total strangers. She's getting a bit more comfortable with Edward, because she spends more time with him than the others, since he is her teacher/mentor. Which is exactly what Edward wanted. – From chapter two: I wanted her to know my family eventually, but for now, as she adapted to becoming a vampire, _I_ needed to be her primary focus. The one she relied on solely. If they were too accessible to her, because she hated me, she would soon ignore me and depend on them.

Xavier2163: It's not exactly a euphemism. (grin)

Aslan: I think they were astonished because they didn't know that preparation would help. They had never known anyone to have prep time before changing. Carlisle considered that it was possibly her gift – he was hypothesizing. Her 'shield' doesn't help with control, or the hunger/thirst, it shields her (and others when she learns to extend it) from certain forms of attack.

Sogian: Thank you so much for taking the time to review every posted chapter! What a treat for my inbox! (smile)

To everyone else: Thank you so much for reviewing, and for the well wishes, and for your continuing support and interest in this story! It is greatly appreciated!

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	21. Chapter 20

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Twenty

By: Jana~

**XXX**

In the absence of knowledge, assumptions run rampant.

Of the many conclusions we all jumped to, there were three that seemed the most logical.

Jacob, or a member of his pack, had told Chief Swan that Bella was not dead, but undead – immortal – and was staying at our house.

One of the mutts had told Chief Swan that his daughter was still alive and at our house, setting us up for discovery through interrogation.

They hadn't told Charlie anything, but were luring him here under some benign pretext, attempting to force a situation that put us at fault for breaking the treaty, like Bella snapping and drinking her own father.

Each imagined scenario resulted in the death of Charlie Swan. Only, with Bella safely at the cottage, the third option offered the best hope of avoiding that. The first two potentialities, however, were still distressingly possible.

There were but a few laws set forth by the Volturi, and only one that is ever regularly enforced. Keep the existence of our kind a secret. If Charlie were to learn that we are something other than human, we would have no choice but to kill him, to ensure his silence, or risk the wrath of Aro and his guard.

But to appease the Volturi meant devastating Bella, not to mention the war that would follow between our family and the Quileute. Whether they broke the treaty by exposing us for what we are, or we did by taking an innocent man's life out of necessity, the outcome would be the same.

Antsy to learn which fate was looming, I scanned the highway outside the private road to our house, trying to locate Jacob's thoughts. I found the tenor of Charlie's first, surprised to find nothing more than desperate curiosity. No horror, no suspicion. Intrigued, I pushed further out, finally finding Jacob a few yards behind.

Leah Clearwater. She was the one responsible for this. The events were at the forefront of his mind, unfolding as he struggled to obey all traffic laws, nervous about his driving while the chief of police was within view…

_Charlie heaved a deep, tired sigh. "It makes no sense. She wasn't scared of the forest, but she sure wouldn't've headed that far out for no good reason. She was smarter than that."_

"_Maybe she just got turned around," Sue Clearwater suggested._

"_Maybe you should ask Edward," Leah interjected. "He hikes out that way a lot, doesn't he, Jacob?"_

_Jacob glared at her in response. "I wouldn't know."_

"_Edward?" Charlie asked. "Cullen? Carlisle's boy?"_

"_Yeah. Maybe he saw something." Leah continued her stare down with Jacob, seemingly extending some form of challenge._

"_If he did," Jacob said, trying to deflect suspicion, "I'm sure he would've come forward."_

"_Maybe he didn't know it was important," Leah countered._

"_It wouldn't hurt to talk to him." _

_Charlie sounded hopeful, even Jacob could hear that._

"_I'll go with you…"_

The memory ended there, as they were now on the road to our house, Charlie in his police cruiser, Jacob in his aesthetically unappealing Volkswagen Rabbit.

Strictly speaking, Leah hadn't broken the treaty, but that didn't minimize her culpability. Her actions could have cost an innocent, grieving man his life, and might have inadvertently incited a war. There was no excuse she could give, no reason good enough to warrant such disregard.

But even with as angry as I was, I felt relief, also. Today would not end in bloodshed. I wouldn't have to kill Bella's father, and Jacob was still the friend I considered him to be.

He was furious with Leah, and well prepared to exact her punishment upon his return to the reservation. Personally, it seemed she would be getting off easy, but I would leave those details to his discretion. His pack, and how he dealt with them, was his responsibility, and I would not interfere with his leadership.

I actually laughed when, as they pulled up in front of the steps, Jacob's thoughts began alternating between apologizing repeatedly and praying that I could _hear_ him with my 'freaky brain picking powers'.

In response, my family directed surprised, questioning stares at me. We all heard but ignored the sounds of two car doors slamming shut, one after the other.

"Charlie knows nothing, and Jacob didn't start this," I explained briefly.

They were eager to know more, but an in depth explanation would have to wait. A few moments later, there were three sharp knocks that echoed throughout the foyer.

When acting human, there were really only two things one must remember.

First, breathe. The subtle rise and fall of this function was not usually noticed consciously, until it was absent.

Second, move. Absolute stillness is a marker of our kind. A little fidgeting, the slight shifting of weight, and the illusion that we were just like the rest of humankind was complete.

While our parents went to answer the door, my siblings and I took our places on the couch, Jasper and Alice on the seat, me on the back of it. I swung my leg as it dangled, casually, seemingly engaged in a conversation with Jasper. Alice pretended to be engrossed in some show about fashion that was playing on the television.

"Chief Swan, this is a surprise. Won't you come in?"

We listened as pleasantries were exchanged and introductions were made, waiting until their footsteps drew nearer before reinforcing our charade.

"…but he just ended up face down in the mud!"

I chuckled and shook my head, as if I found Jasper's story amusing. Then, allowing for a few additional seconds to pass, I finally acknowledged that we had guests in the room. Humans have a slower response time than our kind, and I was determined to play this part perfectly.

Respectfully, I stood in greeting, as did Jasper and Alice.

"Our youngest three children, Edward, Alice, and Jasper," Carlisle said, gesturing toward us. "Our eldest two, Emmett and Rosalie, are out for the day."

Charlie's eyes never left me, even when Alice waved and Jasper nodded politely. Somehow, perhaps instinctually, he seemed to know who I was.

Jacob stood in the background, distancing himself, his thoughts in a chaotic tangle. In one of the more decipherable strings, I found he was worried that we might not be accepting of his presence here.

Offering him assurances would have to wait.

"I'd like to ask you a few questions, Edward, if it's okay with your folks."

"Of course," Carlisle agreed to Charlie's request, a hint of parental concern and curiosity in his tone.

Nodding, bringing confusion into my expression, I appeared every bit the awkward teenager, wondering what an authority figure might want of me.

"One of the kids down on the rez says you hike out by the clearing sometimes?"

I knew exactly how to respond to this. Even before he stepped out of his police cruiser, I had formulated several answers to every possible variable.

"Sometimes."_ Avoid outright admitting to being there, ever._ "If we're thinking of the same place," I added.

"Recently? In the last week?"

I fought not to react to his hopeful desperation. He wanted to solve this piece of the puzzle, not only as Bella's father, but as a trained investigator, so that he could lay her to rest with full closure.

I wished I could have given him that.

"No, not recently." _Humans often struggle to recall exact dates and timelines._ "About two weeks ago, maybe three."

Charlie hung his head as he nodded, his grief like another entity in the room with us. I had crushed the man using only my words.

"Okay, well, I'm sorry for taking up your time."

"Not at all," my father said, turning with him to walk him out.

I couldn't just leave it like that. There were so many things I wished I could have said. That he needn't worry about his daughter. That I would take care of her and cherish her forever. I wanted to ask him properly for her hand in marriage. I wanted his blessing.

But I couldn't say any of that, so I settled for what I could.

"Chief Swan?" He spun around, facing me once again. "I'm so very sorry for your loss."

"Did you know Bella?" he asked, surprised. His thoughts were still unclear to me, but it seemed he was trying to remember if Bella had ever mentioned knowing me.

"No, sir…" That wasn't a lie; I hadn't known her when she was human. "But I feel as though I did. Jacob has always spoken fondly of her."

Confused now, he looked to Jacob, and then back to me. "I didn't know you boys were friends."

"Tolerated acquaintances, I think, might be a better description."

Jacob snorted at my teasing, his thoughts unraveling from the mayhem they had been in before. He was more at ease now. Relieved. _You tolerate me, huh? I'm awesome and you know it._

I grinned back, just a little, the situation not accepting of anything more than that. Charlie said nothing further; he just scratched at the scruff on his jaw and followed after my parents.

As the conversation in the foyer wrapped up, as Carlisle offered his condolences and assistance in any way that might be needed, Jacob and I listened in silence, waiting. We couldn't speak freely until Charlie left, anyway, but neither of us was particularly eager to hear all that needed to be said.

Charlie thanked my father before calling out, "You comin', Jake?"

"I'll catch up later, Chief," Jacob called back, his eyes still on me. The moment the door clicked closed, signaling that Charlie was gone, he launched into apologies. "I'm sorry! I'm _so_ sorry! I take full responsibility."

It was the sign of a good leader, that he would take the accountability upon himself, but I would not hold him liable for another's actions.

"I don't fault you, Jacob. I know it was Leah. But do you understand how disastrous this could have been? If he had seen her? If she had smelled him?"

Remorsefully, he nodded. "Where—? Where is she?"

"Away. We thought it best that she not be tempted to drink her own father."

He cringed, imagining Charlie's lifeless body, drained of blood, Bella hovering over him…

"Let's just be grateful that it didn't come to that," I said, somewhat harshly; our narrow escape from that very ending was unsettling enough without the mental picture.

"Why did Leah do it?" Carlisle asked, as he and my mother rejoined us. "What did she hope to gain?"

Snippets of a previous conversation he'd had with his pack jumbled inside his mind, but I waited for him to answer instead of doing so for him.

"She's pissed that I'm friends with Edward. They all are. They don't agree with my decision to let him save Bella."

"The alternative was death!" I snarled.

"Hey, I know, okay? I'm on your side here! And they know it. Which pisses them off."

"Maybe we should just leave, then," Jasper suggested. "We could go to Alaska for a while, until Bella can be around humans."

Jacob's thoughts became alarmed. "No! Don't do that! I'll— I'll talk to them again, okay? I'll get them to back off. Just— just don't take her away from me. I mean, it's bad enough—"

He stopped there, but I knew what he was going to say. _It's_ _bad enough that she's a vampire._

I scowled, hurt and annoyed. For all his progress in leaving his tribe's ingrained prejudices behind, it seemed it would always return to that. I was starting to doubt that he would ever truly be free of them.

By my expression, he suddenly realized that I was offended by his unspoken words. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"Yes, you did," I said, interrupting him. We stared at each other for several long moments before I finally looked away. "I need to leave now. Bella is expecting me." I had only taken a few steps when Jacob called to me.

"Hey!" I stopped but I didn't face him. "I didn't actually say it! It's not my fault you can read my mind!"

He was right. How many times had I forgiven my family for their silent contemplations, simply because they had not voiced them aloud? Hadn't I been guilty of the same, my thoughts of him derogatory and worse? Just twenty-eight minutes earlier, had I not sentenced him to torture and death, convicting him of exact crimes unknown with nothing more than circumstantial evidence in support?

I had no right to my indignation, merely because I could keep my thoughts private when he could not.

Turning, I smiled a little; an act of contrition. "I know."

Warily, he smiled back. "So then we're cool?"

He didn't want to lose this odd, as of yet undetermined friendship between us. I didn't want to, either.

"You tell me."

The meaning of that was clear. Could he truly accept us as more than the monsters he had been conditioned to loathe?

"I am if you are." He had made up his mind. He would not allow his pack to dictate whom he could befriend.

"Then, yes," I said, genuinely.

Walking over to me, he extended his hand, which I took. It was the first time he had ever initiated the gesture. "I'll talk to them, okay?"

I agreed, though I really didn't think it would do much good. The Quileute have deeply rooted legends and beliefs, and vampires rank as the enemy in all of them. Jacob's newfound tolerance was more due to the fact that Bella was now one of us. If not for that, he most probably would never have challenged the status quo.

I left Jacob and those thoughts behind me as I headed for the cottage, not wanting Bella to worry for any longer than need be. And I knew she would be worrying. She left unwillingly, scared and frustrated.

I hoped she wasn't panicking. Emmett could handle her, but I didn't want her day to be ruined more than it already had been.

"_Bella, come on, you know I can't tell you. Edward would kick my ass."_

"_If you don't tell me, _I'll _kick your ass! And I think you know I can."_

"_He shouldn't be much longer, and then you can ask him yourself."_

"_He doesn't always answer my questions. He dodges them. I want to know. Tell me."_

"_Help me out here, Rose."_

"_Leave me out of this, Emmett. I'm not at all interested in getting my ass kicked."_

What did she want to know? I would tell her, even if that meant contending with irrational newborn Bella. She deserved to know anything – everything – and I would willingly go through pain or worse to give her what she deserved.

"_Come on, Bella, be reasonable. What's a few more minutes?"_

Bella was advancing on him and Rosalie was laughing. Was she not concerned with protecting him? Her thoughts were just of humor. Was this a common tactic females used, the threat of crushing the male ego? Since no man of honor would fight a woman, she would appear the winner and he would look the fool. Weak.

Interesting.

"_A few more minutes?" Bella repeated. "Okay, Em, I'll tell'ya what. I'll give it three more minutes. If he's not here by then, you're telling me exactly who is over there, and exactly what they want."_

So that was what she wanted to know. Of course I had already planned on telling her, but I could understand her assumption that I would be less than forthcoming, given my propensity for that.

That needed to change, starting now. Bella was my equal, not some child to be treated as incapable of comprehending the world around her. If she reacted in a negative manner, I would help her through whatever followed.

Emmett was growing tenser, but I was just seconds away. I would be there well under time. His ego would be spared, until the next time Bella attacked him.

I smirked at the thought. Finally, at least for a while, there was someone who could match his strength. For the remainder of my run, I considered all the ways I could use my newfound knowledge.

I was usually a quiet runner, but within a few yards of the cottage, I could tell by their thoughts that they knew I was nearing.

_There! There he is! Scraping it close, little brother._

I grinned, but wiped it from my expression as I pushed through the front door. Bella was on me in a flash, and I mean that she was literally _on_ me. She jumped into my arms, wrapping hers around my neck and her legs around my waist. As she clung to me, Emmett and Rosalie moved to leave.

_We'll just give you guys some privacy._ I almost growled at the direction of Emmett's thoughts. His imagining Bella and I together, intimately, was neither appropriate nor accurate. Not today, anyway, and not here. She deserved far better than to be claimed amongst the filth of an abandoned cottage.

_Talk to her, idiot. Alice and I already laid the groundwork. _I rolled my eyes. It could not be considered groundwork when one was forced to deconstruct it and start over, which was exactly what I would have to do.

When we were alone, seconds later, Bella shifted back to look at me, questions brimming in her eyes, her expression filled with stubborn determination. She was preparing for battle.

"Who was it? Don't dodge it, Edward. I want to know who was at the house."

"Your father," I answered without hesitation. She seemed surprised, most likely by both the admission itself and my straightforward reply.

Sliding her legs from around me, she stood, still staring at me. She rested her hands against my chest, creating a little space between us, so I moved mine to her waist, grasping gently. "What did he want?"

"He just wanted to ask me a few questions."

"About what? He doesn't suspect—?"

"No," I answered quickly, interrupting her, hoping to quell her rising distress. "He just wanted to ask me about my hiking activities, curious to know if I had seen anything that might explain why you were so far from home."

"What did you tell him?"

"That I haven't been out hiking in over two weeks."

Her eyebrow arched incredulously. "And then he just left?"

"Yes."

"There's something you're not telling me," she accused, calm and certain. "I heard you ask Alice about an ambush."

_Total honesty,_ I reminded myself._ She's your equal, not a child._ "For a few minutes, we did wonder if one of the wolves had said something to Charlie, about you being alive or immortal, because Jacob was with him."

"Why was Jacob with Charlie?"

"Under the guise of keeping Charlie company, but in actuality, it was to explain what had happened, so we would know that the treaty had not been broken. One of his pack sent Charlie to us, only with a benign comment about my love of hiking. Your father was hoping for that last, missing piece of the puzzle, for the sake of closure."

"Who?" she demanded. "Which pack member? I want a name."

She wanted the name for one reason only. Revenge. A newborn Bella, pissed off and defending her mate, would not bode well for Leah. Or anyone else, Bella herself included.

"That I cannot tell you. Jacob wants to handle his subordinate on his terms, and I will not interfere with his rightful leadership."

I thought she would argue, but she seemed to value this concept enough to accept it without challenge.

Sighing, she wrapped her arms back around me and pressed her cheek against my chest. It seemed that our conversation was over then.

My world felt centered again. The day could have ended so differently, with many lives lost and Bella and I possibly separated – one of us dead, one of us undead. Instead, she was here, safe in my embrace, holding me as tightly as I was her.

The magnitude of that – of everything – seeped into every molecule of my being, crushing me with its weight. Images followed, of a future without her… A future with her…

I knew then what I had to do. Righting the wrongs my sisters had committed would come after. There was something far more important that needed to happen first.

She would need to know the truth, about the monster I had been, before I could ever ask to love her for all of eternity. If she could forgive me my past and allow me that honor, then maybe the fates, or God, had finally granted me absolution for my sins.

If she could just know everything but love me anyway.

"Bella, I have a favor I would like to ask of you…"

**To be continued**

**Author's Note:**

An update in less than two weeks? Are you shocked? Yeah, you're shocked, LOL! (grin)

So, can you feel it? Can you feel it coming? It's coming, trust me.

Responses:

Dawntwilight000: Thank you! And 'give Rose to the wolves', LOL! Nah, she's not _too_ bad, just a little self involved. (smile)

Vivx-chan: Thank you! Yeah, the river scene was fun to write. And of course I was imagining it as I wrote it, smiling the entire time. (grin)

Camilla10: I'm sorry.

Luhannah: Thank you! I really appreciate that! Hopefully you won't have to wait forever! (smile)

ADarnell: I'm doing better now, thanks, though I did have another relapse and ended up at the hospital again. But I'm home now, and back to writing!

VirginiaMay: I have it established that Alice's visions fade or dissolve whenever the wolves are around her or involved in what she is seeing, basically same as the saga, but in this fic, she sometimes catches very brief glimpses before they dissolve. She was able to see just enough to know that Charlie and Jacob were coming, but nothing else. Edward leaving Bella or sending her away is always for her own good – for her protection – and this time, if he hadn't, Charlie might very well have died. He is starting to get a clue, though, don't worry. He's realizing he needs to start treating her more like an equal and less like a child. So glad to hear that this is a 'drop everything and read' story for you! I hope it continues to be! (smile)

Xavier2163: Thank you! I am also a fan of full disclosure and informed decisions, but Edward is a little bit stumbling right now, trying to balance his role as her mentor/teacher and his love for her. He just wants to protect her, so his motives are good; he's just working things out a bit slowly. He's getting there. The 'deep and meaningful conversation on the subject of mating' is coming soon, I promise.

Sogian: Glad you liked the chapter! Writing 'playful Edward and Bella' was tons of fun! (smile) Well, I'm not so sure if we _want_ Bella to remember/regain her memories, but she will. Eventually.

Thepinktabby: Yeah, everyone has reasonable motives and reactions, it just depends on whose side you're on! (grin)

SatinCoveredSteel: Um, actually, no. I had a version of the river scene written before I ever saw the BD trailer, though I did lighten it up a bit. Initially, it wasn't quite as playful.

Jaspersgirl21: I hope I posted in time to save you from dying of anticipation! (smile)

Krish Bulani: Yeah, sorry about that. I really was very ill. I am a bit better now, though, thanks.

To everyone I didn't mention specifically: Thank you so much for the welcome back, and for the well wishes! I'm so glad you're still here, enjoying the story!

And speaking of BD trailers, has everyone seen the new theatrical length trailer? When he has his hand on her pregnant tummy? Awww! November can_not_ come fast enough!

Once again, thank you so very much to my beta, Kristy, for all her help! Check out her fic, _**You Found Me**_ (by: Kristylized)… epic stuff is going down!

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	22. Chapter 21

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Twenty-One

By: Jana~

**XXX**

I had never given much thought to the myths and legends of our kind. Most of them were inaccurate, anyway, so it seemed a useless activity to consider or analyze them. They were far from reality, only existing in novels and horror movies, altered at the whims of their creators, often changing from one story to the next.

But if the obscure myth were to be believed, that vampires could lose their minds, I was on the brink of it.

I wanted Bella to know the truth – no, I knew she needed to know the truth – but now that she was learning it, I was seriously doubting the wisdom of that decision.

"You gonna sit there pouting like a girl forever?"

I was also seriously regretting leaving her, allowing my father and brothers to talk me into going with them on the bizarre male bonding trip I was currently suffering through.

Their initial plan was to take me to the Goat Rocks Wilderness, but when I refused, unwilling to travel that far from home – from Bella – we opted for my favorite hunting spot instead.

"I am not in the mood for your taunts, Emmett."

He huffed in response. "What's the big deal? You're the one who told her to read your journals."

"It seemed the fastest way." And the way of a coward, which I admittedly was. Confessing my crimes to her directly required a courage that I apparently did not possess.

"Fastest way to what, make yourself miserable?"

His question held humor and genuine interest in equal measure. I ignored the former.

"I don't know how much longer I can wait. The pull is too strong and growing, but she should know who I am before I ask her to share forever with me."

"And now she's reading your journals. Problem solved."

The simplicity of his comment – that he was essentially devaluing the precarious state of my future – annoyed me.

"I don't expect you to understand this. The men Rosalie killed—"

"Got what they deserved," he snarled defensively.

"I'm not disputing that," I assured him, unfazed by his aggression, "but they had wronged her personally. What I did was indefensible."

His anger was still present, only now it was not in correlation with the perceived attack on Rosalie's character. "So we're back to the brooding, 'I don't deserve forgiveness' shit?"

"I _don't_ deserve forgiveness," I insisted.

Exasperated, Emmett threw his hands up in the air and took several steps away, distancing himself from the conversation for the moment. Mostly, his thoughts consisted of curse words and insults laced with brotherly concern, so I just tuned him out and focused on Jasper.

Standing like a soldier at ease, he assayed my mood, preparing to dispense his own unique advice. He reasoned through several starting arguments before deciding on one.

"Going by your logic, should Alice not have forgiven me and taken me as her mate? My past was far more violent than yours was."

"Only because at the time, you didn't know any better."

My contention did not deter him; rather, it seemed to provide him with the opening needed to further his point.

"I beg to differ. I knew better – that what I was involved in was wrong – I just didn't know there was another way."

"Exactly, but I did. I knew there was another way. I had seen it, lived it, but still committed atrocities, regardless."

His resolve strengthened. "Your so called atrocities spared more lives than they took. For every man you killed, you saved _at_ _least_ one innocent from falling victim to _his_ atrocities. Hardly indefensible, and at worst, would be considered vigilante justice."

"You make it sound so noble." I was almost being snide. "But what you have conveniently disregarded is that I didn't do it for altruistic reasons. I wasn't interested in justice; I only wanted blood."

"If that were true, you would not have chosen your prey so carefully."

I was sure my victims had not appreciated my so called careful choices. Every one of them begged me to let them live, begged me to finish them quickly when I made them suffer equal pain to what they had inflicted upon _their_ victims, yet I granted them neither.

The monster within me smirked at the memory. The man I wanted to be hung his head in shame.

"It served a dual purpose." My tone was cold. Detached. "To slake my bloodlust and remain inconspicuous. The dregs of society do not often have loved ones to report them missing."

There had been various opportunities to drink others who had no one to miss them, like the homeless, but I never did. It was a line I refused to cross, a moral tether to rein in my immorality. I only ever sought the depraved, whose minds were filled with murderous aspirations.

"Your motives were not as self-serving as you would have yourself believe," Carlisle interjected, quiet until that moment. He had been biding his time, waiting to see what I would say to my brothers before including himself in the conversation. "Even at your worst, there was good in you, a man who could not allow an innocent life to be taken, whether by his own hand or another's. While I don't condone your actions during those years, I do recognize your efforts to be as conscientious as possible within the circumstances. Bella will recognize this as well."

That my father could see any light within my dark past was proof of his love for me. My entire family shared this view, but I had rejected their notions, insisting that there was nothing redeeming about the monster I had been.

Only because of Bella was I now willing to consider their perspective. I wanted her unconditional love and subsequent forgiveness, just as my parents and siblings had given me, but how could I ask her for that if I was unable to forgive myself?

Emotionally conflicted, I looked up into my father's eyes. "I want to believe that. I don't want Bella to see me as an unlovable monster."

"She won't," he assured me. "She has already bonded to you, Edward. She has chosen her mate. Knowing your past won't change her feelings for you."

He made it sound so certain. They all did, my brothers as well.

Allowing their optimism to shape my fantasies, I imagined Bella in my arms, my teeth against her porcelain-hued skin, marking her as mine…

_Mine._

Suddenly nervous again, I began to wring my hands, as I had seen Bella do before. The action did nothing to alleviate my anxiety.

There was only one additional obstacle standing between the dream and it becoming a reality.

"When do you think she will regain her memories?" I asked.

"You're seriously going to wait for that? What if she never does?"

Without answering him, I glanced at Emmett before bringing my attention back to Carlisle.

"It's not an exact science, Edward, you know that. It could be hours, it could take days or even weeks."

I scowled at the ground, as if it were responsible for causing Bella's amnesia. Even though I knew the answer before ever posing the question, I was still frustrated.

As they watched me glare ridiculously at the harmless leaves and bracken, my father and brothers' thoughts all spun in a similar direction, each of them wondering why I was so adamant about waiting. But it was Jasper's that was of particular interest to me.

_Never remembering her human life didn't affect Alice's desire to mate._

But Alice's situation was different. By the time she had found Jasper, it was clear that her human memories had been lost forever. With Bella, it was still possible that she would regain them. Not just possible, but probable.

As long as that probability existed, or until she remembered herself, it would be wrong of me to claim her. It would also be wrong to do so before correcting the assumptions created by Alice and Rosalie with their meddling.

"I need to speak with Bella. Because of _your_ _mates_," I said to my brothers collectively, my tone sharp with censure, "she has been led to believe that claiming another is a violent act."

Emmett grinned proudly. "It can be."

"But it doesn't have to be," I countered. "I want her to know that."

"I bet she surprises you," he teased, goading me. "She's feisty."

I refused to allow him to rile me. Rolling my eyes, I stood up from the decaying log I had been sitting on for the past several hours and began to walk away. "Goodbye, Emmett," I called over my shoulder.

I didn't know if Bella was finished reading my journals yet, but dawn would be breaking soon, and I wanted to enjoy the sunrise with her.

They say it is always darkest before the dawn. While this adage has no factual basis, it felt true to me as I ran for home; as I ran toward Bella and the hope of salvation. Blackest night seeking the light of day.

For far too long I had been plagued by that blackness, trapped in the pitch of it by the guilt of my own heinous deeds. Though my family had tried to shine the light of forgiveness, it always remained elusive. I now realized the reason for this.

Only Bella could bring the dawn that would finally end my endless night.

The full significance of that struck me like lightning, causing me to stumble and stop as I neared the edge of our property.

Bella was the key to everything, not only to my heart and happiness, but to the cell in which I had imprisoned myself long ago. Were she to deem me worthy enough to exonerate me of my crimes, only then could I finally begin to forgive myself.

Was she even aware? Did she understand that my entire existence lay fragile in the palm of her hand?

And why was I not frightened of the power she wielded?

Wanting to see her but needing a few moments to collect myself first, I climbed a tree a distance away, yet still within view of our bedroom. She was exactly as I had left her, sitting cross-legged on our bed, reading one of my journals while surrounded by the others. Going by the one she currently held and the scattered disarray of the rest, it seemed she was almost finished. There was only one other. The one I had asked her not to read.

I might have been a coward, but I would not have Bella learn of my love for her through my written ramblings. At some point I would show her – maybe we would share kisses as we discussed it and she would laugh at my idiocy – but not before I declared my feelings for her properly.

Bella was a romantic. I would make that moment special for her.

Her heavy sigh as she closed that last journal and set it aside brought me to full alert. She was done. She now knew everything. Everything I had done; everything I had become in the wake of it. And she was… smiling? Why was she smiling?

"I know you're out there, Edward. Come inside."

I would have laughed, had I not been so nervous. How did she know that I was nearby? Did she hear me? Sense me somehow?

Not wanting to keep her waiting, I launched myself from tree to tree, landing just inside the room through the open glass within seconds. Upon seeing me, she flashed off the bed and threw herself into my arms.

I knew all I needed to in that moment, as she held me and ran her fingers through my hair in an affectionate, comforting manner. A conversation was still inevitably necessary, but for now, my worries were all but forgotten.

Bella accepted me.

I wanted to believe that she would – I wanted to believe my parents and siblings when they tried to assure me of it – but until just then, there had still been a shred of doubt. More than just a shred of it, actually. I was terrified that she would reject me.

That she had bonded to me was irrelevant. We were not yet mated. She still could have walked away, had she not been able to accept my past.

But she had, as was apparent by the way she soothed me with her gentle touch and tight embrace.

I could now add _merciful_ to her long list of remarkable qualities. She knew of my fears, perhaps by intuition or instinct, and had ended my suffering the instant I was in her presence.

"What were you doing out there?" Her question was whispered against my ear, causing a pleasant shudder to work its way through me.

"Watching you," I admitted.

She shifted only enough to look at me, her hands still in my hair as she gave me a little smirk. "Creepy." I grinned at her teasing. "Did you guys have fun?"

Losing my smile, I shrugged in response. I didn't want to discuss my father and brothers, or weird male bonding rituals. I wanted to discuss our future. "You're finished reading?"

She nodded. "Riveting stuff." Then she grew very serious. "Why were you so afraid to have me read these?"

"Because I'm ashamed of my past, Bella – ashamed for having allowed the monster within me that level of control."

"From what I read, _they_ were the monsters."

How many times had I heard those very words? My parents, my brothers, Alice… Even Rosalie pronounced my victims to be the true monsters, but considering the horrific way in which her mortal life had been taken, that wasn't so surprising.

"That was my justification for many years, but my actions were still wrong."

"So, because you hate yourself for what you did, you figured I would hate you, too?" I only stared back at her, conveying my answer through silence. "Your past doesn't matter to me. What's important is who you are now."

"It doesn't matter to you that I have killed people?" I challenged. Would it have mattered if she hadn't bonded to me? Was her perspective skewed because of that?

She took a moment before answering, her eyes remaining locked with mine determinedly.

"If you had killed sweet little old ladies or children, then, yeah, it would bother me. But you didn't. You killed murderers who should have been in jail in the first place, where they belonged." Suddenly, her expression changed, now showing guilt and worry. "Would you have still—? Would it have changed anything, if I had gotten to those hikers and killed them?"

I winced at the mention of my failure. "I should have been paying closer attention, Bella, I—"

"That's not what I asked you," she said abruptly, cutting off my apology. "Would it have changed how you… feel about me? If I had killed those three men who hadn't done anything except smell good?"

When she swallowed hard, I knew she was remembering that smell.

"No." She sighed, seemingly relieved, but then as I brushed my fingers into her hair, her eyes grew wide. "No matter the circumstances, I will always adore you beyond what mere words could possibly express."

She could slaughter the entire town of Forks, and I would still love her. I would hold her as she mourned her actions, take her anywhere we needed to go to keep it from happening again, and to hide her from the Volturi if necessary, but it wouldn't change my love for her.

Feeling the urge to prove that love, I leaned in closer and pressed my lips to hers.

Soft, reassuring kisses quickly turned passionate, the intensity of them swelling to a new extreme. I nipped and nibbled as her hands fisted my hair. Her tongue played with mine as I moved my body against hers. Things were spiraling out of control, rapidly, yet I couldn't find the strength to pull away.

It felt too good; too right, too perfect. My instincts were raging, screaming at me to do what came next, naturally. Nothing else mattered. Only Bella. Only our love, our desires, our future…

_Mine. Right now. Forever._

Coherent thought was lost. Brain function, the ability to reason, lost.

I raked her hair off her shoulder and pressed my lips to her neck.

_This spot. Right here. Mine._

But then she stiffened in my arms and took in a shuddery breath, allowing just enough clarity that I could think through the haze.

She knew. No longer unaware, thanks to my sisters, she knew exactly what I had been seconds away from doing.

She was frightened. Rosalie had given her the wrong impression, and because I had yet to inform her otherwise, she didn't fully understand.

She assumed I was going to hurt her.

Expletives I have never said and have rarely thought filled my mind, but I forced them not to leave my mouth. She didn't deserve to hear foul language, ever, but especially not at a moment like this; a moment when I should be apologizing and offering her comfort.

Too ashamed to look at her, I dropped my head to her shoulder. When I did, she relaxed a little.

"Bella, I'm sorry."

She shook her head, her hands now soothing my hair instead of grabbing at it. "You just… surprised me… is all," she whispered haltingly.

I knew that wasn't true. Probably, she was attempting to spare my feelings. She should not have had to do that. I was the one in the wrong. I deserved admonishment, not sympathy.

And _she_ deserved a suitor who wasn't a coward.

Taking a deep breath, preparing myself for what I would find within her expression, I raised my head and met her eyes.

I might not have been able to read her mind, but I could read every emotion clearly as she stared back at me.

Fear, confusion, guilt, frustration, curiosity…

Love.

I sighed heavily, in relief and in shame. "I need to speak with you. Explain things in a clearer manner."

"Okay. About… what just happened?"

Was she so afraid that she couldn't even say the word? I felt disgusted with myself, having let this go unaddressed for so long. There had been opportunities to broach the subject, but I avoided it due to my cowardice, using the excuse that she was still an unstable newborn. That she was overwhelmed, and I was sparing her from becoming more so. That when she was ready to, she would bring it up herself.

But if she was afraid, that would have been difficult for her to do. I should have taken that difficulty upon myself, not expected it of her.

I should have righted the wrongs as soon as I realized what Rosalie had purposefully allowed her to hear.

I was her teacher, I should have taught her!

Curbing my self-directed anger, I used the gentlest of tones when I answered her. "Mating, Bella."

Her gaze shifted to the side, to my journals on our bed, but they didn't seem to be of interest to her at that moment. They were just a focal point.

She was uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that was unavoidable now.

"Bella." Once I had regained her attention, I very softly, very gently, cupped her cheek. "Did you think I would hurt you? That I could?"

At first, she seemed dazed, but then she shook her head, almost imperceptibly. "Could we maybe have this conversation in private?"

I had been so focused on Bella, everything and everyone else was blocked out – distant, only existing in the peripheral of my consciousness. Upon her request, I widened my narrow awareness, finding when I did that my entire family was listening curiously.

Scowling, annoyed by their eavesdropping, I took Bella by the hand and led her toward the open glass wall.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

To where we could be alone. Someplace she would enjoy, where she would feel relaxed amid the beauty surrounding us. To a place that was only ours.

"The meadow."

**To be continued**

**Author's Note:**

A week and a day and here's a new chapter! Are you all in shock yet? (grin)

But, now, here's the thing… I'm not sure how fast I'll be able to get the next chapter out. The problem is… Well, to put it bluntly, I'm scared shitless. Like, panic attacks and everything. I know what I want to do, but there has been a lot of buildup to this, so I'm freaking out, thinking people are going to be disappointed. What sounds good in my head doesn't always sound good to others.

So, because of this fear that has now taken over, I have a little case of writer's block happening. I had considered waiting to post this chapter, until the writer's block lifted, but I didn't want to make you guys wait when you didn't have to. Also, I'm kinda hoping the reviews will boost my confidence enough to squash the fear.

I apologize in advance if I am unable to post the next chapter in a timely manner, and for it sucking if it happens to.

To give credit where credit is due… "fulsome acknowledgement" (wink)… My very good friend, Exintaris, Beta-ed this chapter for me. To be fair to him, I didn't take all of his suggestions, so if something read as 'off', it was probably my mistake.

Responses:

Books101: Thank you! I'm glad that you're liking the Edward/Jacob friendship! I'm really having fun writing it!

Thepinktabby: Thanks! LOL, my son had a similar reaction! He wants to see it, but a part of him has a hard time admitting that. (grin) I'm converting to the Twilight Side, one unsuspecting soul at a time! Muahahahaha!

ADarnell: Thanks, I am doing a bit better. Some pains have been persisting, but nothing I can't handle. Glad you liked the chapter!

Sogian: So glad you liked the chapter! Don't worry, they won't be splitting off into two packs.

Vivx-chan: Glad you liked the chapter! Yeah, I'm bummed we have to wait a year for part two, too! It would make more sense to release part two in, like, June or July. But I guess they want to drag this money maker out for as long as possible.

T Seymour: Thank you so much! So glad you loved the chapter!

DutchGirl01: So glad you loved the chapter, and the Edward/Jacob interactions. I'm really enjoying writing their growing friendship.

Skylar87: Thanks! I know, poor Charlie, right? :(

Camilla10: Thank you. Glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Sweetpea123: Thanks! LOL, yeah, the 'threatening scene' was fun to write! (grin)

Wooleywews: Thanks! LOL, you know me so well! (smirk)

SatinCoveredSteel: Thanks! And thank you for your comments about Edward's protectiveness of Bella. That's how I saw it, too, which is why I wrote it that way.

Kristen04: Thanks! Glad you liked it!

Xavier2163: So glad you're continuing to love the story! I actually added a line in this chapter with your review in mind. The way I have it established is, when they bond to another, there is still a choice, but once they seal that bond (claim/mate), the choice is basically removed. And mating is about both love and instinct. The love is so strong, instinct kicks into overdrive, in a way. Hopefully, that all made sense. (smile)

Sersmom: Thanks!

Krish Bulani: Thank you!

Debby-1957: Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews, both for this story, and my other Twilight fanfic, _Two Weeks_! Glad you enjoyed/are enjoying them!

And to everyone I didn't mention specifically: I am so very grateful for your review! I hope you continue to read and enjoy! (smile)

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


	23. Chapter 22

**Harvest Moon**

Chapter Twenty-Two

By: Jana~

**XXX**

The growing tension between us felt like a tangible object, graspable if it were only within reach. If it had been, I would have grabbed it and throttled it.

I almost stopped as we ran for the meadow, to offer calm reassurances so that Bella's anxiety might be alleviated, but I was too eager to arrive. Eager for her to remember our pleasant day spent reading and exploring with gentle, modest touches. I was hoping the memory would soothe her, that she would then realize I had always been gentle with her. Unless she expressed an interest otherwise, the likelihood of which I seriously doubted, I always would be.

Her interests seemed to be in harmony with my own, if our interactions thus far were any indication. Having a feisty personality did not consequentially denote violent desires with intimacy, as Emmett had implied when taunting me. Yes, she was strong willed and tenacious, but she was also shy and sensitive. And a romantic.

She would want to be cherished. She would want to be loved and claimed tenderly, not destructively.

Rosalie's graphic account of her and Emmett's actions while claiming each other was further proof of this. Or, more accurately, the proof was in how Bella had reacted to me since overhearing those graphic details – the way she had stiffened in my arms, the fear and confusion that had been in her eyes, the way she now held my hand too tightly, nervously, as we neared the meadow…

On some level, whether she was aware of it or not, she was afraid. Of course she would deny that, as stubborn as she was, but I knew it to be true.

After we leapt over the brook, I slowed us to a stroll, watching her only as we passed the tree line and entered the clearing. The sunrise was just starting to break through the darkness, illuminating the morning frost that clung to the grass and flowers.

A little smile formed, for just a moment, before it twisted into a worried scowl.

"Bella…" I brought her hand, still clasped in mine, to my lips and brushed a gentle kiss against her knuckles. "This will be a better conversation than what you're expecting."

"I'm not sure what to expect."

That wasn't entirely true, nor was it entirely a lie, because her expectations were based on misinformation. Probably, she was expecting me to confirm what she thought she already knew. That vampires mate violently, always.

Leading her, I found the exact spot we had enjoyed during our previous visit and encouraged her to sit with me, facing me, both of us cross-legged. When she looked away as we settled in, I touched her chin, urging her eyes to meet with mine.

Remaining silent for a moment, I considered how best to start. I wanted to ease her into the topic, but the line between that and avoidance of it was narrow and difficult to pinpoint. Opting for a moderately direct approach, I finally decided on, "I know you overheard Rosalie speaking with Alice."

I had not meant that as a reprimand, but she seemed to take it as such.

"I wasn't trying to!" she announced defensively. "It's just that… I can hear _everything_!"

Our kind's heightened sense of hearing was still unnatural to her. She seemed upset by it, frustrated that she had not been able to prevent herself from eavesdropping on what she probably assumed was a private conversation.

"You have done nothing wrong, Bella," I assured her. "They meant for you to hear them."

Her brow furrowed. "Why?" She was calmer now. Confused.

"They were attempting to be helpful. They knew I was struggling with how to broach the subject, so they took it upon themselves to be of assistance. Unfortunately, in doing so, they created misconceptions."

"So Rosalie… lied?" She asked this hesitantly, her expression showing guilt with the accusation.

"No, she didn't lie. But Rosalie's story is just that. _Her_ story."

I could see a flicker of realization in her eyes. Even if not fully, she was beginning to understand.

"So there's more than one way to…?"

"Yes."

"The biting?" She began wringing her hands again, as she tended to do whenever she was anxious. I placed mine over hers, so that the physical contact might soothe her.

"That remains the same, but it is not necessary, nor is it common, to take out half the forest when claiming one's mate."

"Why? Why biting?"

The idea of biting, or being bit, was clearly unsettling to her, yet it also intrigued her. Human nature versus vampire nature, contradicting. The former was warning her to fear it, while the latter was pulling her to do it.

"While some traits and principles do linger, our baser instincts, now, are more animalistic than when we were human. We bite to claim, to mark as ours, so that others will know, and to remind ourselves to whom we belong."

"Like a commitment ritual."

This was not posed like a question, nor was it a statement of fact. It was as if she was voicing aloud, to herself, a silent guess she had made previously.

I confirmed it, though it didn't seem that she was requesting or expecting me to. "Yes. It seals the bond."

"Bond?"

The word was not unfamiliar to her, only the specifics were unknown. I knew that Rosalie had mentioned it when spewing her unsolicited story, but she had done so briefly, and in a vague manner.

That my sister had devalued the emotional aspects of mating did not surprise me, since she valued the physical aspects more. It was, however, one of the many reasons why I was upset with her.

Bella didn't know what it meant to bond to another. All she knew was that Rosalie and Emmett had waited a grand total of forty-two seconds, after he had finally bonded to her, before heading into the forest, naked and wreaking destruction.

But I wanted her to know. I wanted her to understand the importance of what was happening, to her and to us. That there was a reason and a name for all that she was experiencing.

"The electricity, the fierce protectiveness, the unrest when not together, only truly feeling complete when in the other's presence, the pull, like gravity has shifted – these are all part of the bond that forms between mates. The act of claiming seals the bond, creating a sense of balance."

She tensed, and her eyes widened. "The electricity thing goes away?"

Was she worried that it would?

"No." I took her hands in both of mine, to reassure her with touch as well as words. "Mostly, claiming one's mate settles the unrest, and stabilizes the shift in gravity."

"Okay."

Her tension eased marginally, but a heavy sigh and pensive silence followed. Something was still troubling her.

"Bella?" I needed her to talk to me. I wanted to address and correct every lingering misconception, now, before they could cause any further damage. "Please?"

She glanced up at me in acknowledgement before returning her focus to our hands. "Does it… hurt?"

"No," I answered immediately. I didn't want her to worry about that for even a moment. I would never, could never, hurt her. "The description that tends to be the most common is that it tingles. Pleasantly, according to some."

I saw the relief in her eyes when she finally looked into mine, and there was a twitch of her lips, like she wanted to smile but was forcing herself not to.

"Rosalie sure made it sound great, but, the rest of her story…" She scowled, dropping her gaze once again. "It seems like they like pain."

It would seem like that, since she was still adjusting to what she was now. "The threshold of that is different for our kind. Like when you mutilated your arm to watch it heal, for example."

"But that didn't hurt," she insisted. "It just felt weird."

"Exactly. Rosalie and Emmett are not fond of pain. Their fondness is for destruction."

This time when her lips twitched, a faint smile slowly began to appear. "So it's not just Emmett plus _boredom_ that equals destruction."

I grinned, elated that she could find humor in what had been frightening to her before. "He's like a rambunctious child who has happened upon the keys to a bulldozer."

She grinned back at me, amused by my joke. "Rosalie sure seems to like that about him."

My smile faded and, in response, hers did as well. "Rosalie's mentality is a little more complicated. She has a lot of deep-seated anger, because of the manner in which her human life was ended. Idle destruction gives her an outlet for that anger."

"Oh."

Her expression changed, guilt and sadness interweaving into remorse.

Of course Bella didn't know the specifics of Rosalie's unwanted immortality, the brutal way in which her mortal life had been stolen from her. My sister was averse to sharing that about herself, it being of an extreme personal nature. She had no choice in my knowing her story, but it took years for her to share it with everyone else in our family, besides Carlisle and Emmett; our father because he was the one who had changed her, and therefore already knew, her mate because he had asked, and she would deny him nothing.

It would be a while before she would willingly share that with Bella, and it wasn't my story to tell. Rosalie and I might have clashing personalities, but beneath all of the antagonism, I loved and respected her, and I knew she did me as well. I would never betray her like that.

I knew Bella would value such loyalty, but it seemed as if she wasn't interested in continuing that subject, anyway. Her scowl had returned, her remorseful demeanor shifting back to trepidatious.

I needed to help her through this, to keep her talking so that knowledge would breed understanding. Only then would she be comfortable with the idea of mating.

"Please, Bella, tell me what you're thinking."

Her gaze still averted, her hands twitched in mine, trying to wring them but unable to do so due to my holding them. I gave them a little squeeze, hoping to encourage her.

"In the bedroom, you— you almost…"

There was no need for her to finish her sentence. I knew what she was referring to. "Yes," I admitted, "and while out in the forest, after the altercation with the wolves."

Would she be upset with me for nearly taking such liberties? Without declaring my feelings for her first, I had almost claimed her, twice, even though she lacked or had only ambiguous knowledge.

She had every right to be upset, disgusted by my behavior; I would not begrudge her that.

Expecting to be reprimanded, I braced myself, but the scorn never came.

"Why did you… stop? Did you… change your mind?"

I have often felt as if I was _losing_ my mind, but I could never _change_ my mind. Not about this. Not even for all of the riches available on this planet. "No. I have never been more certain of anything in my entire existence."

"So then you've… bonded… to me."

She sounded so unsure. Had I not made that clear? It seemed so very obvious to me, like my every word and action had been steeped in substantiation.

"Yes. It started while you were still changing."

Suddenly, she smiled widely, and then she threw herself into my lap, into my arms. "I thought I was crazy! I mean, we barely know each other. How can it be so strong so fast?"

I breathed in deeply, relieved and intoxicated by her scent. I knew she had bonded, but to finally have her admit it, to have her understand it and be accepting of it…

"For our kind, once we find our mate, the bond is usually instantaneous."

I left unsaid that this was not typically true of newborns. She was already feeling self-conscious, even guilty, that she was the only exception to my and Jasper's gifts. She would not want another reason given, proving how she was exceptional.

She pulled back a little and her eyes met mine, full of wonder. "Okay, so, first you feel the bond, and that signifies that you found your mate, and then you _claim_ to seal that bond."

I grinned. She wasn't afraid anymore. "Yes."

"And you've thought about this? How you would…?"

"Yes, so many times." I raked her hair off her shoulder, revealing her neck to me. "I know the very spot." I spoke in a whisper, nuzzling that very spot. "I imagined I would bring you here to the meadow. I imagined tender touches and kisses."

Her breathing turned shaky, but I knew it wasn't from fear this time. Her scent was heavy around us, exciting me beyond any intensity I had ever felt.

She was ready.

But was she?

She made this little sound – a soft moan – and craned her neck, offering herself to me.

"Edward, yes."

She was ready.

But no. Wait. I needed to think, if only I were able to.

We needed to wait.

But why?

Gentle, lingering kisses, needing to be _right there_, where I would mark her as mine forever.

But there was a reason why. I was sure of it. I just needed to _think_.

And then my tenuous grip on sanity slipped, just enough that I was able to remember… that she _couldn't_.

I began shaking as I fought against the avalanche of instinctual need. "Bella…"

She stiffened a little, nervously. "What's wrong?"

Her voice was so small. She was fearing rejection again. I hated that I was the cause of her fears.

I shifted so that I could see her eyes, wanting to reassure her with mine. "No, Bella, just… your amnesia."

"What about it?" she asked, confused, now, rather than anxious.

"I think… I think we should wait, until you regain your memories." It was almost excruciating, forcing myself to say that. Right and wrong were at war inside my head, neither of them winning nor losing. Equally matched, both sides were just inflicting pain.

"Why?"

"You should know who you are before making a commitment such as this."

"Before, after… I don't see why it matters. Remembering won't change anything. It won't change _us_."

She sounded so certain, just like everyone else. Was it me who had been wrong this whole time? Would her regained memories actually change anything? Was it just another excuse to deny my happiness, as Carlisle had mentioned in reproach?

I wanted to be happy – I wanted happily ever after, even if I didn't strictly deserve it – but I wanted those things for Bella more than I wanted them for myself.

"I just want you to be sure. I don't want you to have regrets, later, wondering if you should have waited to make such an important decision."

"That would never happen, Edward. I know what I want, and that won't change, ever."

Still so certain, and her expression was the epitome of determined. Suddenly, it felt like _I_ was the student under _her_ tutelage.

"And what is it that you want?" I asked, nervous like a timid schoolboy.

"You. Forever. Officially."

I had not planned for this. I had only wanted privacy with her, to correct the incorrect assumptions left in the wake of my sisters' unhelpfulness. I had hoped to ease her anxieties about mating, so that when the time came, she wouldn't be afraid of me or the act itself.

When the time came. Eventually.

But _eventually_ was no longer some unknown moment in the future, and _wrong_ was winning the war against _right_ inside my head.

"And you're ready right now, while only knowing your name and a few random details of your life before?"

"I might not ever remember more than a few random details. You don't."

She was ready. Right now. There was no mistaking the certainty in her voice. Her absolute conviction weakened the last thread of my resolve. When it finally snapped, less than a second later, I pulled her firmly to me and pressed my lips to hers.

Nothing would stop us this time. The world would have to end in a fiery explosion to even have the hope of doing so.

Once I had tasted her properly, indulgently, I allowed a little space between us, only so that I could cherish her. I cupped her cheek, conveying with my eyes what my following words – mere consonants and vowels – could never fully express.

"Bella, I love you."

Her warm smile and adoring gaze were more brilliant than a million sunrises; purer than the first snowflakes to ever grace the sky. I was in awe of it, as if I were an honored witness to the planet being created anew.

"I love you, too," she whispered.

One week. Seven days since first catching her scent…

Time passes differently for our kind. To humans, seven days might not seem like very much time, but to a vampire – a creature who never sleeps, who is hyperaware of every facet of every second – a week can feel like years.

It felt like I had been waiting for far too long, for her to say those words to me. I often feared she never would. But now that I had heard them…

Overwhelmed, I touched my lips to hers, reverently, wanting to express the strength, the depth, of my love for her.

The world outside our own ceased to exist. There was just Bella, with me, in _our_ meadow. Always ours, forever in our memories, no matter where we traveled in this country or in others.

And the memory would be more perfect than I could have ever possibly imagined.

She tensed initially, startling when my teeth first sank into her flesh, but then she relaxed against me, a soft, contented growl rumbling deep inside her. Cradling her, I let her weight depend on me, supporting her so that she could focus solely on feeling.

This was a monumental occasion, and I wanted her to enjoy every moment of it.

Carefully, I clamped down harder, my venom flowing into the wound, to seal our bond and mark her as mine, permanently, for all of eternity.

Eternity… That wasn't nearly enough time. No measure of time with her would ever be enough.

But we would start with forever. I would spend all of that forever and beyond, proving my love for her, thanking her for loving me. Learning, sharing, enjoying, consummating…

Never had I felt so at peace, and yet so alive. Complementing. Contradicting. All consuming.

Only our kind could experience emotions this strong; no mortal being could survive the intensity.

This was why my happily mated family members were not miserable. This was why Rosalie had stopped lamenting the loss of her humanity in every moment of every day. This was our kind's reparation for having to suffer through an unending immortality, forever bloodthirsty, always more monster than man.

But in that moment, the monster was nowhere to be found, and I was more a man than I had ever been.

I needed her. I needed to be with her, to lay with her and become one with her. With the way she was moving against me, subtly, I was certain she felt that same need.

Or perhaps she was unaware of her actions. Perhaps they were instinctual, rather than deliberate. Whichever, I was powerless to resist.

I would not force her, but I would take and reciprocate all that she gave me, until she came to her senses or the world exploded.

Or I did, either one.

Removing my teeth from her flesh, I salved and then kissed the wound, paying reverence to the honor she had bestowed upon me.

She chose _me_. It was _my_ mark that she now wore. She was _mine_, forever.

"Edward?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Do I get to claim you now?"

I gripped her tighter, my fingertips pressing firmly into her back, and offered myself to her. "Yes. Bella. Please."

She emulated me exactly, nuzzling and kissing, her focus in one location more so than anywhere else. Excited, eager to be hers, I pushed my hand into her hair, cradling her head in encouragement.

There was only a moment's hesitation, and then I felt her teeth pierce my flesh.

Euphoria. That was the only word that even came close to describing it, and yet it was wholly inadequate. I was flying, floating, high as if on some unique form of narcotic.

I didn't fight the drug's effects; I surrendered, knowing I was safe in Bella's arms, and let time lose all meaning.

She released slowly, soothing and kissing my wound as I had hers, bringing me back into lucidness. Our bond was sealed. I was a mated vampire, bonded to the most amazing creature to ever exist on earth.

My hand still in her hair, I gripped and pulled, gently, and crashed my lips to hers.

Our bodies moved in ways that sought the most pleasure, both of us fully aware of doing so, the motions no longer subtle. My hand slid up the back of her shirt, needing to touch more of her.

Without breaking our now frenzied kiss, she created a small amount of space between us and brought her hands up, working the buttons open on her blouse.

I should have anticipated this. I knew to expect it. From what I have read in the minds of others… my own instincts had been screaming it at me…

Of course she would want to seal every aspect of our bond. It was only natural.

But not like this. Not out of wedlock.

"Bella, wait. Stop trying to take your clothes off."

She growled a little before reaching for the buttons on my shirt instead.

"Bella…" I took both of her hands in mine, stopping her. "Marry me," I blurted.

Stunned, it took several seconds for her to finally find her voice. "Huh?"

I should not have asked her so crudely, but it had already been said, and I wasn't about to take it back. "Marry me," I repeated, this time with an appropriate level of regard.

She stared, only stared, unblinking, not breathing, for the longest stretch of silence ever in recorded history. "Like, in a white dress, in a church…?"

I swallowed the lump of nerves and forced the answer from my constricted throat. "The attire and location are negotiable. Just marry me."

As her confusion climbed, so did my anxiety. This was not how I had imagined this moment. I would have brought her back to the meadow, yes, but I would have had a ring, and I would have got down on one knee like a proper gentleman…

"Vampires get married?" she asked, unwittingly interrupting my self-reproof.

"Not very many…"

I only knew of four couples who had bothered with the formality, and three of them lived in the same house as me. It wasn't typical for vampires to wed, our instincts being closer to those of the animal kingdom, but the value of marriage had been ingrained in me long before I became immortal. It was one of the few principles that had lingered after the change, an old-fashioned, obsolete notion that held timeless importance to me.

And then with my father's views and beliefs…

"Do you believe in God?"

She scowled, concentrating. "I don't know. I don't remember. Why?"

Of course she didn't remember. I berated myself for a moment before answering her. "Carlisle does."

"You don't?"

"I'm… undecided. But what if there is a God? What if we do have souls, and our actions determine where we go when we reach the end of our existence? I want to be with you, in every conceivable way, I just want to be married to you first. I don't want to be the reason why you lose favor with God. Your soul is too steep a price for a moment of pleasure."

She eyed me, considering. Calculating. "I don't think it works like that. It's not about some piece of paper and a fancy party, it's about the commitment. And didn't we just make that?"

"Yes, Bella, but—"

"Did you know that three out of four marriages end in divorce?" she asked abruptly.

I fought a grin, finding her attempt to debate humorous. "I think you will find that the vampire divorce rate is a little lower."

"Or maybe it's higher. Do you personally know _all_ the vampires? Has anyone ever done a statistical study?"

My grin exploded, unable to hold it unseen any longer. She was so stubborn. And feisty. She huffed at my show of amusement.

"I'm just saying," she muttered, annoyed, "I think it's the commitment that matters most."

To soothe her irritation with me, I kissed her lips softly but quickly, several times, until I could feel her slight smile grow beneath my own.

"And while I agree with you," I said between kisses, "I would very much like to declare that commitment in front of God and witnesses, friends and family."

"God is everywhere. He already knows. And everyone else is going to know once they see the marks we just left on each other. Wasn't that the whole point of that? So that others would see it and know?"

Her logic made sense. _Wrong_ was battling _right_ again, and winning by a spectacular landslide.

"I was of the impression that most women like weddings," I argued weakly.

"I think we've already pretty much established that I'm not like most women."

She was an enigma, personifying extraordinary, and she was mine. Ceremony or not, she would always be mine.

But I couldn't get the image out of my mind, of her walking down an aisle bordered in wildflowers and roses, the train of her white dress flowing behind her, all but a few tendrils of hair that framed her face swept up…

"I want to take vows with you, Bella."

Her hand cupped my cheek and I leaned into it, increasing the feel of her comforting touch. "I'm not opposed to that, Edward. I just don't think we need to have some unnecessary party in order to do that."

"What are you suggesting?" I asked, prepared to cave. Of course I would cave. I would give her anything she desired, a fact I had known long before she ever opened her eyes into this existence.

Her thumb brushed across my lips, delicately like the very first time she had done so. "Something a little less… complicated. Less of a spectacle."

She stood abruptly, moving a few feet away before turning toward me. A little grin showed itself, and then she lifted her face skyward. "Hey, God, it's me, Bella. I just wanted to make it official that… I love Edward Cullen. And I promise to honor him and cherish him, in sickness and in health – well, I guess that one doesn't really work – in good times and in bad – that one _definitely_ works – for always and forever until the end of time. I do, amen, and all that."

When she lowered her head, her eyes locking with mine, a satisfied smirk stretched her lips. "There. Done."

I smiled and flashed to join her, pulling her into my arms, spinning with her and delighting in her squeals of laughter. The gesture was grand yet simple, serious yet playful… It was perfect.

I wanted to take vows with her. It didn't matter where, in what attire, or with whom in attendance.

For now.

Taking her hands in mine, my eyes only on hers, I prepared the most meaningful words I would ever say in my entire existence; my solemn oath to be a faithful and dedicated mate.

"Bella Swan, I promise to love you every moment of forever. I promise to honor and cherish you, in good times and in bad, always and completely, until the end of time."

She might have been opposed to an actual ceremony, but the sentiment clearly meant something to her. She almost seemed dazed again, pleasantly; her eyes shone with appreciation while her smile, with lips slightly parted, expressed her awe.

Thrilled to have incited such a reaction, I smirked proudly, and then because she had said it first, I added lightheartedly, "I do, amen, and all that."

Always unpredictable, her reaction was unexpected. Before I had a chance to object, not that I would have done so, she dragged us both to the ground and pounced on me.

**To be continued**

**Author's Note:**

Yeah. That just happened. (grin)

Still scared shitless. So, um, if it sucks, be gentle, 'kay?

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful words of encouragement. This chapter was a real challenge for me, and remembering all your kind words helped to keep me motivated.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love writing their love story, but Edward's POV is a tricky 'voice' to write in. Add to that a romantic/intimate scene… I just wanted to do the chapter justice, and he can be a bit difficult to write at times.

'Fulsome acknowledgement' goes to my friend, Exintaris, for beta-ing this chapter, but I also want to thank my regular beta, Kristy (Kristylized), for taking a look at the chapter when it was in rough draft and giving me her thoughts.

Responses:

Sweetpea123: Thank you so much! I really appreciate that.

Vivx-chan: Sorry the beginning confused you. It was just a fancy, Edward-like way to set up that he was going nuts after asking Bella to read his journals.

Kristin04: Nope, but soon. (smile)

Books101: Thank you, your words helped a lot.

Wooleywews: LOL, your pep talk really made me smile! Thanks!

Kycee: Thank you so much! LOL, Teachward and Newbornella!

Jaspersgirl21: LOL, thanks, biggest fan! (wink)

T Seymore: And now you're mentioned again! (smile) And thanks!

Dazzled eyes22: Thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews! I really enjoyed them!

To all I didn't mention specifically: Thanks again for all the pep talks and encouragement. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint!

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


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